Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/199146
Friday, October 25, 2013 – Daily News 3B FEATURES Find your way out of Married woman falls for childhood beau me? — In Love With OK, but the more conservative say Dear I am a 'almost depression' year-oldAnnie:have in 44-a to wait until the child is at least 2 Another Man woman Dear In Love: Imagine years old. quandary. I been "snap out of." DEAR DOCHere's a quick TOR K: Recently quiz to help deterI've been feeling mine whether sad and tired. My you're almost doctor doesn't depressed. Check think I'm all statements that depressed, but I describe how know something's you've been feelnot right. What Dr. K ing in the past could it be? month: DEAR READby Anthony L. — I'm frustratER: Doctors typi- Komaroff, M.D. ed over little cally define diseases by how they appear things that don't usually in their most extreme bother me. — I've been avoiding form. I call it the "tip of the iceberg" phenomenon. my friends. — I have not been For example, you don't have diabetes until your sleeping well lately. — Nothing tastes very blood sugar reaches a certain level. You don't have good these days. — I'd like to just "stop lupus until you have a certain combination of symp- the world" and get off for toms, physical examina- a while. — Nothing seems very tion and laboratory abnormalities. The same with funny to me. — Nothing seems very multiple sclerosis. Yet lots of people have interesting or exciting to "pre-diabetes": Their me lately. — My fuse seems blood sugar levels are not high enough to qualify for shorter than it used to be, the diagnosis of diabetes, and I get easily irritated. — I'm not as interested but they have a higher risk than those without "pre- in having sex as I used to diabetes" to develop the be. — I'd really like just to disease in the future. And many people have illness- be left alone. — I have trouble cones with some feature of lupus or multiple sclero- centrating on a book or sis. Sometimes they go on TV show. — I just feel tired all to develop the full-blown disease, and sometimes the time for no reason. If you checked off two not. The same is true with or more statements, you depression. In between a may fall somewhere on state of positive well- the depression spectrum. The good news is that being and full-blown major depression lies a you can get your life back. large gray area of persis- One place to start is with tent negative mood. A an informative new book "Almost newly emerging term for called this gray area is "almost Depressed," written by my Harvard colleagues Dr. depression." If you are almost Jefferson B. Prince and depressed, you experi- Dr. Shelley Carson. In this ence some symptoms of book, Drs. Prince and clinical depression, but Carson discuss proven your symptoms are not strategies to help improve intense, frequent or per- your mood, renew your sistent enough to be diag- energy and restore your nosed as major depres- spirit. You can find more sion. Still, these symp- information about the toms negatively impact book at my website, your quality of life. And below. If you think you might they affect your mood, perception, thought be depressed, but your processes, emotions, doctor says you don't physical condition, moti- meet the criteria for vation, work performance depression, don't let that and social life. Almost mean that there is nothing depression is not some- to be done for you. You thing you can simply can get help. On Halloween, don't be spooked by the Internet By Jennifer Cooper Social Security Manager in Redding Don't look now, but it's almost Halloween. Halloween is time for kids of all ages to dress up in costumes and go trick-or-treating. But it is also a time of visiting haunted houses and watching those scary horror films. Think of the movies that frightened you the most, and they usually have an element of fear of the unknown. Doing business online may also needlessly frighten people. When it comes to Social Security, however, there is nothing to be spooked about. We take all the fear out of doing business online. There are a number of things you can do online a t www.socialsecurity.gov, and none of them should send so much as a shiver down your spine. Save yourself a trip to a Social Security office and transact your business from the comfort of your home. No need to be afraid to go online; it's so easy and safe to do business at www.socialsecurity.gov. Here are just a few of Social Security's online services you can easily access from the convenience of your home or office computer: • Apply for retirement, disability, or Medicare benefits; • Find out what benefits you might be eligible to receive; • Setup a my Social Security account so you can access and update your information anytime; • Apply for Extra Help with your Medicare prescription drug costs; • Estimate your future benefits; • Appeal an unfavorable decision on a disability claim; • Change your address; and • Report employee wages. For a complete list of our online services, visit www.socialsecurity.gov/o nlineservices. You also can find forms, publications, answers to frequently asked questions, Social Security news, and much more at www.socialsecurity.gov. You'll find our online services are frighteningly easy to use. Save your fears for the monsters on television or the costumed creatures knocking at your door. Don't be afraid to visit www.socialsecurity.gov. The your husband reconnecting married for 21 years to a with an old flame and good man who is nine deciding to leave you years my senior. He is because you aren't exciting supportive and affectionanymore. Wouldn't you ate. Most women would want the opportunity to be satisfied. He plays the lottery more often than we Annie's discuss it? To point out how it would hurt the chilcan afford, but other than dren? To help him underthat, he's a kind man. He is also a terrific, loving by Kathy Mitchell stand that 21 years together father to our two teenage and Marcy Sugar should mean something? We can assure you that boys. Here's my problem: Six months six months of playing kissy-face is ago, I got in touch with my first not the same as a day-to-day maryoung love through Facebook. We riage. It's easy to put effort and became comfortable chatting and romance into a fling and believe texting. We eventually met face to it's going to be like that forever. face, and