Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/260281
3B Friday, February 14, 2014 – Daily News DILBERT Scott Adams PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis PICKLES Brian Crane BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman GET FUZZY Darby Conley ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey ARGYLE SWEATER Scott Hilburn BIZARRO Dan Piraro DEAR CAROLYN » I'm 25 and engaged to the guy I've dated since I was 20. I feel like I've always been the one pushing the relationship forward, from wanting to be exclusive to giving an ultimatum that I was going to leave him if he didn't propose by the time I turned 25 last summer (not my best decision). He moved out of my condo once without tell- ing me while I was on a business trip, then moved back in a year later, a few months before the engagement. Then a couple of months ago he told me he wasn't sure he wanted to marry me, and I flipped out and said, "Fine, move out," before leaving on yet another business trip. He then changed his mind before I got back. We've been to a thera- pist twice, and he swears he's committed to me. But now I'm thinking that for some unknown reason, I was so busy chasing him when we were dating, I ignored a lot of flaws. How do I tell if this is just pre-wedding jitters or something we could work out, or if my worries are not just what a normal person feels before their wedding? — Engaged DEAR ENGAGED » Your honesty about yourself is refreshing. The conclusion you draw, though, doesn't go far enough. Specifically: You say you "ignored a lot of flaws" — as if, ultimately, your fiance's shortcomings are the problem. They're a problem, sure, since there's troubling coward- ice in his actions, but the problem needing your attention above all is your own frailty. You didn't love a per- son, you pursued a trophy. That's a serious admis- sion you fall just short of making. (Lost your nerve, I suspect; it's hard to snitch on ourselves.) It's also a serious problem for both of you, because you don't curl up with a skill, or converse with an achievement, or identify with a symmetri- cal face, or raise children with snooty insignia sportswear. You interact with the whole person and whatever habits, quirks, smells, opinions and truths ride along. I'd say "flaws," but I'm not prepared to validate your use of that word. It's possible what you're label- ing as such are just traits of his that don't excite you. Let's say you have different senses of humor or different priorities and goals, just to give two common examples — it's not that one of you is right and the other's wrong, or one's perfect and the other flawed, but instead that the two of you don't match up well. Dishonesty, pos- sessiveness or rudeness? Those are flaws. So take a hard look, both at him and the rela- tionship. Do you love who he is, not just what, as he deserves? When you're alone, are you comfortable, safe, yourselves? Are you willing to test that by ad- mitting to him what you've written here? And offering to call things off, without drama, out of respect for him? Is it pre-wedding jitters or is she sensing incompatibility? Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. Answer to Previous Puzzle Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. NEA Crossword Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Don't feel neglected if someone doesn't go along with your plans. You could go along with the group or spend some time working independently on something else you enjoy. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Indulge in things you find pleasurable. Soothe your nerves by listening to your favorite mu- sic or enjoying a special meal. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Make the improvements you have been contemplating. Take the necessary action to reach an important goal. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Go over your records to deter- mine whether you have been careless with money. Be honest with yourself and make adjust- ments to your budget. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Your outgoing nature will lead to an interesting invitation. Accept what's offered, and take advantage of the chance to ex- pand your social circle. You will encounter someone special. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — A project will demand your full attention. Be thorough, resist distractions and maintain your focus until you have perfected your approach. Procrastination will result in frustration. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Time spent worrying is time wasted. Keep your mind off your troubles by staying busy and accomplishing something uplifting. Don't dwell on what you cannot change. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Proceed with caution. Someone may be trying to take advantage of you. Make sure you are aware of what's expected, and don't be coerced into doing something you'll regret. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Get out and mingle. Sitting at home will only make you more lethargic. Get up, get moving, and indulge in something you've never done before. You could gain a whole new perspective. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Review contracts before you make a commitment. Make sure everyone is in agreement and that you are being treated fairly before you proceed. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Enroll in a course, begin a creative endeavor or get involved in a sports activity. You will meet people with similar interests, and learn something valuable in the process. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Temptation will lead to loss. Avoid a get-rich-quick scheme. Resist high-pressure sales tactics, and get all the details before you sign on the dotted line. Consider the consequences if you act impulsively. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol FRIDAY, FEB. 14