Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/21035
Wednesday, December 8, 2010 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Dastardly damsels disavow depressed daughter Dear Annie: Last year, my 16-year-old daughter had a bout of depression and anxiety and didn’t han- dle herself well. As a result, she has been shunned by the friends she’s had since 7th grade. ‘‘Lauren’’ has tried to make amends by apologiz- ing, but these girls want nothing to do with her. Through therapy, Lauren realizes she is reaping what she has sown, but several of the girls are just plain mean. With my encouragement, Lauren asked for a mediation session to try to get one of the girls to back down from the nasty comments. Unfortunately, the rest of the girls thought Lauren chose to bring one of them down, so now it’s payback time. The bullying is exhausting for Lauren to endure, and she no longer wants to go to school. I spoke with the principal, a social worker and the teacher whose class is the worst. They all agree it is a difficult prob- lem because it’s quite likely that if the girls are admonished, the bully- ing will increase. And they are probably right. Lauren is a beautiful, smart girl. What am I supposed to do? We are told to speak up if a child is being bullied, but what about the back- lash? The school feels its hands are tied. Lauren is back in therapy so she can learn how to cope with these mean girls. Any thoughts? — Frustrated Mom Dear Mom: Even if Lauren Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar deserved her classmates’ scorn, she does not deserve to be bullied. The school is abdicating its responsibility by shrugging its shoulders and doing nothing. Encour- age Lauren to find other friends who will value the person she is now, and look into extracurricular activi- ties that will allow her to meet kids outside of school. The U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services has an anti-bullying website (stop- bullyingnow.hrsa.gov) that offers suggestions. If your daughter con- tinues to struggle, however, and the school refuses to help, it might be time to switch schools so she can start fresh. Your daughter’s well- being comes first. Dear Annie: ‘‘Bruce’’ and I have known each other for six years, although we only started dat- ing a few months ago. We plan to marry next year. The problem is, he always has to contradict what I say and makes it seem like I’m never right. He also doesn’t like my dog. He says if it starts yapping at him, he’s going to kick it across the room. I’ve tried talking to him about this, and sometimes I get so upset that I cry. Of course, then he says he hates to see me hurt. Why can’t he connect his words to my pain? He doesn’t seem to understand. How do I get him to lay off the rude remarks without starting another fight? — Hurt in California Dear California: You should not have to burst into tears to get your fiance to stop berating you. And frankly, any man who would kick your dog across the room should be avoided at all costs. Couples coun- seling may help you work through this, but please think twice before making a lifetime commitment to this man. Dear Annie: The wife described in ‘‘The Thrill is Gone’’ could be me. My husband is consumed with his job, and I do everything around the house. I love him, but when he has a spare five minutes, he expects me to drop everything and jump into bed. There is more to intimacy than sex. ‘‘Thrill’’ needs to tell his wife how grateful he is for all she does for their family. If he spent some time showing his appreciation instead of trying to fix her libido, he’d get a better response. I would be ecstatic if my hus- band asked me to go for a walk, offered to make dinner or gave me a backrub without turning it into fore- play. I need to feel valued and trea- sured. Save the doctor money and use it for flowers. — In the Same Boat Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Check site annually for Medicare drug plans Q: I'm a senior, and for the last couple of years I've had the same Medicare Part D drug plan. I've been seeing a lot of advertise- ments. Do I have to go through the whole process of finding a new plan and signing up, or should I just stick with the plan I already have? A: I'm always astounded at the hoops seniors have to jump through to deal with Medicare, and supple- ments, and now the Part D drug plan. Maybe they think all seniors are retired and have nothing better to do. Since there are 40 mil- lion seniors and disabled individuals eligible for Part D, this adds up to a lot of time spent on the process, but it will be well worth it. So, yes, you should go through the entire process annually, during the period from Nov. 15 through Dec. 31 , when you are allowed to change plans. Doing so could save you a lot of money for several reasons. First, you could be tak- ing different medicines or dosages. Second, the drug plan that you now have could be changing its prices in January for the drugs you take. And there is some new competition among those who offer these plans -- most notably Wal-Mart's entry as a part- ner with Humana to create a program that promises total savings of as much as 30 percent for the average senior's total cost. Also, if you take a lot of medicines, you already know about the "doughnut hole" -- the point where you have to pay for your drugs before the cata- strophic coverage provided by the government kicks in. This year, as part of the health reform bill, if you fall into that doughnut hole category, you'll receive a discount on branded drugs. Again, that makes it important to fig- ure out which plan has the lowest overall cost. If you can't remember how it worked last year -- and for those new to Part D -- here are some basics you should know. Signup for Part D is required: You must sign up for Medicare Part D -- even if you don't take prescrip- tion medicines. If you don't sign up, then when you do need coverage you'll always pay higher premi- ums. The only exceptions