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Wednesday, March 2, 2011 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Vulnerable victim vetoes visits Dear Annie: When I was 5, my mother married an abusive man. He talked down to us and often resort- ed to slapping and name calling. On at least three occasions, he was physical- ly abusive — punching, throwing and beating us. On the other hand, he adopted us and often did nice things, too. Annie’s When I had my first child, my husband and I moved away. We have maintained limited contact with my parents, although they can visit as often as they like. I prefer not to go to their home, where my stepfather is in charge. Recently, I explained to my mother that our children could not visit her without additional adult supervision. She became angry, saying it’s time I put the past behind me. She says I should remember the good things. She insists her hus- band would never hurt my children. But she also denies that he was abu- sive, saying he ‘‘lost control’’ only once. Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar they are so inclined. Your mother, like many women in these situations, is in denial about the way her husband treated his family. Reason- ing with her apparently has no effect. Being a good daughter does not mean sub- jecting your children to potential abuse, physical or emotional. You see your parents regularly, and they are welcome to visit when- ever they wish. There is no reason to feel guilty. Dear Annie: Our new neighbor is a young professional with a boy the same age as mine. We like her and look forward to our sons growing up together. The problem is, she will pop in several times a day for half an hour or more. She doesn’t seem to realize that her intrusions are interrupting our valuable family time. We have tried not answering the door, but she will then phone us or return and knock again. She can see our cars in the driveway, so she knows when we’re in. We have tried telling her that While I am upset with my moth- er for not protecting us, I feel guilty for denying her the pleasure of being the grandmother she wants to be. Without him, she would be a good one. How can I be a responsi- ble mother and stop feeling like a bad daughter? — Unsettled in the West Dear Unsettled: Many abusers can be charming and loving when family time is important to us, but instead of getting the hint, she com- pliments us on our family dynamic. We don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I’m freaking out about what will happen when summer comes and we are both home all day with our kids. Please give me a polite way to get her to back off without ruining any future relationship. — Had Enough Dear Had: Some people need explicit boundaries. When your neighbor knocks during family time, go to the door, tell her this is ‘‘not a good time’’ and suggest a better one, even if it’s the next day. Smile and close the door. Repeat as needed. Dear Annie: The letter from ‘‘No More Frustrations, Please’’ hit me hard. It has been a little over a year since my wife walked out on me, saying I never did anything but sit in front of the TV. She refused to go for counseling, saying I was not going to change and she was done. A month later, I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. I started using a CPAP machine and now have energy again. I finished all of the projects around the house. I bike 20 miles. My weight is down, and I feel so much better. It saddens me how close we could have grown had we gone through this together. You are right. He should do everything possible to save his marriage. I am in counsel- ing, trying to forgive her for giving up without a fight. — Sleeping in California Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Pols make us pay for their false promises From Athens to Madison, there are protests in the streets over promises made that cannot be kept. They were the promises of a better economic future, made by politicians who could not deliver -- and did not expect to be around to be held accountable when payment came due. They were promis- es made to buy votes, to buy peaceful coexis- tence and to buy dreams. And now those promises are being bro- ken. Should we be sur- prised? I think not. A simple search of quota- tions about the value of promises -- especially when it comes to money -- leads to a treasury of global and historical perspective on the sub- ject. The ancient Romans understood it: "Every- one is a millionaire where promises are con- cerned," said the poet Ovid. Edmund Burke, the English philosopher, was another skeptic: "Hypocrisy can afford to be magnificent in its promises, for never intending to go beyond promise, it costs noth- ing." Here's a Brazilian proverb: "Never promise a poor person, and never owe a rich one." A promise implies a future obligation -- something now becom- ing obvious in our pen- sion funds. "A promise made is a debt unpaid," rhymed Canadian poet Robert Service. And what happens when those financial promises are broken? "The promises of yesterday are the taxes of today," said William Lyon MacKenzie, the first mayor of Toronto, in 1834. It's a lesson our K W I K K U T S Family Hair Salon 1064 South Main St., Red Bluff • 529-3540 with coupon $200 REGULAR HAIRCUT off Not good with other offers Reg. $13.95 Expires 3/31/11 own elected officials are belatedly being forced to learn. Ben Franklin predict- ed today's protests: "Promises may fit the friends, but non- performance will turn them into ene- mies." When it comes to your own financial planning, promises are critical. We need to rely on promises that are made by our govern- ment -- everything from the safety of bank deposits to the laws that govern pensions. We can't be accoun- tants or actuaries, but we have relied on our politicians to use sound financial projections. That's why today's crisis is so scary. Generations of politi- cians have postponed facing the inevitable through a process I called "accounting leg- erdemain" in a column written nearly a decade ago about Illinois finances. The legislature bor- rowed from the future to pay the present -- a giant Ponzi scheme, whether it revolved around selling bonds or raising taxes. on. And it's still going But just like Bernie Madoff, the weight of the scam is eventually and always the undoing. Years ago, I did a television report