Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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And They Live Stupidly Ever After Frozen (Rated PG) by HEATHER GRIFFITHS Before I dive into the mess that is the feature film, there is a Mickey and Minnie Mouse short to start us off, "Get a Horse." There are some nifty animation tricks but the plot left something to be desired. I mean, what is Peg-Leg Pete (who I believe is a dog) going to do with Minnie Mouse once he successfully kidnaps her? Why does Minnie insist on screaming her head off and waiting to be rescued instead of stabbing Pete in the eye with her ridiculously spiky shoe? Director Lauren MacMullen gets all Purple Rose of Cairo on the cartoon, having the characters run in and out of holes in the screen of an old fashioned black and white cartoon into "reality," but I was underwhelmed. Maybe I'm getting cynical in my old age. Maybe the darker side of the Hans Christian Andersen crept through despite numerous rewrites and repeated passage through the Walt Disney blender. Maybe I was just in an exceedingly bad mood when I sat down to watch Frozen (109 minutes). Whatever the cause, I walked away pretty disgusted with the writers. I enjoy Disney "princess" movies and I like Disney musicals. The Disney-fication of The Little Mermaid softened the Andersen original just as much as Frozen tries to soften "The Ice Queen." For some reason I found changing the story of Ariel from walking as if on knives and broken glass and killing the prince at the end to her living happily ever after more acceptable than the changes made to this story. I get that there are things to recommend in this version and the singing is sweet and there are awesome rock trolls and the anthropomorphized reindeer is adorable and the talking snowman is, too. But also: the so-called Snow Queen (Idina Menzel) is a sociopath. The ice trader Kristoff (Jonathan Groff) is suffering from some sort of dissociative disorder, and the King (Maurice LaMarche) and Queen are idiots. Elsa, future Snow Queen, was born with the ability to create ice and snow. Her sister Anna (Kristen Bell) is prone to waking her up in the middle of the night and looking for trouble. One night, Elsa accidentally hits Anna in the head with her 18 UCW DEC. 18-24, 2013 ice power, knocking her out and putting a skunk stripe in her bright red hair. The King and Queen dash off to meet with the Troll King (Ciarán Hinds). And here is why they are stupid. The Troll King's big plan is to remove Anna's memories of Elsa's powers because that will somehow fix the problem that Elsa has increasingly powerful, uncontrollable freeze magic. That's some stellar parenting, right there. They even sing a song about how Elsa shouldn't feel, she should conceal. Where are Yoda and Dumbledore when the kingdom of Arendelle so clearly needs them! So, having successfully taught their eldest daughter and heir to the throne to push all her emotions into a tiny crevice of her soul, the King and Queen take off for parts unknown and, (Spoiler Alert) die. This leaves Elsa to emotionally abuse her younger sister by isolating her and refusing to allow any "people" into the palace. See, they have servants, but servants don't count as people because modern Disney movies do not celebrate the 99 percent. Or so we can assume, after hearing Anna sing about how lonely she is and never has anyone to talk to and doesn't even get to go to O-Town concerts to meet boys who could be her friends. Finally, the day of the coronation arrives. Anna goes mad from the shock of seeing people and Elsa, who kept it together through almost killing her sister and the death of her parents finally flips out because Anna takes her glove. Then Elsa runs off into the woods, leaving Arendelle a frozen mess while she constructs an ice palace and some new slutty dresses to symbolize her freedom from the patriarchy, or class constraints, or compulsory heterosexuality or something. The end, followed by an after credits scene. Now showing at Wynnsong 7, Carmike 12 and Carmike Market Fair 15. HEATHER GRIFFITHS, Contributing Writer. COMMENTS? Editor@upandcomingweekly.com. WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM