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2B Daily News – Thursday, January 16, 2014 Woman contemplates leaving marriage for an old f lame DEAR CAROLYN » I have two loves — how do I forget one? Before last Thursday, I was happily married with no intentions of ever leaving or straying. Then I went camping with a group of friends (but not my husband), and a night of deep conversation with a close friend led to three nights of cuddling and kissing Carolyn with some Hax sexual activAsk Carolyn ity, but not intercourse. I have loved this man for 10 years but kept up a wall because I never thought he'd feel the same way. He is also averse to relationships due to his family history, so I stayed with my sure thing — my now-husband. Since we've taken this leap, I can't stop thinking about what might have been. The friend and I have agreed that I should not leave my husband, but I fear this man is the love of my life and that I can never be truly honest with my husband again. How do I reconcile my fears with what must be my future? — Q. This man is no "friend." He is a shiny bit of foil you mistook for precious metal, someone who enjoyed your affection with no regard for your unwitting husband or for what it would cost you, and with no intention of making more than a weekend of it. That's what "averse to relationships" means. So you don't have "two loves." You have one love and one, I dunno, bottle of something intoxicating that you had forgotten about but recently and very unfortunately stumbled across last weekend. What you say to your husband, if anything, is a complicated question that you need to put aside until the feelings churned up by your weekend have settled a bit. How you look at your marriage, though, is something you can start taking on now: There's no "must be" when it comes to your future, except that you're in it. Everything else involves some degree of choice. To include this other guy in any way in your choices about your marriage — "the friend and I have agreed that I should not leave my husband"?! — is such a stunning insult DEAR Q. » to your husband that it arguably eclipses your campground canoodling as the worst crime against your marriage committed last weekend. The only thing this other man gets to decide is whether he's interested in you and what he wants to do about that. Whether you stay in your marriage or leave it is about no one but you and your husband, and up to no one but you two. If you can't get your mind and heart back around to seeing this, then I'm not sure staying married is the best thing for your husband. I urge you to find a good therapist, stat, and start talking. Please at least see that you were duped: A man leveraged your attraction to him for sack time. He's a louse, not a love. Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman Brian Crane PICKLES Darby Conley GET FUZZY Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey Answer to Previous Puzzle PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. Scott Adams DILBERT BIZARRO Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol THURSDAY, JAN. 16 Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Listen carefully, but don't allow your emotions to sway you in one direction or another. It would be better to mediate, rather than participate, in an unwinnable debate. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Show everyone how capable you are. A proposal will bring in extra cash and change the way you live. Don't let a secret affair cause emotional grief. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — You can make your dreams come true with a little time and effort. Join organizations that share your interests and expertise. A special person should be treated to a romantic evening. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Your changing or inconsistent attitude will cause disruptions Dan Piraro ARGYLE SWEATER with the people you deal with personally and professionally. Think twice before you make a sudden move. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Relax, and enjoy friends and family. Make personal changes that will keep you up to date mentally and physically. A pleasurable trip will entice you, but caution while traveling will be essential. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Set your goals high, and get ready for action. Consultation with experts will enable you to cut corners and reach your destination quickly. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — If you feel uncertain, step back and observe. The more information you gather, the easier it will be to make a tough choice. Refuse to get upset about matters you cannot change. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — An emotional matter will skyrocket if you don't control the Scott Hilburn situation. Prepare to make lastminute changes. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Take steps to ensure that things go the way you plan. Don't leave anything to chance, and take steps to correct any situation that you feel has the potential to head in the wrong direction. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Too much, too fast leads to disaster. Watch what everyone else is doing and protect your interests. Empty promises can be expected. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Let your imagination take over. Take a look at your friendships, lifestyle and home base. An unconventional arrangement will inspire you to be more adventuresome. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — An investment opportunity may look like a sure thing, but look before you leap. You aren't likely to have all the facts. Don't take a risk. NEA Crossword