Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/235767
Thursday, January 2, 2014 – Daily News Age difference isn't an issue unless you make it one My sister just turned 21 and has just started dating a 30-yearold. I think the relationship is inappropriate given the age difference, but when I bring it up with her, she becomes defensive and the conversation almost always ends with one of us hanging up on the other. To add a little context, she met this man at college. They Carolyn are both Hax undergraduAsk Carolyn ates, but he has previously been in the military and is getting his degree at an older age. Am I right to be suspicious of an older gentleman's intentions, or am I overreacting? How can I approach this productively with my sister? — Anonymous DEAR CAROLYN » DEAR ANONYMOUS » (1) Overreacting; (2) Bite your tongue. She's 21. Stop hovering, stop thinking you can or should cushion her world for her, and go to the window to say hello to 2014. "An older gentleman's intentions"? Click. DEAR CAROLYN » Recently my husband and I and our two young kids settled about equal distance from my and his parents, about two hours away in different directions. His parents say, oh we'll get all this baby stuff for our house to make it easy for you to visit! My parents say, why should we get stuff for our house when you're not here very often? Not that I expect either set to go out of the way for us, we are capable of traveling with what we need. But the attitude extends to the visits themselves: His parents have kid-friendly food, wake up early to play with the kids, etc., while mine sleep in late (so we feel we have to keep quiet), don't buy anything extra, don't do much playing. They are very different people, I get it, and honestly I have a fine, but distant relationship with my parents while my husband is very close with his. My mom notices how much more time we spend with my in-laws, and I'm not sure what to say. I enjoy spending time with them a lot more than with my parents, and so do my kids. We do split our time at holidays and major events equally. Any advice 3B BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman on how to handle my mom's hostility over this? — Unequal DEAR UNEQUAL » Tell her the truth. "Mom, I love you and want you to be closer to the kids, but this is a practical move on our part: The in-laws' home is very young-kid friendly, and yours is not. I respect your choice, and expect we'll correct any visiting imbalances as the kids get older. I'm taking the long view here." Then: "If you're not OK with that, then I'm happy to talk about ways we can start shifting it now." Mention equipment, kid food, early wake-ups, willingness to play. She says, "Why equip the house if you don't come"? You say, "We'll come if you equip the house." If she balks at accommodating you, then suggest correcting the imbalance with having them visit you more. Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Brian Crane PICKLES Darby Conley GET FUZZY Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey Answer to Previous Puzzle PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. Scott Adams DILBERT BIZARRO Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Share your ideas with people who can help you to succeed. Focus on making shrewd business decisions. Hard work will be rewarded in the end. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Expect to give as much as you get. Solidify a partnership that will improve your future. Participating in clubs or organizations will lead to opportunity. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — You are likely to feel unfulfilled if you haven't put your needs first. Consider changes that you can make to improve your attitude. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Don't be tempted to join exclusive clubs that will cost you top dollar. If you've been flaky recently, an argument is likely. You will need to make concessions to make amends. Dan Piraro ARGYLE SWEATER Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Remain impervious to irritations. There is no reason to argue. Stay positive and focus on productivity. You will receive as much as you contribute. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — If you want a job done, do it yourself. Take initiative and work independently. A personal connection may turn out to be shallow. Before taking it too far, ask questions. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Don't walk on eggshells around a certain someone. Be honest, and clear the air. You need to decisively move forward while feeling good. You don't need to change your values to accommodate someone unworthy. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — There is much to anticipate in the new year. You have ideas that can become lucrative if you act now. It's time to implement changes. Rearranging your furniture may be a start. Scott Hilburn Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — That little extra effort will make all the difference in terms of a hobby or your work. Don't be pressured into spending more than you can afford. If you stick to a budget, you will benefit. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Don't allow anyone to aggravate you today. Think carefully about what you really want. Stop waffling and make a decision so that you may move forward. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — No one else should be dictating what you should do. Be prepared to defend your point of view. If you don't take control of your life this year, it will be your own fault. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Take a careful and honest look at your finances. Don't bother gambling today. There will be ample opportunity to make money this year, but foolish or reckless decisions will lead to losses. NEA Crossword