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6B Daily News – Friday, January 17, 2014 Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it DEAR CAROLYN » I always wanted kids, but fate and life being as they are, I managed to get to my early 40s with no husband or children. Not from lack of trying, I assure you. Three months ago I started seeing a nice guy. He has potential. But I feared he'd go the way so many had: dating for a while then moving on. This time I Carolyn was deterHax mined to at Ask Carolyn least try to get something of what I want, so I did what I never thought I'd do. I lied when he asked if I was taking birth control. My bad luck coupled with the pure statistical improbability of it all really led me to believe I had little to no chance of getting pregnant. Well, I'm looking at a positive pregnancy test. How do I tell this man I barely know that I lied to him and hey, sorry but I'm about to torpedo your life? And the worst part is that what I thought would be the happiest day of my life is making me want to cry and throw up. I've made a huge mess and I don't know how to fix it. I think I just didn't realize until right now how badly I wanted the whole whitepicket-fence thing, too. — Just Sick You thought you wanted a baby above all. You learned, through your terrible lie and surprise fertility, that the "above all" was wrong — you actually didn't want a baby at the cost of your integrity. So now you live with what you learned: From now on, it's integrity first. You start by making an appointment with a reputable therapist, since you need to figure out when and why you let emotions push your judgment off a cliff. That's the surest path toward keeping it from happening again. Also, you've just become rudely acquainted with what a bad person you're capable of being. You're hardly the first to have such an awakening — arguably everyone will, or should, over the course of a lifetime — but it's not an easy thing to live with. Having someone to guide you through it can help. Next, you tell the nice guy that you are pregnant, DEAR JUST SICK » and also lied about birth control. You tell him why. You tell him how wrong you were — that you were self-indulgent without any regard for the consequences to him. You tell him you are prepared to absorb as many of the consequences as you can, including that of raising this child entirely on your own. You tell him you're seeking therapy. If you care about him as a person and not just as a squandered potential picket fencing contractor, then say that, too. But don't if you don't. (See "Integrity first," above.) Stay this honest course, and you will be a better, more self-aware, more compassionate person than you were before you sunk to deceit. It will make you a better mom. I realize how perverse that is for me to say, but there's no getting what we want; we all get what we get. Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman Brian Crane PICKLES Darby Conley GET FUZZY Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey Answer to Previous Puzzle PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. Scott Adams DILBERT BIZARRO Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol FRIDAY, JAN. 17 Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Keep a close watch on your situation today. Not everyone will play by the same rules. There is a good reason for your uncertainty — tread carefully. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Get whatever is troubling you out in the open. Discuss your thoughts, plans and intentions. The more direct you are, the surer you will become of the path you have chosen. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — You will not see your situation clearly. Don't be fooled by compliments or someone using gestures of friendliness to ferret out personal information. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Accept the inevitable, but don't initiate change. Keep your eyes wide open and listen for any Dan Piraro ARGYLE SWEATER changes that might affect your status or your position. Help your peers and form beneficial alliances. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Broach personal subjects with caution. Showing compassion and understanding will help you ease into a situation that has the potential to turn emotional. Be willing to compromise. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Deal with a fraught situation. Make changes or offer assistance, and things will be easier when you need a favor or aid in return. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Get together with someone you love. Sharing stories will help you build a closer bond, as well as enlighten you regarding your family or cultural background. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Don't let added responsibilities get you down. The more quickly you get your chores out of the way, the sooner you will be able Scott Hilburn to enjoy a change of pace and space. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Find out all you can about things that interest you. Listening to what others have to say will give you a wide variety of options to consider and pursue. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — You may be forced to jump from one thing to another. Don't dillydally or you will be criticized for being indecisive. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Stay out of emotional talks that you cannot win. Concentrate on learning about new people, places and pastimes. An interest in an unusual lifestyle will prompt domestic alterations. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Consider making a personal investment or improvement to your home and your surroundings. A change in the way you live will inspire you to alter your vocational direction. NEA Crossword