Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/235530
6B Daily News – Wednesday, January 1, 2014 Woman's past heartbreak prevents her from moving on DEAR CAROLYN » After a few weeks of really hitting it off with a girl (late-20s, I'm mid-30s), our dating came to a sudden halt after she discovered I had a piece of furniture she had bought for her exhusband (which I promptly got rid of). Further, I had mentioned that the man who sold it to me might have been flirting with me when I Carolyn bought it. Hax As it turns Ask Carolyn out, she left him 18 months ago due to her suspicions about his preferences. I realize the weirdness of the coincidence, and that it stoked up hurtful memories of her (only) relationship. But this was her chance to make new amazing memories to replace the old bad ones. I've given her a few weeks of space, but now I want to reach out to her, even just to get to know her better. She's very inexperienced at dating, rushes through life without allowing herself to really "feel" things anymore, and states that she is "broken in terms of men." So there are a lot of underlying issues, but beneath them I see a gold mine of an amazing woman. How should I approach this? — Furniture DEAR FURNITURE » As a bullet dodged? If she's a gold mine, then that makes you the miner of her gold, and I'm fundamentally uncomfortable with that. People can encourage us, inspire us, bring out our best, teach us by example — along with a bunch of these things in the negative — but our gifts are our own to mine, or ignore, as we see fit. We're no one's project but our own. Just survey people who chose partners based on their "potential" on how that worked out for them. She is who she is. Right now, that happens to be broken, numb, lashed by painful memories. If I'm wrong and she's in fact "amazing," then she will identify her own chaos and work hard to get herself well. When she's stronger, and if she's as impressed by you as you were by her, she'll know where to find you. In the meantime, was that furniture a par- BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman ticularly nice piece? You might want to see about buying it back. DEAR CAROLYN » When someone I know shares something unfortunate — "I have a cold," or "My car broke down" — I will say, "I'm sorry." More often than not, the person will look a little flustered and say, "Oh, it's not your fault!" Obviously it's not my fault, unless I passed along germs or broke their car — which, for the record, I'm pretty sure I haven't done. Should people not say "I'm sorry" in these situations? — I'm Beginning to Develop a Complex Brian Crane PICKLES I'm sorry to hear that. I mean, that's what you say to them: affixing "... to hear that" helps bridge little cultural gaps. DEAR BEGINNING » Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Darby Conley GET FUZZY Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey Answer to Previous Puzzle PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. Scott Adams DILBERT BIZARRO Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Seek closure by communicating with those who have upset you. You can make positive changes if you clear the air. If you fail to sort out personal problems, your future will stall. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Awkwardness will ensue if you allow others to blame you. Begin this year by setting the record straight. Be strong and take a stance. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Don't allow others to leave you holding the bag. Avoid indulgent forms of entertainment. Instead, relax and prepare for the year to come. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Get the year off to a good start. Carefully plan how to get ahead. Make use of your talents. As soon as you get the chance, confidently share your ideas. Dan Piraro ARGYLE SWEATER Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Reflect on your past, and make it your mission to avoid repeating mistakes. Treat other people as you wish to be treated. Focus on empathy. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Things will go smoothly today. Love is on the rise, and you will have plenty of choices. If you are already in a relationship, plan a romantic evening. If not, get out on the town. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Don't be afraid to lead. You will be admired for your skills if you get involved in family projects. Someone may express jealousy toward you. Ignore any negativity, and continue to offer your support. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Socialize with friends and relatives. Be candid with your opinions, but prepare to be accountable. If you can let go of the past, you will have an easier time moving forward. Scott Hilburn Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Deal with any issues that have been hanging over you. Reflect on past experiences to avoid getting caught in a vicious cycle. You need stability, and you can only find it by letting go. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Don't be tempted by a dubious scheme. Try to start the year on the right foot. Hold out for better opportunities. Travel is likely to result in frustrating delays. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Overindulgence is likely to cause you problems today. Don't lend money to friends or take on responsibilities that aren't yours. You must take care of your own needs first. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Begin planning for the new year. Put your ideas on paper so that you're ready for the future to arrive. Don't allow personal setbacks to interfere with your goals. NEA Crossword