Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/24428
2B – Daily News – Thursday, February 3, 2011 FEATURES Vituperative votary’s vindictive visits Addressing non-traumatic fractures Dear Annie: I am a 30-something woman and was in a relationship with another woman for two years. ‘‘Angie’’ was physically, emotionally and mentally abusive toward me. She decided Annie’s many times to break off our rela- tionship, but would then realize she missed me. She would e- mail, text, call, send letters, etc., until I gave in and we would date again. Then the abuse would start back up, and she would leave me again so I would be ‘‘safe.’’ This off-and-on-again busi- ness took almost as big a toll on my self-esteem and self-worth as the physical abuse. We currently have not Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar else. We had some good times, and she is someone I once loved deeply. I know I need to protect myself and my sanity, and yes, I am getting into counseling again. But I also feel sad- ness over losing the relationship. How can I stop feeling guilty for hurting her? — Confused Dear Confused: Many spoken in four months, but in the past three days, Angie has twice managed to be where I am. When I see her in unplanned ways like this, I have anxiety attacks. She knows it upsets me because she apologizes, even though she obviously is making it a point to be in my presence. I talked to my lawyer, and he is going to send her a threatening letter saying to refrain from all contact or a restraining order will be filed. Annie, I know this is the right thing to do, but since I made the decision, I feel guilty. I don’t want to hurt Angie. She has feel- ings the same as anyone abuse victims feel responsi- ble for both the happiness of the abuser and the suc- cess of the relationship, and when you take the neces- sary steps to extricate your- self, guilt is a common con- sequence. By deliberately putting herself in your path, Angie is attempting to manipulate those feelings and possibly win you back. We are glad you are getting back into counseling. It will help you realize that Angie’s feelings are no longer your concern. Dear Annie: My cousin and my best friend got into a major screaming match that almost came to blows. My cousin thinks ‘‘Josie’’ got her fired. I do not believe this is true. In addi- tion, they both think the other one hates them. I know my cousin is jeal- ous of the time I spend with Josie, and vice versa. Also, they both have fairly strong personalities and are highly opinionated. The problem is, we are all booked to go on a two-week vacation together next summer, part of it on a cruise ship. I’m trying to stay out of the middle. It is their fight, after all, and getting too involved will only make things worse. But I don’t want my only vacation to be full of stress and misery. How do I handle this? — Torn in Two Dear Torn: Summer is several months away, and the two of them might rec- oncile. They don’t want their vacation ruined, either. It also might be worth losing a deposit to cancel or reschedule your reservation. If no one can get out of the trip, however, please take some consola- tion in knowing that vaca- tions, including cruises, offer a lot of space to avoid people who drive you batty. Dear Annie: As some- one involved with the American Cancer Society and the Relay For Life, it breaks my heart to know people are not considered ‘‘survivors’’ because they didn’t receive radiation or chemo. Getting the cancer out of your body makes you a survivor no matter what. My mother recently had a procedure where a mole and some extra skin were taken from her stomach because of melanoma. All those who have beaten can- cer, in whatever form, are survivors in my eyes. Stand proudly. There are those of us who cheer for you. — Survivor Supporter DEAR DR. GOTT: I have been taking Boniva for almost five years. Could I or should I stop now? I’ve heard there is some discussion about this. I’m 74. Your opinion, please. DEAR READER: Boniva is prescribed to slow bone loss, increase bone mass, and treat or prevent osteoporosis in women, a condition in which bones become thin, weaken, and are subject to easy frac- ture. Dr. Peter Gott The Food and Drug Administration issued a warning to physicians and their patients on Oct. 14, 2010, regarding an increased risk of bone fractures of the thigh with bone- strengthening bisphosphonates such as Boniva, Fosamax and Actonel. The report went on to indicate it remains unclear whether drugs in the category trigger thigh fractures, but because of the potential connection, labeling now warns of the possibility. It is under- stood an individual who falls or is in an automobile accident might experi- ence a fracture, but these findings sug- gest breaks without any degree of trauma involved. Rarely, osteonecro- sis (destruction and death of bone tis- sue) of the jaw has been linked to bis- phosphonate use. At this stage, there are no guide- lines as to how long a patient should remain on the drugs, but the FDA stat- ed the fractures “may be related to the use of bisphosphonates for longer than five years, but patients should continue treatment unless directed otherwise by their physician.” My guess is that you have under- gone testing such as a DEXA (dual energy X-ray absorptiometry) that measures the density of bones in areas most commonly affected by osteo- porosis. Other tests less commonly used include computerized tomogra- phy (CT) or ultrasound sonography, which utilize high-frequency sound waves to view internal structures. If it is time for another X-ray, your physi- cian can determine whether the Boni- va is working for you. If both of you feel it’s time for a change, ask whether 1,500 milligrams of calcium combined with 600 IU of vitamin D might be an appropriate substitute. This is a tough call only you and your prescribing physician can agree upon. To provide related informa- tion, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Osteo- porosis.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. DEAR DR. GOTT: I am 89 and in good health, but I no longer have a sense of smell. Can it be restored? DEAR READER: The answer depends on the cause. Some causes result in temporary loss, while others, unfortunately, result in permanent loss. If you have had a recent cold, sinus infection or hay fever, the condition will likely clear on its own within a reasonable period of time. If you suf- fer from nasal polyps, a tumor or nasal deformity, surgical correction may be necessary to remove the lesions or correct the abnormality and may restore your sense of smell. Medical conditions such as diabetes, Hunting- ton’s disease or hormonal distur- bances should be ruled out. Speak with your primary-care physician for his or her opinion. If you don’t meet with success, request a referral to an otolaryngologist (ear- nose-and-throat specialist), who can help you sort through this annoying problem. Good luck. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Adobe Rd. Chevron Fresh Cooked CRABS Cooking Fresh Crab 2 DAYS A WEEK • “Freshest CRABS in Red Bluff” • Cleaning of Crab Free! Every Crab sold $1.00 donated to a local charity Price & availability depending on weather. 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