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4B – Daily News – Saturday, December 18, 2010 FEATURES Fellow forestalls Facebook friendliness Dear Annie: My hus- band and I each have our own profiles on Facebook, and we are ‘‘friends,’’ so we can see each other’s pro- files. Several weeks ago, I noticed that he had deleted all pictures of me from his photo album. When I asked him about it, he said it was ‘‘accidental.’’ I asked him to put at least one photo of me back on there, and he said he would, but so far, he hasn’t. my daughter-in-law at Christmas. A year ago, ‘‘Laurie’’ informed me that she was contemplating a divorce for a variety of rea- sons. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar His profile photo on this site is our wedding picture with my face cropped out. Coincidentally, his friends have been inviting him more frequently to events that do not include me (although I notice that on occasion some of the other wives are there). The last event they had, they made sure to invite our dog but not me. Am I right to feel hurt? Should I be suspicious? — Worried Dear Worried: Let’s see. Your husband has deleted your photo from his networking site and cropped you out of his wedding pic- ture. His friends exclude you from events where other wives are pre- sent. They’d rather socialize with your dog than you. Suspicious? You bet. Your husband is clearly telling you something about the state of your relationship, and it isn’t good. Ask him to go with you for coun- seling to figure out how best to han- dle this. Dear Annie: I am wondering whether I should continue to gift Laurie and my son have three children. Her father paid for the children’s pri- vate school education, and he is now covering the old- est child’s college tuition. In turn, for the past 25 years, I have contributed more than $10,000 annually for their living expenses, most recently pay- ing off their home mortgage of $224,000. Laurie and I used to get along, but since her announcement about the potential divorce, she has stopped corresponding with me, with the exception of two e-mails in which she excoriated my son. In spite of her complaints, I’m sure their problems are not entirely his fault. Laurie has her own issues. However, because she is taking out her marital unhappiness on me, I do not feel inclined to gift her at Christmastime. I usually give each of them $500. Would I be wrong to eliminate her as a recipient? My husband says ‘‘peace at any price’’ and thinks we should overlook her bad behavior. What do you think? — To Gift or Not To Gift Dear Gift: Laurie is the mother of your grandchildren and, until she actually goes through with a divorce, is still your daughter-in- law. You have accustomed her to your largesse, and if you cut her off now, she is not likely to take it well. You certainly don’t owe her (or any- one) such a generous gift, but she is a member of your family and should be treated as any other. Keep in mind that she and your son could reconcile, and your treatment of her will not be forgotten. Instead, see what you can do to improve your relationship. Dear Annie: This is for ‘‘Anx- iously Awaiting,’’ who had an elec- tive bilateral mastectomy and her husband still won’t look at her naked. My wife of 42 years is a sur- vivor of breast cancer. After the rad- ical mastectomy, she, too, wondered if I would ever again look at her in the nude. My answer was to remind her of our marriage vows: ‘‘In sick- ness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.’’ I said we need to add ‘‘in pieces and in parts.’’ I asked her, ‘‘Would you leave me if I lost a leg in an accident?’’ She said, ‘‘No.’’ I didn’t marry her for breasts. She also has a heart con- dition, lung scarring and lupus. I love her anyway. At least she’s here. — In Pieces and In Love Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Motorists should prepare for winter weather Caltrans wants to remind motorists to be pre- pared for these upcoming storms. Information on winter driving, chain con- trols and access to traffic cameras is available on the internet at www.caltrans2.info. Cal- trans suggests you visit the website prior to any winter trip for important informa- tion on driving conditions and tips on how to be pre- pared in the case of inclement weather. It is best to stay off the roads during winter storms, but if you must go out use caution, common sense and be prepared. Things to Remember • Winterize your vehicle (check brakes, windshield wipers, antifreeze, tires). • Always carry chains. • Reduce speed and use your seatbelt. • Do not use cruise con- trol in wet, icy or snowy weather. • Do not pass a vehicle plowing snow unless instructed. • Be aware of rapidly changing conditions. • Be prepared for road closures and long delays (bring flashlight, blanket, food, ice scraper, gloves, water, cell phone charger). • If possible, stay off the road during winter storms. • Studded snow tires are permitted in California from November 1 until April 30. Studded snow tires are not considered tire traction devices and may not be used in lieu of chains. Truck Drivers • Extra-Legal permitted loads are restricted during inclement weather. • Follow instructions in chain control areas. • Listen for Highway Advisory Radio (HAR) messages on 1610 AM. • Remain in the slow lane, avoid passing other big rigs. Click the following link to go to the Caltrans winter driving brochure online, http://www.dot.ca.gov/hq/r oadinfo/wntrdriv.htm. What’s the right timing for medical tests? DEAR DR. GOTT: I’m a 49- year-old female. I have given birth to three children ages 19 to 24. There is no known history of ovarian or breast cancer in my fami- ly. My brother and I both had our thy- roid