Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/248497
8B Daily News – Saturday, January 25, 2014 Emails from an online dating site send red flags flying DEAR CAROLYN » I've been dating my wonderful boyfriend for almost two and a half years. We met online. I recently discovered that he (unlike me) has kept his online profile this entire time. I used his computer to look up a recipe since it was on the kitchen table, and I saw that he still receives emails from the site recommending matches — Carolyn and he reads Hax them! I don't Ask Carolyn believe he is actively using the site, and I know he's not cheating on me. We're very happy together. But am I wrong to be a little weirded out by this? — Online DEAR ONLINE » You are not "wrong" — or "right" — to be weirded out by this. It's a feeling based on a fact, and so denying or correcting yourself would be an early step in ignoring information just because it's negative. What matters now, and where "right" and "wrong" are valid, is what you do with the information. It would be wrong to come out, accusations blazing, and corner your boyfriend on the profile and the emails. There are just too many possible explanations for what you saw. The right thing would be to tell him you noticed these emails, tell him how you feel about it, and pay careful attention to the way he reacts — body language, emotions, words — and run it through the filter of what you know about him already. Then you decide whether this is something, and he is someone, you need to worry about. Approaching it with an open mind gives each of you the best chance to see what's actually happening here. If instead you jump to conclusions, you risk introducing anger and defensiveness, both of which are notorious for making the truth harder to express and detect. Saying you "know" someone is not cheating is also a mistake, because it, too, is a step toward closing your mind to negative information. You may be confident he's not cheating, or not worried that he's cheating, or comfortable with your ability to sense when someone is cheating, etc., but you don't "know." No one knows about anyone but themselves, and the sooner we get comfortable with that, the better we handle the vagaries of any relationship. DEAR CAROLYN » Re: Online: I am getting married tomorrow and both my fiance and I got emails today from the online service we met on. We have also gotten them several times a month for the past three years. He left his profile up, but stopped subscribing and has never logged on. I deleted mine, but still get emails. They appear as "read" because, when I click on it to delete it, I open the message. It could be innocent, so I would talk to him about it before jumping to conclusions. — Anonymous BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman Brian Crane PICKLES DEAR ANOYNMOUS » Just another reminder that context is everything. Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Darby Conley GET FUZZY Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey Answer to Previous Puzzle PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. Scott Adams DILBERT BIZARRO Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol SATURDAY, JAN. 25 Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Don't rock the boat today. You will have difficulty seeing eye-to-eye with others, so take some time to think about your future. Evaluate your motives. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Travel with the goal of acquiring knowledge or information that will be of use to you. A romantic experience will uplift you at just the right moment. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Financial opportunities will arise today. Develop your ideas and put your plans into action. Secret activities will have a very positive outcome. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Don't be fooled into thinking that your personal life is stable. Prepare to be interrogated about your whereabouts. Dan Piraro ARGYLE SWEATER Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Now is the time to implement dietary changes and a new exercise routine. It would also be a good idea to take measures to alleviate the stress in your life. Don't let anyone try to take advantage of you. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — It's a good day to tie up loose ends on lingering projects. If you get involved in something that gives you purpose, you will gain respect for your convictions. You will attract an admirer. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — You must keep a tight lid on your emotions today. Since you do not have all the facts, don't act hastily. A positive attitude will yield the best results. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Interactions may lead to romantic encounters. If you are already in a relationship, deepen the connection. Do a thorough reconnaissance about something or someone of interest. Scott Hilburn Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Re-evaluate how you want to proceed with the rest of your life. Consider your current position and focus on personal goals. Don't talk yourself out of following your dreams. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — You can have a good day as long as you avoid jumping to conclusions. Romance is possible if you aren't too possessive. If you stay positive and pleasant, you'll have fun and get results. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — You may be confused if you are out of the loop about what is going on in your circle. Don't let such a setback get to you. An older individual can help to improve your position. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Get involved in your community or volunteer for something that matters to you. New friendships can be made if you are outspoken at an event. NEA Crossword