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4A – Daily News – Friday, March 4, 2011 FEATURES Stodgy spouse — steadfast snoozer Dear Annie: I’ve been married to ‘‘Sam’’ for 17 years. I have two grown daughters from my first mar- riage and a 16-year-old son with Sam. For all these years, Sam has been the quintessential stable husband and father, working to put a roof over our heads and food on the table. I, too, have worked the entire time. Sam’s disciplinary methods caused many prob- lems in the early days of his stepparenting — with lots of threats of divorce — but we all survived, though not entirely unscathed. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar changes made? You are assuming he is unable or unwilling, but saving the mar- riage could motivate him. Get some counseling, preferably with your husband, and see what can be fixed. Dear Annie: A year ago, my husband and I lent my daughter some money to help with her mortgage payments, insurance, etc. She told us she would pay a certain amount each month until the loan was paid up or until she got the set- The problem is, I married Sam for his stability and now everything else about him is really getting on my nerves. With an almost-empty nest, I want to get back to the real me — the one who enjoys dinners out, concerts, dancing, travel, the great outdoors, intellectual stimulation, etc. Sam is a couch potato who’s overweight, dia- betic and impotent. I can’t stop myself from imagining a better Mr. Right, which makes me open to the possibili- ty of meeting someone else, and that jeopardizes my marriage. So, Annie, if this Mr. Right comes along, should I go? — Lucky but Not Happy Dear Lucky: After 17 years and a teenage son, don’t you think you owe it to Stable Sam to tell him you are unhappy and would like to see some tlement she was waiting for. As I write this, she has not attempt- ed to pay anything. When I bring it up, she yells, ‘‘You’ll get your money when I get mine!’’ She no longer answers the phone when I call, and when I text, she rarely responds. When she does, it is only to bring up things that happened in the past. She hasn’t come right out and said it, but I get the distinct impression that she doesn’t want me in her life anymore. I am at my wits’ end. She is over 30 and still acts like a defiant teenager. I have already told her I will never again lend her a dime. In the process of try- ing to help her, I may have lost my daughter. What can I do now? — Try- ing Too Hard in New York Dear Trying: This is not about you. It’s about the money. Your daughter either doesn’t have the means to pay you back, or she doesn’t want to. When she thinks of you, all that comes to mind is her guilt. By pushing you away, she also won’t have to part with that settlement money (if she ever gets it). Either chalk this up to a bad loan and let her know she’s off the hook, or insist on repayment and run the risk of an estrangement — whichever result is easier for you to live with. Dear Annie: ‘‘No Name, No Place’’ said her 60-year-old binge- drinking husband was not an alco- holic. There are different types of alco- holics: those who drink daily and become physically dependent, and those who go on binges and can have long periods of time when they don’t drink. As a member of A.A., here’s how it was explained to me: ‘‘It’s not how much you drink, or how often, but what happens when you do.’’ If I only had one drink a day, but that one drink was detrimental to my health or caused me to rage at or be isolated from the people I loved, alcoholism is the likely culprit. — Arlington, Texas Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Veterans benefits requests put on hold The California Department of Veterans Affairs remains committed to working with County Veterans Service Officers and local veteran service organizations to help ensure veterans receive all the benefits entitled to them, however, due to the state’s current fiscal crisis, the department regrets to inform all interested parties that the recent Request for Proposal for veteran out- reach has been cancelled, due to budgetary action by the Legislature. The majority of veteran benefit claims are prepared at the local and county level. CalVet commends each county and veteran organization for providing this invaluable service to the men and women who have served in our armed forces. RANDAL S. ELLOWAY DDS IMPLANTS DENTISTRY 2426 SO. 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Have you ever been embarrassed by a denture or a bridge? If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, call us today at (530) 527-6777 to schedule an evaluation appointment. We would be pleased to evaluate your oral health and discuss treatment options with you. “This administration understands how important this type of funding is and we will continue to look for solutions that will enable counties and local organiza- tions to continue their outreach efforts,” said Acting Secretary Rocky Chavez. “However, CalVet has a responsibility to both the state taxpayer and our state’s veterans and the current budget situation requires all state agencies to re-evaluate current and future expen- ditures to help combat the states $26 billion dollar deficit.” Please contact Ted Puntillo, deputy secretary of Vet- erans Services Division at (916) 503-8300 or via email at Ted.Puntillo@cdva.ca.gov with any questions regarding this RFP. Best of Tehama County Will be announced in a special section on Digital Edition will stay online through March, 2012 2011 Winners Thursday, March 31, 2011 D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY Is Your Check Engine Light On?? We’ll Code Check it Where Excellence Meets Affordable Shingles vaccine not right for everyone DEAR DR. GOTT: There seems to be some confusion about whether or not an older person should take the shingles shot. My husband is over 70 and has been advised that, because he can’t remember having chickenpox (even though he might have been exposed to it), he does not need to take it. In fact, if he takes it, it might even prove harmful. Dr. Peter Gott should not receive the vaccine. They include those on chemotherapy, radiation or other treatment for can- cer; those with a history of cancer; those on steroids because of the effect the steroids may have on a per- son’s immune sys- tem; those with HIV/AIDS; and women who are pregnant. The most common side He has been further advised that there is a sim- ple test his doctor should administer before giving him the shingles shot if he (my husband) is unsure as to whether he ever had chickenpox or not. Please advise. Thank you. DEAR READER: Once a person acquires chicken- pox, the virus lives in a dormant state in specific nerve roots within the body. If it becomes active later in life, it is known as shingles. Zostavax (the shingles vaccine) for people 60 and older was designed to pre- vent shingles. The older a person is, the more severe the effects of shingles can be, so it is likely he should get the injection that will protect him for about six years. According to the Centers for Disease Con- trol and Prevention, this recommendation is made regardless of whether he remembers having the dis- ease. It’s not uncommon for people as they age to forget whether they had chickenpox. The probability of get- ting shingles rises at around age 50; however, the vaccine is recommend- ed for people 60 and older because the safety and effectiveness of the vac- cine has been studied only within that age bracket. There is no specific time a person should wait after having shingles before receiving the vaccine; however, it is recommend- ed he or she wait until the rash is completely cleared following an attack. That said, there are def- initely some people who Alan Wylie Inspector 4950 Mountain Lakes Blvd #B Redding, CA 96003 Mobile: 530/638-1015 TERMITE INSPECTION FREE & SERVICE* or UP TO 15% OFF TERMITE TREATMENT PEST EVALUATION FREE & SAVE 10% OFF PEST CONTROL SERVICE* ©2010 HRB Tax Group, Inc. 1315 Solano St, Corning, CA 96021 530-824-7999 120 Bell Mill Road, Red Bluff, CA 96080 530-527-7515 Mon-Fri 9 am to 7 pm FREE GRAND OPENING Customer Appreciation Day Saturday March 5th Featuring the delightful sounds of....Riviera Paradise - The Night Owls Stop by and say hi and we’ll even feed you! effects of the vaccine are slight pain, swelling, itch- ing or a rash at the site of the injection. For most people, the pain associated with shin- gles lessens as the rash heals. For others, shingles can lead to pain that lasts for years, a condition known as postherpetic neuralgia. Long-term nerve pain can be difficult to deal with and may require pain medication for control. Your husband’s prima- ry-care physician can bet- ter direct him as to whether the vaccine is right for him. There is testing to determine whether your husband had chickenpox as a child; however, if we follow the CDC recom- mendations, that testing becomes a moot point. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Managing Chron- ic Pain.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. EXPERTISE IS STANDING BY. 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