about a pyramid game making its way around the sub- urbs. It revolved around an "airplane" theme, with people buying their way in on the lower level as passengers, and then as more people came on board, they moved up to eventually become the pilot -- and collected big money. Those who hadn't yet "collected" were furious that I had interrupted the scheme before they cashed out. BOOK BARN Used Books Tues-Fri 10-5 Sat 10-2 Serving Tehama County since 1994 619 Oak St., Red Bluff (530) 528-2665 Similarly, over the years many people have become angry at my attempts to explain that Social Security is anoth- er version of the same game, and that it will either default on its promises -- or change them so that those who paid in over their working lives, and also saved addition- al money for their retire- ment, will be told that the benefits are only for the poor. Few are will- Terry ing to face real- ity. Everyone hopes the game will keep going until the promises come true -- for them. And just like all those people who have been caught up in the pyra- mid schemes, those protesting today are angry and embarrassed - - and looking for some- one else to blame. I've frequently writ- ten about the impor- tance of having your own savings, your own "chicken money" set aside safely to give you control over your finan- cial future. Similarly, this column has made a point out of suggesting you continue to invest in growth opportunities for your future -- and that you hedge your bets on the value of the curren- cy. Those are promises you make to yourself -- and keep for yourself. Those are promises that give you some con- trol over your own des- tiny. Here's one more quote on promises, from a most unlikely source, the Renaissance artist Michelangelo: "The promises of this world are, for the most part, vain phantoms; EXPERTISE IS STANDING BY. MAKE AN APPOINTMENT, TODAY. ©2010 HRB Tax Group, Inc. 1315 Solano St, Corning, CA 96021 530-824-7999 120 Bell Mill Road, Red Bluff, CA 96080 530-527-7515 Mon-Fri 9 am to 7 pm Savage The Savage Truth on Money and to confide in one's self, and become some- thing of worth and value, is the best and safest course." Clearly, Michelange- lo could not only sculpt the human body, he also under- stood human nature. It is perfectly nat- ural to want to believe in promises made by others. But first, you must understand their motives. Then you may conclude that the safest course is to rely only on yourself. And that's the Sav- age Truth. T err y Savage is a registered investment adviser and is on the board of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. She can be reached at www.terrysavage.com. She is the author of the new book, "The New Savage Number: How Much Money Do You Really Need to Retire?" Expensive Colcrys replaces colchicine DEAR DR. GOTT: You told a reader the injectable form of colchicine is no longer available but the oral tablet is. I beg to differ. I recently attempt- ed to get a renew- al of colchicine and was told by the pharmacist that it was no longer available and had been withdrawn from the mar- ket. I had to have my doc- tor write a script for the brand name Colcrys. My health plan, which usual- ly pays for my generic medications, balked, and I had to pay more than $40 for the brand name Colcrys. The generic has been withdrawn from the market, according to my Walgreens pharmacist. DEAR DR. GOTT: Oral colchicine was taken off the market because there was no way to check for objectionable materials in the formula. It was replaced with Col- crys, an FDA-approved drug, this past December. DEAR DR. GOTT: from the pharma- cist. What is the story? DEAR DR. Dr. Peter Gott GOTT: Oral colchicine has been pulled from the market. I was told the only drug to take its place is Colcrys. My doc- tor gave me a pre- scription for Col- crys, and fortunately, I have insurance. For a month at two pills a day, the drug costs $500; but with my insurance, I paid only $15. Regarding your article about colchicine, I believe the patient’s physician may be indicat- ing all generic versions of colchicine have been pulled from the market. The brand name Colcrys is the only FDA-approved colchicine available. The dosing has changed sig- nificantly, and so has the price. I am a pharmacist and wanted to pass along this info. DEAR DR. GOTT: I take colchicine for gout. Generic colchicine has been removed from the market, supposedly because of quality issues. It is now available as the brand-name drug Col- crys. The price has gone from about $20 to $200 for a 30-day supply. DEAR DR. GOTT: My 62-year-old husband was diagnosed two months ago with pericarditis. His doctor prescribed colchicine for inflamma- tion. When his doctor gave him a prescription for another month’s sup- ply, he was told that this medication is not approved by the FDA and will not be made any longer. We did find one pharmacy in our town that has a small supply, but we are wondering what will happen if my husband has to continue the medication. His doc- tor thinks there is no problem getting it, but we hear a different story DEAR DR. GOTT: Colchicine is one of the drugs the FDA has ?par- tially? removed from the market by requiring new drug studies on older drugs. The only available oral formula is Colcrys. Any of the older formula- tions still stocked at retail pharmacies can be dis- pensed but are no longer being produced. DEAR DR. GOTT: I think your comment about colchicine being pulled from the market may be incorrect. My pharmacist told me the generic form was discon- tinued. I now have Col- crys. A three-month sup- ply of colchicine was $68.49. Colcrys is $527.49. Now I really have gout pain! DEAR READERS: Thank you. Commencing Oct. 1, 2010, the FDA ordered pharmaceutical companies to discontinue unapproved generic sin- gle-ingredient oral colchicine within 45 days and to cease shipping the product in interstate com- merce within 90 days. A press release indicated small amounts of colchicine would be available until supplies were exhausted. The FDA halted the injectable form in February 2008. The product lacks FDA approval, something that is now required of all pre- scription medications. The FDA-approved brand name Colcrys is currently the only form of oral cohchicine in pro- duction. I am not aware of any other available forms at this time. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com