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Saturday, February 12, 2011 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Wandering wife’s wicked woes Chronic ear drainage needs diagnosis Dear Annie: My wife and I have been mar- ried for 21 years. We hit a low note in our mar- riage, and she met an old friend on Facebook. The two of them texted and called each other, met for dinner, got together again and hopped in the sack, and then saw each other once more to talk and kiss. I found her texts and phone calls. We have been to a marriage counselor, and my wife wants to work it out. We have three teenage children, and I am trying to stay togeth- er for them. My wife says she hates what she did, is sorry and cannot believe she got caught up in this type of behav- ior. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar necessary steps to reconnect, revitalize and remember what brought them together, the relationship can actually become stronger. We hope you will continue with counseling to see if you can do this, not only for your children’s sake, but for your own. Dear Annie: I have a comment for the many grandparents who lament the lack of thank-you notes from their grandchildren. My children, both in their late teens, have written thank-you notes since they were little. I wrote on their behalf when they were too young to do so. My question is, how I still have a difficult time trusting her and accepting her betrayal. We met when we were teenagers, and I feel we’ve grown apart. I am no longer happy. Should I work it out and stay for the kids’ sake? We were pretty close before this and did most things together as a family. — Not Sure What To Do Dear Not Sure: It is difficult to regain trust when a partner has cheated, but it is not impossible. It takes time, willingness and complete transparency on your wife’s part. She, too, could have felt you were growing apart when she succumbed to the affair. It does not justify her behavior, but it may help you under- stand her dissatisfac- tion. When both partners commit to saving the marriage and take the many grandparents have ever written a thank-you note to their grandchil- dren? My mother-in-law is on the phone in a flash to complain if a note is not received quickly enough or if she did not quite like what it said. Yet we have never once received a thank- you note for any gift sent to her for any occa- sion. Are grandparents exempt from writing thank-you notes? — Curious Dear Curious: Absolutely not. Every- one who receives a gift is obligated to send a thank-you note of some kind. Grandparents, especially, should set a good example for the grandchildren. You might tell them so. Dear Annie: I am an old person who has raised four kids by two different wives and have a couple of grandchil- dren. I see letter after letter in your column from frustrated parents, siblings, grandparents and distant relatives, lamenting the behavior and habits of various family members and others in their social cir- cles. My advice is get a grip. Not only is no one going to behave the way you want them to, but they probably have no reason to do so. Here are a few rules I live by: 1. I have no control over anyone but me. 2. I raised my chil- dren the best way I knew. They are who I helped them become. I did what I could and don’t feel guilty about things they do. 3. If anyone annoys me with their gross habits, poor hygiene, rudeness or stupidity, I have the freedom to stay away from them. Life is too short (and too long) to make petti- ness and drama your regular routine. If Aunt Sarah constantly makes you angry, does she really need an invitation to dinner every month? Get a hobby so your mind doesn’t constantly grind away at the small annoyances in life. Look at the sky, smell the flowers, and listen to the children laughing. — Bingham- ton, N.Y. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast. net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. DEAR DR. GOTT: I have had an ear problem for approximately two years. My ear built up with fluid. A tube was inserted. Now my ear continues to drain a clear fluid, like when your nose runs. When I wake up, it is full of liquid. After turning over, it drains out. I have been to four doctors without any help. DEAR READER: Several things can cause chronic ear drainage, but without further details, I cannot begin to guess what the cause of yours may be. You don’t mention if you have any other symptoms. Why did your ear first build up with fluid? Did you have an ear infection? Do you have any loss of hear- ing? Pain? Is the fluid crystal clear, or is there some cloudiness to it? Is there any blood present or an odor? Which ear does it occur in, or does it affect both? Do you have headaches, dizziness or blurred vision? Do you have any skin disorders or other medical problems? Are you current- ly taking any medications — prescription, herbal or over-the-counter? Does it occur every day? Several times a day? Does any- thing make it better or worse? All of these are important questions that need to be answered before a proper diagnosis can be made and treatment provided. You also don’t mention what type of doctors you have been seeing. I assume that at least one was an ear-nose-and- throat specialist because a tube was insert- ed at the beginning of your symptoms. Have you seen other ENTs? A neurolo- gist? Internist or general practitioner? Have any of the four physicians done thor- ough examinations to include blood work and imaging studies, such as a CT scan or MRI of your head and neck? Because I don’t have the answers to any of these, I can only offer some general information about potential causes. The most common is wax. Earwax, however, is not clear. It is typically yellow or brown- ish. Another common cause is ear infec- tion. This can be chronic but is often asso- ciated with some degree of pain and yel- low, pus-like drainage. Some may experi- ence partial or total hearing loss in the affected ear. Allergies can be another cause. This is often seen with other allergy symptoms, such as nasal congestion and itchy, watery eyes. Allergies to metals, such as those present in earrings, can result in ear drainage not associated with seasonal or environmental allergies. These may