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2B – Daily News – Monday, January 10, 2011 FEATURES Disrespectful daughter draining dollars Sarcoidosis affects organs Dear Annie: My wife and I are in our mid-60s. For most of our lives, we have done pretty well, but lately we’ve had financial difficulties because our incomes have been signifi- cantly decreased while our debt has not. My health is failing, and I don’t know how much longer I can con- tinue to work. During the good times, the unit to be occupied rent- free. Annie’s Mailbox we allowed our daughter and her husband to move into the second unit of the duplex we own. We charged minimal rent, which they soon stopped paying altogether. They don’t work and do nothing to help around the house. They help themselves to our food without telling us, so when we go to the refrigerator, it is often empty. They have trashed their living space, and I need to get them out so I can get some rent coming in. When I tell them about my finan- cial situation, their response is, ‘‘It’s not our problem.’’ When I say they must move out, they tell me what an evil person I am. I don’t know how to end this without totally destroy- ing what little family we have left. Any ideas? — Slowly Drowning in Culver City Dear Culver City: Your daugh- ter and her husband are freeloaders who are taking advantage of your reluctance to throw them out. Where does your wife stand on this? You two need to present a united front when you inform your daughter that you can no longer afford to allow BCS Continued from page 1B sub in those situations.’’ Oregon’s mission on defense is to try and become the first team to stop Newton, who has the body of a line- backer — 6-foot-6, 250 pounds — but the skills of a top running back and quar- terback. He averages 108 yards rushing a game, completes 67 percent of his passes and has accounted for 49 touch- downs — 21 running and 28 passing. After he passed for 335 yards and four touch- downs and ran for two more scores in a 56-17 blowout of South Carolina in the SEC title game, Spurrier, the Gamecocks coach, said a 60- 55 score was a possibility in the title game. ‘‘You have by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar If they are willing to pay a reasonable rent, they can stay. Otherwise, give them a deadline to move out. Offer to help them find jobs and another place to live. If you can afford it, you could even donate something toward their expenses until they get settled in elsewhere. They won’t like it, but unless you put your foot down, they will drain you of every last penny. It’s your choice. Dear Annie: My husband and I love each other dearly, but I am far more sociable. Occasionally, when friends invite us over, I go by myself. This is fine with me, but our friends will invariably ask, ‘‘Why didn’t you bring Jim?’’ The honest answer, ‘‘He didn’t feel like coming,’’ seems unneces- sarily hurtful. But I don’t feel com- fortable making up fake excuses, saying he has to work when I know he’s home surfing the web or read- ing a book. How do I respond? — Puzzled Dear Puzzled: If little white lies bother you, you can be direct (‘‘You know how Jim can be.’’) or honest and evasive (‘‘Jim couldn’t make it.’’). But if these are good friends, they should not be surprised if you simply tell them that Jim finds socializing difficult and he’d rather be at home. Dear Annie: I have a better response for ‘‘Dad’s Personal Bank,’’ who said he and his older two of the best offensive minds in football,’’ he said, speaking of Kelly and Auburn offensive coordina- tor Gus Malzahn. All of which may really mean that whichever defense plays better will lead its team to a championship. ‘‘I think both defenses have something to prove and want to show up and are tired of answering questions about how it’s going to be 55-53,’’ Herbstreit said. ‘‘I think they have a point to prove. I think it will be a low-scoring game, lower-scoring because of the way the two defenses are going to show up in a bad mood.’’ But while defense wins championships, offense sells tickets, and almost every- thing points to this being a high-scoring game. Auburn heads into the game favored brother provide for their father, who complains that it isn’t enough and then takes vacations with their younger brother. You should have told him to cut Dad off. I am 87, and my son is 62. For 30 years, we have given to relatives on both sides of the family. We have financed homes and cars and issued personal loans. If it is a gift, they know it. If it is a loan, they know it. We are the bankers, and we dictate the terms. If there are hard feelings, too bad. We have invested a couple of mil- lion dollars in these relatives, and if anybody complains, they are black- listed. We don’t finance vacations or drug habits. I refused to bail out a nephew who got caught driving without a license. When I am 100, I will turn this whole situation over to my son, who will then be 75 and can have the fun of dealing with the rel- atives. — D.C. Dear D.C.: Not everyone (espe- cially a child) is willing to take such a hard line, but we’re glad it works for you. Annie’s Snippet, credit Martin Luther King, Jr.: ‘‘Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.’’ Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. by 2 1/2 points, though more telling is the over-under for the contest, set at a whopping 74 points. Demand for this game was, according to ticket sell- er StubHub, at a record level. So high at one point that the company had to shut down sales when it ran into a glitch with one of its sellers. That problem was remedied, but tickets for the game were still averaging in the $2,000 range Sunday on a variety of broker websites. An estimat- ed 15,000 Auburn fans came to Arizona without tickets, hoping to be part of a cham- pionship moment that hasn’t happened at that school since 1957. Oregon has never won a national title, and hadn’t had that on the radar until about a decade ago. The school that produced Norm Van Brock- lin, Dan Fouts and Ahmad Rashad on the football field is still probably best known as a counterculture track school where the late runner Steve Prefontaine, of 1970s fame, remains the top sports figure. Kelly, however, does not plan to use this game as a way to change the culture. He’s more about a great offense than grand pro- nouncements. ‘‘We stand for three things: playing fast, playing hard and finishing. We’ve done it with our 12 opportu- nities,’’ he said. ‘‘Our vision has not to do with champi- onships. Our vision has noth- ing to do with getting a crys- tal ball or rings. It is all about playing the game. That’s what we’ve done all along and that’s what our vision is.’’ DEAR DR. GOTT: My wife was diagnosed with multi-organ sar- coidosis. It has caused a third- degree heart block. It has been identi- fied in her lungs, brain, liver, lymph nodes and has caused severe skin lesions. Steroids have helped but she was taken off them because of rapid bone loss that will result in a hip replacement in the future. Her current panel of doctors seems to be stumped as to what to do next. Do we have any options, or is there any new treatment that maybe has not made its way to our area yet? Dr. Peter Gott vital organs are at risk, anti-inflam- matory medication may be prescribed. Corticosteroids are most commonly used and are the best first-line approach. If they do not provide adequate results or cannot be tolerat- ed, anti-rejection DEAR READER: Sar- coidosis is caused by the development and growth of clusters of inflammatory cells in various areas of the body. Most commonly, the lesions appear in the lungs, lymph nodes, eyes and skin. It is not known what causes the condition, but it is thought to result from an abnormal immune response. What triggers the response is not known, but some physicians believe it is likely something inhaled because most patients have lung symptoms. Symptoms, severity and duration vary from person to person; however, for most, it goes away on its own. For some, it may last indefinite- ly. Symptoms depend on what area is affected. Many people do not have symp- toms. Some may have signs that develop gradually and last for several years, while others have symptoms that appear and disappear quick- ly. Based on your brief note, I believe that your wife has a severe case that has been causing problems for a while. You do not mention when she was diagnosed and how long she was tak- ing medication. Treatment depends on severity and what organs are affected. Minor symp- toms may only require close monitoring. For both- ersome symptoms or if medications, anti-malarial drugs and TNF-alpha inhibitors may be consid- ered. Anti-rejection med- ications suppress the immune system and reduce inflammation. Anti-malari- al drugs are most beneficial for those with skin symp- toms and nervous-system involvement. Tumor necro- sis factor (TNF)-alpha inhibitors are most com- monly used to treat rheumatoid arthritis, but studies have shown it may be helpful in treating sar- coidosis. A final and last resort option is surgical organ transplant. This is only con- sidered for individuals who have had severe liver or lung damage owing to sarcoido- sis. You don’t mention what type of physicians your wife is currently seeing. Because she has many organs involved, she may need to be under the care of several specialists who are familiar with sarcoidosis, one of whom might be a pulmo- nologist (lung specialist). Such specialists are most likely to be familiar with sarcoidosis because it is pri- marily a lung disorder. He or she can then recommend other physicians based on which organs are affected. There will likely be a cardi- ologist (heart specialist), neurologist (brain and nerve specialist), dermatologist (skin specialist) and/or a hepatologist (liver special- ist). Both you and your wife will benefit from understanding her condi- tion better. You can learn more from the May- oClinic.com/health/sar- coidosis/DS00251 or StopSarcoidosis.org. Support our classrooms, keep kids reading. 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