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2B – Daily News – Thursday, March 10, 2011 FEATURES Hubby’s harlot hindering home harmony Dear Annie: A few years ago, my husband had an emotional affair with an old girlfriend. This woman has caused problems throughout our marriage. I never seem to measure up to her. The first time I dis- covered that my husband was seeing her, I told him it had to stop. But just before our anniversary, he told me he wanted to be with her instead of me. I was devas- tated. Of course, a few days later, he got down on his knees and begged me to forgive him. He promised not to see her anymore. However, he refused to stop speaking to her. I found his e-mails and had an emotional breakdown. When I told him in order for me to stay he had to cut her off complete- ly, he did, but mourned as though she had died. We worked through it and became closer than before. I thought he loved me the way I loved him. Two years later, they were e- mailing again. He said he didn’t think I’d mind! He found out she had breast cancer and told me if no one was available to take care of her, he would do it even if it meant ending our marriage. He made it plain that she was more important to him than I was. I told him this was his last chance, and he promised to give her up, so I forgave him. I made it clear that if I discovered he was in touch Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar with her again, I’d divorce him. Well, last year he joined her online high school web- site. He didn’t even go to that school. He says it isn’t cheating if they aren’t hav- ing sex. But emotional affairs are just as devastat- ing. Cheating is doing some- thing when your partner is not around that you would- n’t do if they were with you. Cheating destroys lives. And marriages. — Still Hurting in Tennessee Dear Tennessee: Cheating is when one partner shares intimacies, sexual or otherwise, with someone other than the spouse. Your husband has offered this woman time, ener- gy and devotion that belong to you. Since he doesn’t seem to under- stand your objections, please try counseling before walking away. Dear Annie: I was friends with ‘‘Nora’’ for several years. She was always caring and supportive. A few months ago, I made some com- ments about a mutual friend that she misunderstood and thought were mean-spirited and nasty. I tried to explain what I meant, but she brushed me off, indicating she wouldn’t have time to further com- municate with me. I wrote her a few more times, telling her how much I miss our friendship, and apologized repeat- edly for offending her. I thought she would forgive me, but she ignored my e-mails and finally said she was too involved in other things to write me. She has shunned me completely and unfairly. I miss our friendship. What do I do? — Sad in Salem, Ore. Dear Sad: Nora doesn’t believe your explanation and has decided you are no longer worth her time. She doesn’t seem to be the forgiv- ing sort. Sorry to say, this friendship is over. Dear Annie: ‘‘Frustrated’’ wrote to say she is upset because her par- ents are not living up to her style code. As a senior woman, I understand why her parents might feel this way. They have lived long enough and are confident enough to dress any way they please and not worry about what somebody else might think. Thank goodness that as we get older we are freed from some of the restrictions that younger people worry about. Frustrated needs to find something more important to occupy her mind and leave her par- ents alone. — L.C. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. April is Parkinson’s Awareness Month Join the Caregiver Resource Center of Pas- sages for a free workshop on "Coping with Depres- sion and Parkinson’s," being held 2 to 4 p.m. on Tuesday, April 12, at the Chico Area Recreation District (CARD) Center located at 545 Vallom- brosa, in Chico. It is estimated that 50,000 people in the US are diagnosed with Parkinson’s each year. There are about one mil- lion people living in the US with the disease. Parkinson’s disease is a chronic progressive neu- rological disease. The average onset age is 60. Guest speakers to include: Connie Massie, LCSW Topic: Coping with depression and Parkin- son’s and Adrienne Wrightson, Certified Gyrotonic, Instructor Topic: Exercise tech- niques for those suffering with a movement disorder Pre-registration is encouraged to ensure everyone receives all of the workshop materials being made available. You can do so by calling 1-800-995-0878. Passages, helps older adults and family care- givers with important ser- vices to empower them to remain confident in their ability to sustain and enjoy independent lives. For more information about Passages services go to www.passagescen- ter.org Letting Go of Holding On Passages Mountain Caregiver Resource Cen- ter is hosting a communi- ty workshop to be deliv- ered by Patrick Abore. Dr. Abore’s focus is on recognizing and responding to clutter and hoarding and will be from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Wednesday, March 30, at the Eagle Room at Win presentation River Casino, in Redding. Pre-registration is encouraged to ensure all attendees receive work- shop materials. Register online at clutter.eventbrite.com or call 1-800-995-0878. Lunch is included (dona- tions appreciated). Arbore is the founder and the Director of the Center for Elderly Suicide Prevention and Grief Related Services (CESP) and serves as the Director of Professional Develop- ment at the Institute on Aging. He is also a Senior Lecturer in the Human Services Division at Notre Dame de Namur University in Belmont. Whiskeytown