pre- sent with ear redness, itching, swelling Dr. Peter Gott and/or a clear, watery discharge. Skin disorders, such as eczema, that affect the ear canal can also present in a similar manner. Tumors or cancer near the ear or within it can cause an ear dis- charge; however, this is rare and often is accompanied by ear pain and hearing loss. Finally, a CSF (cerebrospinal fluid) leak can be a cause. This, also, is rare and most often occurs because of trauma to the head. It often presents with headaches, dizziness and other distressing symptoms. As you can see, there are many causes, and the above are just a few. I suggest you seek out the help of an ear-nose-and-throat specialist, perhaps one associated with a teaching hospital or university, for a com- plete examination and testing. Bring any paperwork from your previous physicians. Be sure to provide a complete medical his- tory to include medications, previous surg- eries, illnesses, injuries and more. Also, you will need to give a thorough descrip- tion of the events preceding and during the beginning of your symptoms. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Ear Infections and Disorders.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newslet- ter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. DEAR DR. GOTT: This is in response to the writer diagnosed with GERD and a hiatal hernia who questioned taking omeprazole. Several years ago, I suffered with the same symptoms and the same diagnosis. Medication did not help me, and finally, after a CT scan, gallstones were discovered. I had laparoscopic surgery to remove my gallbladder and repair the hernia. I have not had any prob- lems since. DEAR READER: When gallstones form, they can cause a blockage that may cause bile to build up, leading to inflam- mation and/or pain. The pain can often be confused with that caused by stomach acid. Surgery to repair a hiatal hernia is fair- ly straightforward. Essentially, a portion of the stomach is wrapped around the hiatus in an attempt to strengthen the muscle and prevent the backwash of acid into the esophagus. I am pleased to hear of your continued success. Celebrity Soup Kitchen makes its Red Bluff debut Feb. 18 Special to the DN Coming to Tehama County at 5:30 p.m. Friday, Feb. 18, at the Elks Lodge is Tehama County's inaugural Celebrity Soup Kitchen to aid local senior volun- teers. What is this Soup Kitchen? Not what you might think. The event is hosted by Golden Umbrella and supported by busi- nesses, dignitaries, local restau- rants and numerous volunteers to raise money to help Tehama County senior volunteers. It promises to have all the ingredients for a great night out for the entire family — great food, music, raffles and relaxing with friends and neighbors while helping a great cause. “Tehama County has shown great support for its citizens and organizations who need support at various times, and that is a badge to be worn with pride,” says Jessica Cunningham, direc- tor of the Retired & Senior Vol- unteer Program (RSVP). Shasta County's Celebrity Soup Kitchen - Power to Seniors, hosted by the Older Adult Policy Council, provides funds to assist low-income seniors with assis- tance to pay their utility bills. Now, Golden Umbrella is pro- viding a venue to assist senior volunteers in Tehama County through its sponsorship of RSVP. “Generally, local celebrities in Tehama County participate in many events, however, these venues are usually limited to one or two dignitaries participating at any one time,” Cunningham said. “As you can imagine, we are thrilled that nearly a dozen local celebrities will be serving soup in support of volunteerism right here in Red Bluff,. Growing up in Red Bluff, it has always been clear in my mind that it takes a community of caring individuals to support the needs and the mis- sion of non-profits in our home- towns.” Patti Anglin, volunteer sup- port specialist for Tehama Coun- ty, has been the driving force to launch an event that draws on the power of local support. “We have truly been blessed with help from the local commu- nity, our celebrities and of course restaurants, volunteers and busi- nesses to launch a successful first year fundraiser supporting vol- unteers,” Anglin said. “Perhaps our biggest challenge has been the wind. Our Main and Pine Street banner has been waiting patiently to make an appear- ance.” More than a dozen soups will be offered by local restaurants and served by local celebrities, including: Jerry Crow, from Assemblyman Jim Nielson’s office; Bill Goodwin, Tehama County chief administrator; Linda Watkins-Bennett, Channel 12 News; Larry Champion, superintendent of schools; Bob Carrel, mayor of Red Bluff, For- rest Flynn, mayor pro tem of Red Bluff; Dennis Garton, supervi- sor; Dale Stroud, Tehama Coun- ty assessor; Chip Thompson, Daily News editor and many oth- ers. Tickets are $10 and can be purchased at the Red Bluff- Tehama County Chamber of Commerce or the Red Bluff RSVP Office at 528-4240. Tick- ets are also available at the door. The lodge is at 355 Gilmore Road. Tickets include a variety of soups, salad and bread donated by local businesses. Musical entertainment will be provided by Shingletown Bound (youth fiddlers), The Skillman Family and The Ice Cream Social. Many baskets will be available for the raffles. A no host bar will be pro- vided by the Elks Lodge. Proceeds benefit the Retired & Senior Volunteer Program, which provides volunteer oppor- tunities to adults 55 and older to assist non-profits in Tehama County. Tehama County’s Personal/Professional Service Directory Bankruptcy Attorney Local Bankruptcy Attorney Jocelyn C. Olander 530-824-0288 Free Consultation Payment Plans Available Web: www.jcoattyatlaw.com email: mail@jcoatty atlaw.com A federally qualified Debt Relief Agency under 11 U.S.C. 101(12(A)) Advertisement If this was your Service Directory ad customers would be reading it right now!! Call us at 527-2151 For more information AT YOUR SERVICE! $ 9900 3 month Clock Repair Eye Physician 530-736-7079 Grandpa’s Clocks Jim Paul 20910 Pebblestone Dr. Red Bluff Shelf & 31 Day Clocks Repaired Call for appt. Member NAWCC Cuckoo Clocks, Anniversary, Wall, Clock Repair James W. 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