glands removed due to cancerous tumors. For the last 25 years, I Dr. Peter Gott have had annual PAP smears and vaginal/anal exams, with great results. Last month I went to my internist for an annual physical. This was the fourth year I have seen him. He’s done my gynecologi- cal exams and PAPs. This year he said that regulations have changed and because I have had three successive normal PAPs, I do not need one for three more years. I questioned whether this was due to new research or new regulations. He said “new regulations.” I told him I wanted one anyway. My insurance will pay, and I’m not concerned about the cost if the procedure isn’t covered. I am con- cerned about cancer. So he had me undress and put on a gown. When he came back to the exam room he pulled up the “reg- ulation” on his computer to show me, saying there was no need to do the exam. I was dumbfounded and agreed. My research has told me that passing on the PAP is OK but that I should have a vaginal and anal exam to look for ovarian cancer, which he did not do. Nor did he do a breast exam. He just told me that I should perform self breast exams. Should I go to an OB/GYN for a proper exam or do you agree with him? DEAR READ- ER: I don’t know what you had done as part of your annual exam or what it cost, but it appears to me some things might have been left out. He didn’t perform a breast exam. Did he check your blood pressure, do an EKG, listen to your heart, talk about the impor- tance of a colonoscopy in the near future, coordinate possible necessary lab work or X-rays and ask relevant questions about your past medical history? Pap tests and pelvic exams are an important part of an examination for women because they can detect cancer and other abnormalities that could lead to cancer of the cervix. If abnormalities can be detected early, they can be treated earlier, before can- cer has had time to develop. Of the 55 million PAP tests performed every year in the United States, approximately 3.5 million of them are abnormal and require follow-up. While not all testing is accurate, false positives (as well as false negatives) can be reported. About half of the false negative reports are because of inadequate spec- imen collection. The other half occurs because of mis- interpretation on the part of the individual examining the specimen. Newer meth- ods being instituted have made it easier to collect and analyze. BACK by popular DEMAND! BUSINESS OPERATORS! Make sure your business is included in the BUSINESS CHRONOLOGY Promotional Feature Only in Tehama County 2011 Established 1994 D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 2 col. x 3” ads, published oldest to newest business, throughout the pages of the Daily News. New This Year! All published Business Chronology ads will be re-packaged into an online special section called “Cavalcade of Local Business – 2011,” equipped with page-turn digital technology. It will be published exclusively for a full year on www.redbluffdailynews.com, where over 50,000 unique online visitors come, every month! The Gold Exchange “Your Quality Hometown Jeweler” 423 Walnut St, Red Bluff 528-8000 10 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. Sat 11 a.m. - 4 p.m. Business Chronology Boxes Published in The Daily News: New Year’s Day – January 1 Space Reservation Deadline: Tuesday, December 28. Rates: $65 per business Includes full run in the January 1 print and digital online edition of the Daily News, plus publication for a full year in online special section “Cavalcade of Local Business – 2011” at no extra cost! “ Add $123 for three additional publications of your Chronology box in the print and online digital daily editions of The Daily News, any edition days through Saturday, January 8. Don’t let YOUR business be left out of this expanded multi-media promotional project! Call your Daily News advertising representative today to make your space reservations. (530) 527-2151 or email advertise@redbluffdailynews.com Mon.-Fri. Digital rectal exams are done to check for potential problems in the pelvic area, uterus, ovaries, lower abdomen, vaginal bleeding, pelvic pain and more. As a guideline (and there is no hard and fast rule), women between the ages of 40 and 65 should have their blood pressure checked every one to two years; cholesterol levels checked every five years; an annual dental exam; eye exam every two years; physical exam between one and five years; self-breast exams monthly with exam by a health care provider annually; mammograms every one to two years; PAP smear (according to the National Cancer Insti- tute) every two to three years; and a rectal during gynecological examina- tions. If a woman has undergone a complete hys- terectomy, she will not need a PAP unless the rea- son for the procedure involved cancer or pre-can- cer; and a pelvic every two years unless extenuating circumstances enter the picture for closer follow-up on any of the above condi- tions. Recommendations have been modified. Some peo- ple may look on this fact as favorable, while others are concerned because of potential consequences for waiting. If you feel strongly that you want specific test- ing performed and your physician has voted against it, the answer is to find a gynecologist who is willing to do what you want — even if this means paying out of pocket. To give you related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Medical Special- ists.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed, stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and forwarded to PO Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print out an order form from my website www.AskDr- GottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com.