seeks volunteer guides Is Whiskeytown one of your favorite places to spend your free time? Do you enjoy helping others, sharing knowledge, learning new things and developing new friend- ships? Would you like a chance to serve your community, support your park and have fun at the same time? If so, Whiskeytown National Recreation Area is offering you an opportunity to join Whiskeytown’s dedicated team of Volunteers-in-Parks. Friendly and dedicated volunteers are needed to assist with staffing the visitor center, which is located at the intersection of Highway 299 and J.F. Kennedy Memorial Drive. Shifts are available on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. Training and uniforms are available. Duties include greeting visitors, providing information about the area, selling park passes and bookstore items. Volunteers should have an inter- est and the ability to learn all about Whiskeytown and its resources and be able to pass this information on accu- rately to park visitors. Volunteers should also have the ability to learn how to operate a cash register, credit card machine and understand park procedures for selling park passes and bookstore items. Volunteers should be able to com- mit a minimum of four to five hours per week to the visitor center, although opportunities may exist to donate more time if interested. Visitor center volunteers are sched- uled on a specific day of the week and shift time, which are consistent from week to week. Some flexibility is pos- sible, however, reliability and punctu- ality are essential. Volunteers will be selected based on their demonstrated ability and sincere interest in preserv- ing and protecting Whiskeytown’s resources. For more information, call 242- 3421 or check www.nps.gov/whis. Applications may be obtained at the visitor center or by writing to: Volun- teer Manager, P.O. Box 188, Whiskey- town, CA, 96095. Is it a hamartoma or a hematoma? DEAR DR. GOTT: I spoke with a friend recently who said she was diagnosed with a hamartoma in her chest cavity. I corrected her and said she likely had a hematoma, but she was convinced she heard her doc- tor correctly. Can you tell me the right word? DEAR READER: Dr. Peter Gott Without knowing your friend and her medical condition, I can only assume she is correct. I will outline the differences between the two words. A hamartoma is a benign growth composed of an abnormal mixture of epithelial and mesenchy- mal elements. It is a part of any tissue that either grows faster or without the usual organization of its neigh- bor cells. It results from faulty development. Their growth is limited, so they are not actually tumors, even though they are often referred to as such. They are more common in men than women, and most people so diagnosed are smokers. Growths vary in size from 1 to 9 centime- ters and consist of lobules of cartilage, fat, fibromyx- oid tissue and, on occa- sion, smooth muscle and bone. The growth of these lesions is extremely slow, perhaps 3 millimeters per year. A hematoma, on the other hand, develops from injury such as from a fall or banging one’s arm or leg against a hard object. Blood vessels under the skin tear, blood leaks into the surrounding tissue, and a bruise or contusion results. The lesion will often turn purple, dark red, yellow/green and a variety of colors as the blood is absorbed back into the body. The process can take up to four weeks. There are some that do not reabsorb and need to be removed by a physician. If not removed, they may calcify. In an extremity, they cause pressure to build and cut off circulation. Generally speaking, bruises are not a cause for concern, and a person is generally fully aware of why a hematoma develops. Older adults, on the other hand, have less fat under the skin, and they tend to bruise easily. Aspirin and anticoagulants can cause bruising. Disorders that cause bleeding or a clot- ting disorder include hemophilia, thrombocy- topenia, lupus, liver dis- ease, leukemia and other less common disorders. Because your friend referred to her chest cavity, she likely has a harmless hamar- toma. My guess is her physician will continue to moni- tor it on a periodic basis to ensure it does not change in appearance. DEAR DR. GOTT: Would you address the link between alu- minum and Alzheimer’s disease? And if there is truly a link, why do deodorants contain it? Thank you. DEAR READER: I wish I could provide a direct answer. There have been a number of books written and a great deal of research done about a pos- sible link, but after numer- ous years of research, sci- entists remain unsure what role — if any — alu- minum plays in Alzheimer’s disease. In the 1960s and 1970s, researchers experimented with rabbits exposed to aluminum salts. They did discover severe neurologi- cal damage that might be compared with Alzheimer’s in people; however, further review revealed significant differ- ences between what was found in rabbits and what was found in humans. The conclusion? Perhaps they were totally different ail- ments. This is not to say that aluminum has been ruled out as a cause of Alzheimer’s. It simply indicates that the views we so positively held several years ago may no longer be valid. It seems the more we learn, the less we know. In terms of deodorant, it is likely safe. It’s antiper- spirants that contain alu- minum. Readers who would like more information on Alzheimer’s disease can send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Tehama County’s Personal/Professional Service Directory Bankruptcy Attorney Local Bankruptcy Attorney Jocelyn C. 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