Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/23358
Wednesday, January 19, 2011 – Daily News – 5A Curious cuckold confesses Talk about a pain in the neck Dear Annie: I am a 36-year-old husband and father, married for four years. Two years ago, I caught my wife cheating on me. I was willing to forgive her for the sake of our children. But lately, our mar- riage seems to have fallen into that dark alley again. My wife is always on Face- book or buried in her cell phone, texting. She won’t tell me with whom. Every time I dare peek at what she is doing, she goes immediately on the defen- sive. I confronted her about how shady she has been, and she assures me it’s nothing to be concerned about. Well, time, aggra- vation and arguments have turned me into someone I don’t like. I logged into her Facebook account and checked out her private messages. I discovered she’s been talking to some guy behind my back. It’s not an affair, but there is defi- nite flirting. I haven’t told her what I know. Should I? Was I wrong to snoop? Help. — Distrustful Dear Distrustful: Although we don’t rec- ommend snooping, it is understandable when your wife has given you reason to suspect her and has a history to back it up. Tell her what you found, and apologize for going behind her back. When someone has had an affair, that person needs to be completely transparent in every aspect of the rela- tionship, or trust cannot be regained. Your wife is Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar putting your mar- riage at risk by being dishonest about her contact with other men. Insist that she accompany you for counseling, and see if you can work on this together. Dear Annie: My husband and I have large breed dogs. Four of them are well behaved and nice to be around. The fifth is a nightmare. ‘‘Buddy’’ con- stantly attacks our other dogs and has caused minor injuries. I have spoken to three different trainers and have tried everything. I want to have Buddy relocated to another home. He is not a bad dog. He just does not fit into our pack. My hus- band has only recently decided to take this seri- ously and is now deter- mined to keep this dog. But last night, Buddy attacked our St. Bernard, and in the process, I was knocked over and bitten. I’m done. We are expecting our first child soon, and Buddy is clearly a risk. How do I convince my husband of this without getting divorced? — Illi- nois Dear Illinois: Even well-behaved dogs can develop jealousy toward a new baby. Although Buddy may be trainable, it’s unlikely you will accomplish that before the baby arrives, and your child’s safety must come first. Your husband is doing Buddy no favors by insisting he fit in with your family when he might do better and be happier elsewhere. Don’t wait for a tragedy. Please relocate Buddy immedi- ately. FEATURES DEAR DR. GOTT: I am an Dear Annie: I was amazed to see the letter from ‘‘Daughter-in-Law in Hawaii,’’ whose moth- er-in-law smells like mothballs. A few years back, my sisters and I noticed that my mother reeked of mothballs. When we told her to take the coat to the cleaners, she was shocked. She said she thought the smell of mothballs showed people you were well off enough to be able to take care of your woolens. She told us she always stuck a few mothballs in her pockets in winter so she could be proud of her clean scent. When we explained that this was not the case, she was so glad we told her. Soon after I married, I noticed that my mother- in-law had a strong under- arm odor. I begged my husband to tell her, but he wouldn’t. When she later got a part-time job, her boss took her aside. She called me, crying, and demanded to know why we hadn’t said anything. It took a long time for her to forgive us for failing her. People should be told the truth before they are embarrassed and humili- ated in public. — Califor- nia Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.n et, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. 84-year-old female living in an assisted-living facility. I suffer from spinal stenosis, which has left me in a lot of pain since getting out of the hospital. The facility provides good care, but I remain in pain. Will it contin- ue, or can I expect some relief? DEAR READER: Spinal stenosis is a narrowing of a portion of the spine that causes pain, weakness and paresthe- sias, primarily of the neck, lower back, shoulders, arms or legs. Depending which nerves are affected, bladder and/or bowel difficulties might also occur and can lead to incontinence. Causes include the aging process, traumatic injury, tumors (both benign and cancerous) and birth defects. Age- related deterioration can cause osteoarthritis, disk degeneration and ligaments that become thicker. Trau- matic injury can occur as a result of an automobile accident or a fall. Tumors can form within the spinal cord or within the space between the cord and vertebrae. As tumors enlarge, they can compress the cord and nerve roots, resulting in pain. Abnormalities from birth defects are often evident early on. The condition can be difficult to diagnose because so many symptoms resemble those of other age-related conditions. CT and the contrast dye used will show the shape and size of the spinal canal, revealing possible tumors, bone spurs or herniated disks; however, MRI remains the diagnostic tool of choice. With this testing, dam- age to ligaments and disks, tumors, pressure areas on the spinal cord or nerves and cross-section views of the spine can be obtained. I am unaware whether a fall or other trauma resulted in your hospital- ization, but you likely underwent CT or MRI for confirmation. You didn’t indicate whether you have been pre- scribed any medication or not. Your physician might have started you on over-the-counter pain relievers. More powerful narcotics that, unfortunately, can become habit-forming might have followed the OTCs. As I have indicat- ed on many occasions, some medica- tions for unrelated conditions, such as anti-seizure and antidepressant medications, have been used successfully to reduce pain levels caused by nerve dam- age. Dr. Peter Gott If you haven’t already tapped into the system, your local hospital’s physical-thera- py department can direct you through a series of exercises to help build up your strength and keep you as limber as pos- sible while reducing your pain level. When all else fails and your quality of life is compromised, surgery might be the next appropriate option. In the interim, you might find relief from weight loss if appropriate and applying a heat or cold pack. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Managing Chronic Pain.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-01667. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. DEAR DR. GOTT: I am a 63-year- old woman who is trying to lose 20 pounds. I’m 5 feet 7 inches and weigh 155 pounds. I feel I am at least 25 pounds overweight. I exercise daily and eat healthy fruits and vegetables, but no flour or sugar. I consume 1,200 calories each day and cannot lose a pound. DEAR READER: It sounds as though you are doing all the right things. I recommend you visit your physician for some routine lab work and a review of your medical history to determine whether a thyroid condi- tion, prescription medication or other medical disorder might be to blame. It might not be your fault at all, just an undiscovered anomaly. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. The busiest local information website in Tehama County! • 331,929 monthly page views • 48,644 unique visitors 2450 Sister Mary Columba Drive, Suite F Red Bluff • (530) 527-0414 GARY’S AUTO BODY & 24 HOUR TOWING, INC. 13540 Trinity Ave, Red Bluff (530) 527-8262 • (530) 528-8261 IF NO ANSWER CALL 529-7400 www.garysautobodyandtowing.com GROWNEY MOTORS 1160 Main Street, Red Bluff (530) 527-1034 22805 Antelope Blvd. in Red Bluff www.redbluffyamaha.com • (530) 527-1466 ATTORNEY AT LAW 741 Main Street, Ste 102,Red Bluff, Ca 96080 (530) 528-2000 dirvinish@yahoo.com DAN IRVING Please support these merchants that support RedBluffDailyNews.com INTERCITY BODY & PAINT 1355 Vista Way, Red Bluff, by the Airport (530) 529-2040 RANDAL ELLOWAY DDS, INC. 2426 So. Main St., Red Bluf (530) 527-6777 345 So. Main Street, Red Bluff (530) 527-4588 22755 Antelope Blvd. Red Bluff, CA 96080 (530) 527-9166 St. Elizabeth Community Hospital A member of CHW 1375 Montgomery Rd, Red Bluff (530) 529-0797 I-5 at Liberal Avenue in Corning (530) 528-3500 www.rollinghillscasino.com 2550 Sister Mary Columba Dr., Red Bluff (530) 529-8000 www.redbluff.mercy.org