Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/235068
2D Daily News – Tuesday, December 31, 2013 Friend's recollection of man's behavior may not be accurate DEAR CAROLYN » My friend "Emily" dated "Andy" a few years ago. They broke up spectacularly. Emily has always said that Andy was the most controlling and insecure boyfriend she has ever had, which always surprised me because that does not come across. Andy and I have gotten close over the years and have recently been on a few Carolyn dates. Emily Hax has moved Ask Carolyn on and is fine with it, but it really bugs me that I feel like I'm waiting for these negative traits to appear. Is this something I should talk to him about, or do I just discount Emily's opinion? — D.C. Seems to me there's a lot Emily can say that will be useful to you. For example, did she see these traits in Andy early, or did they emerge as things got serious? Were there signs she didn't recognize at the time but that his later behavior explained? Were there specific triggers? Dig a bit to see if they had mismatch issues versus an Andy-is-bad issue. Also, how reliable is Emily as a judge of character? I realize some people might recoil at such kiss-and-tell recon, but "controlling and insecure" are serious stuff. Yes, you have your eyes open, that's good, but borrowing a map would just be smart. As for talking to Andy about it, I don't think you blurt, "Emily said this and I'm wondering if it's true." That could make Andy defensive. Better to talk about life, love and hypotheticals, and see who both of you reveal yourselves to be. Listen to the way he talks about his exes. Are they all crazy? Is everything their fault? And, in general, is he a blamer, a perfectionist, a person of strong preferences? DEAR D.C. » My housemate and dear friend just got very bad news about his mother — cancer returning, this time advanced. I've been following his lead in terms of bringing it up, etc. What, in your own experience, was most helpful? I don't want to ignore it or make it dominate our DEAR CAROLYN » BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman conversation, and don't want to make a "sympathy face" all the time. Any thoughts? — Anonymous DEAR ANONYMOUS » You can be really helpful by just absorbing some dayto-day hassles. Cover some of his chores, grocery shop for two versus one, add an errand of his to your list. You can also offer distractions, since those can be just as useful as sympathy, depending on his need. Get used to the phrasing, "I'm going to [blank]; want to come along/can I get you anything?" My own bad-news experience, at least, was that sometimes I needed to circulate, and sometimes I needed to go fetal and screen calls, and the people I appreciated most are the ones who offered concrete things and didn't take "no" personally. Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Brian Crane PICKLES Darby Conley GET FUZZY Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey Answer to Previous Puzzle PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. Scott Adams DILBERT BIZARRO Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — You will have extra discipline today, so you should be off to a good start. Make careful plans, and network with people who can be helpful. Don't be afraid to go your own way. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Allow yourself to think big. Make a point of being social, and you will have a chance to meet someone who will help you reach your goals. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Re-examine your strategy before you head down the wrong path. Although you will have great stamina, your tendency will be to overdo things. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Prepare to enjoy a spectacular event. Take the time to make everything perfect. It's best to approach the new year with optimism. Be confident. Dan Piraro ARGYLE SWEATER Taurus (April 20-May 20) — You may feel vulnerable, but a change in attitude is all that is needed to turn things around. Think carefully about what you want and what you need. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — This will be a memorable time. Opportunities will be vast. You should be able to pick and choose from an array of options. The only rule is to follow through on your aims. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — With high energy and fervent spirits, you are prepared to enjoy the wonder of life. Although you face changes, this year promises to reward you for all your hard work and tough sacrifices. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Nothing can get in the way of having fun. It's time to cut loose and celebrate the past and the future. Things are beginning to heat up in your life, so enjoy the sizzle. Scott Hilburn Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — It's best to take a rest today. Overdoing it will lead to setbacks. Don't be misled by others. Use your intuition and make independent choices. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — A shrewd change will help you follow your dreams. Make a resolution that you will be able to uphold. It's a busy time, and you should be at your best. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Acknowledging that you are reaching the end of a cycle will prepare you for the future. Make an effort to focus on your finances. Don't repeat the cash flow crises you've experienced in the past. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — You'll be able to charm others with ease. Attending events may lead to opportunities for romance. The new year will be a time of reinvention. Invest in your goals with an open mind. NEA Crossword