to the need to sign up are those seniors with "equiva- lent" or "creditable" drug coverage from an employ- er's health care plan or retiree health plan. (Your employer will give you a letter attesting to that cov- erage.) Also, those many who receive medical bene- fits from the VA can get equivalent coverage. Two ways to get Part D: You can buy Part D cover- age from the private Pre- scription Drug Plan that is the least expensive based on the drugs you take. Each of these plans has its own monthly premium, deductible and co-pay per prescriptions (above the deductible level). That's why you need to use the tool at Medicare.gov to fig- ure out which plan is over- all the least expensive for your situation. Or you can sign up for a Medicare HMO, known as Medicare Advan- tage. Then you won't need a sep- arate Part D plan because all of your drugs will be covered by your HMO. Of the 27.7 million people enrolled in Medicare Part D drug plans, one- third are covered by Medicare Advantage plans. Assistance for low-income ben- eficiaries: If your income is below $16,245 and you have few other Terry industry have gotten togeth- er to make a potent competi- tive entry into the Part D program. They're so proud of their deal, expected to aver- age $450 a year in savings, that you can access the Medicare tool right from the Wal-Mart website. Savage The Savage assets, you quali- fy for assistance. If you know someone who would quali- fy, be sure to pass on this information, since it could make a life-or-death differ- ence. The only way to find the best -- cheapest -- plan for you is to use the "planfind- er tool" at www.Medicare.gov -- or call for help at (800) Medicare. All you need is your Medicare number -- and the names and dosages of all your prescriptions. You'll enter that informa- tion, and the computer will generate a list of PDPs that are available in your neigh- borhood, with the least expensive on top -- based on the drugs you're current- ly taking. You'll want to compare not only the monthly premium but the overall cost for the year before making a choice. A final note about the Humana/Wal-Mart RX plan: Two giants in the Truth on Money If you're an adult child or grandchild -- or neighbor -- of a senior, take the time to sit down with him or her and go through the process while you're waiting for the turkey to cook next week. It will make them very thankful. And that's The Savage Truth. Terry Savage is a registered investment adviser and is on the board of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. She can be reached at www.terrysavage.com. She is the author of the new book, "The New Savage Number: How Much Money Do You Really Need to Retire?" Is spiral CT the answer? DEAR DR. GOTT: My friend told me about a recent news pro- gram on television regarding early detection for lung cancer through X- ray. I missed it because I was vis- iting my father, who is in a nursing home, but I would love to know what this new testing is all about. Can you fill me in on the details? amount to avoid the tortuous med- ication and side effects they might face, and I can fully appreciate that view. Dr. Peter Gott DEAR READER: I believe the testing you are referring is spiral comput- ed tomography (SCT). These scans are now being performed as a means of early detection for lung cancer in people who smoke or did in the past. Within 12 to 20 seconds, the machine rotates around the patient and creates images that are reconstructed into a three- dimensional model of the lungs. The National Cancer Society is conducting a study that should answer questions as to whether a chest X-ray or spiral CT can lower death rates from lung cancer. Evidence from several studies indi- cates that the spiral CT can detect small cancers not detected on standard chest X-rays. Of the people tested, up to 60 percent will have abnormalities that are not cancerous. They are sim- ply benign nodules. Unfortunately, this can put the person on an emotion- al roller coaster, not to mention the radiation exposure. Beyond that, the disadvantage of the CT is that about 25 percent of those tested may produce false positive results, meaning that a person might be considered to have lung cancer when in fact he or she doesn’t. When a problem is sus- pected, the patient will likely be scheduled for a biopsy or treatment and perhaps even unnecessary invasive surgery, a proce- dure that can reduce pul- monary function. And that has nothing to do with the fact that many insurance companies will not recog- nize the cost of the CT, which will likely be close to $1,000. I can already imagine readers saying they will gladly pay this Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer-related death in the Unit- ed States. Perhaps that is why more and more hospitals across the country are using spi- ral CT for this very pur- pose, even before know- ing study results. If you are a smoker, the most effective means of prevention is to stop. This addiction, as with alcohol, drugs and countless other issues, is not an easy one to break. Tap into a local support group, and speak with your doctor about over-the-counter patches, gums, inhalers or pre- scription medications to get you through the initial stages of withdrawal. There is help, and the ben- efits are well worth it. If you are interested in join- ing a clinical trial, go to www.cancer.gov/clinical- trials. Then ask your doctor whether spiral CT is right for you. About 60 percent of the hospitals across the United States own this type of machine. It is said that early detection can reduce lung-cancer mor- tality by 20 percent. That’s impressive. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Pulmonary Dis- ease.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order payable to Newslet- ter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.co m. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com CARE TO COMMENT? At redbluffdailynews.com, scroll to the end of any story, click the link and type away.