Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/264400
3B Friday, February 21, 2014 – Daily News DILBERT Scott Adams PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis PICKLES Brian Crane BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman GET FUZZY Darby Conley ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey ARGYLE SWEATER Scott Hilburn BIZARRO Dan Piraro DEAR CAROLYN » My girl- friend has told me about her unfaithful past. It has me worried. She told me she dated someone for three years, and in the last year she became unfaith- ful. It started with just hanging out with a guy she liked, but she didn't engage in anything physical. However, she did meet someone at work and that went into physical territory. After that ended, a year and a half ago, she became very promiscu- ous. We met four months ago and have been dating ever since. She told me she would never cheat on me, and that her past was full of mistakes. She says she used sex to cope. I've heard the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater," and I'm trying my best not to become a jealous, possessive boy- friend. Any advice? — R. DEAR R. » How come you never hear, "Once a freeloader, always a free- loader" or "Once a whiner, always a whiner" or "Once a self-obsessed, chaos-sow- ing pain in the butt, always a self-obsessed, chaos-sow- ing pain in the butt"? People can be a bad re- lationship bet for countless reasons, often in glorious combination. Fixating on only one of them auto- matically forces you into a narrow view of a person, just when thinking broadly would optimize your judg- ment — not just of her, but of yourself with her. For example, why are you stressed by her cheat- ing, but not relieved by her honesty? Is cheating the only, or even the most serious, way she could hurt you? Have you ever mistreated a girlfriend? Did you disclose exactly how, when and why to your current girlfriend? Of course it makes sense to be concerned about her past. But tease out the contributing elements of cheating, and you'll get a much less tidy, but much more useful set of traits to screen for — in part because they're behind all kinds of destruc- tive behavior. There's dishonesty, for one. There's selfishness. There's thrill-seeking. There's impulsiveness, or susceptibility to immediate gratification. Being possessive of someone, or employing the proverbial short leash, does nothing to offset any of these destructive tendencies. What does keep them from infecting a relationship is mastery of them by your girlfriend, and a certain amount of acceptance of them by you both. The former is pretty straightforward. If she has looked the worst of herself in the face, identified her errors and frailties, worked to overcome them, and accepted that some element of this work will be lifelong , then I like her chances in a relationship. As for the latter: I like both of your chances if you're both mature enough to recognize there's no such thing as trusting someone never to do you harm. There's only trust that it won't be purposeful or negligent. Man reconsiders future after discovering girlfriend's past Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. Answer to Previous Puzzle Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. NEA Crossword Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — You need a challenge. Explore new and complex subjects in order to quench your thirst for knowledge. Take advantage of any free time to read. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Be careful what you wish for. Trying to emulate a phony life- style will not bring good results and can be costly. Be proud that you are a responsible individual. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Someone may be feeling neglected. Spend time nurturing important relationships. Plan a trip that helps bring you closer to people you love most. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Maintain your position in the workplace by emphasizing your talents and ideas to your superiors. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Dedicate time to your family. Sharing hobbies, playing games or enjoying other entertain- ments will bring you closer together. Happy memories are what build strong bonds and encourage togetherness. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Remain calm and patient in your dealings with moody individuals. Take steps to ensure that slight differences of opinion don't get blown out of proportion. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — You'll be upset if things don't go your way. Seeking advice from trusted relatives may help you to gain a new perspective. Don't be afraid to admit you have a problem. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Ignore the pleas of those who want to borrow from you. Keeping accurate records of investments and expenditures is essential to good money management. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Unreasonable accusa- tions or unfounded jealousy will cause tension between you and someone you love. You can avoid unpleasant situations by keeping your thoughts and emo- tions in check. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Stay clear of those who try to involve you in their private affairs. You have much to lose and little to gain. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Don't go over your budget. Spend time acquainting yourself with community events and lo- cal activities. You may be hesi- tant at first, but your social life will benefit if you participate. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Someone is withholding information. You will be able to learn all the details if you maintain your focus and ask pertinent questions. Increased career commitments will keep you busy. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol FRIDAY, FEB. 21