there was an instant We understand that you are bored, attraction. We now text daily and but this is disrespectful to your talk on the phone at least once a marriage and your husband. Get week. We also get together once a counseling. See whether you can fix what's making you unhappy month to go hiking. We have hugged and kissed, but before you make a mess of several haven't had sex. He feels that lives, including your own. Dear Annie: Could you please would be crossing a line that could never be erased. But we are educate people about the dangers both slowly giving in to our desire of tossing their babies and toddlers for each other. Our marriages are up in the air? — Father of Five Dear Dad: Forceful or violent at a crossroads. Neither of us is shaking, bouncing and tossing can intimate with our spouse. My family is completely cause brain or spinal damage in unaware that I am in love with my infants. This is known as shaken childhood sweetheart. Do I follow baby syndrome. However, very my head and stay in a safe, stale gentle tossing (less than a foot in marriage? I love my husband, but the air) is usually safe, provided I am not in love with him and you don't drop the child or hit his haven't been for years. I would, of head on the ceiling or a light fixcourse, wait for my sons to go off ture, which happens more often to college before changing my than you might think. Pediatrilife. Do you have any advice for cians are divided on what age is Mailbox I could be wrong, but I'm going to guess you've made a money blunder or two in your life. For many of us, it was a nonstop series of blunders that finally brought us to our financial knees. But I'm not talking about the kind of blunders that got us into trouble. We could list those in our sleep. These are the blunders commonly made while clawing our way back to financial freedom. Avoid these blunders and you'll get there much faster. Not giving. Whether out of fear or forgetfulness, keeping all of your money is a serious blunder. Giving away some of your money to help someone else who is in much worse shape than you will do amazing things to your life. Amazing. Not saving. This is the blunder most often committed by the person so driven to right all the wrongs yesterday if not sooner, he feels guilty keeping anything for himself. So when even a small emergency arises he has no choice but to run back to the credit cards that got him into trouble in the first place. Mistiming your mortgage prepayment. You should not even think about prepaying your mortgage until you have amassed a Popular customer request Serving Butte, Glenn & Tehama Counties Tues-Sat 9am-5pm • Closed Sun & Mon 22825 Antelope Blvd., Red Bluff 530-528-2221 • Fax 530-528-2229 www.thestovejunction.com respectable emergency fund and the $720. Who in their right mind paid off all of your unsecured would chose to pay $720 just to get debts. Prepaying your mort- back $280? Consolidating debts. It sounds gage before achieving those goals is foolish because great to pay off all your high-interest debts with one lowwhen something interest loan, and then have unexpected hapa single smaller payment. pens you'll look to But that is usually a big your home's equity for mistake. Consolidation a bail out. Never think of loans are typically tied to the equity in your home one's home equity or a as a bank account from credit card with a lot of hidwhich you can make den fees and punitive rates withdrawals at will. in the fine print. That's bad Misunderstanding enough. But worse, the deductibility. There is a financially immature permyth that says you Mary son keeps the accounts should not pay off your open (you know, the ones home mortgage, but that that were paid off with the you should keep it forconsolidation loan), falls ever because the interest back into using them again, is tax-deductible. That is and sooner than later, runs an industrial-strength them right back up to the blunder. Deductibility is max. Just don't do it, hear? a "consolation prize" for the person who didn't win. It softMary Hunt is the founder of ens the blow on expenses that cannot be avoided. Example: If you www.DebtProofLiving.com and are in the 28 percent tax bracket, author of 23 books, including her and pay $1,000 in deductible mort- 2012 release, "7 Money Rules for gage interest per year, that trans- Life." You can email her at lates to a $280 reduction in your mary@everydaycheapskate.com, tax bill. If you pay off that mort- or write to Everyday Cheapskate, gage, you lose the $280 tax relief. P.O. Box 2099, Cypress, CA But guess what? You get to keep 90630. Hunt Everyday Cheapskate Corps parks invite military, veterans for day SACRAMENTO — The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers Sacramento District will waive day use fees for veterans, active and reserve component service members and their families at the district's 10 parks on Veterans Day, Nov. 11. District parks include Black Butte Lake near Orland. "The Corps has proudly offered this modest thank you to our service members since 2006," said Theresa Fisher, district natural resources specialist, U.S. Army Corps of Engineers Sacramento District. "We are very proud to host these families who have given so much for our freedom." The fee waiver requires verbal confirmation of service and covers fees for boat launch ramps and swimming beaches. The waiver does not apply to camping and camping- The North State's premier supplier of stoves Now in Stock! Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Five common money blunders Over 25 years of experience STOVE JUNCTION BBQ PELLETS Dear Annie: "Puzzled in Gary, Ind." asked why lesbians are attracted to older women with white hair. There could be another reason: the assumption that a woman is alone and might have assets to steal. This happened to my friend "Sue." A pair of women began attending her church and wrangled an invitation to stay with Sue while "waiting for the paperwork to be finished on their new house." They remained in their room when I visited. If I called, one of them answered the phone. If they left the house, they took Sue with them. After two weeks, Sue knocked on my door, quickly put her Bible in my hands and rushed back. In the Bible was a short note asking me to help her because she was afraid of her "guests." I promptly called Sue's son and daughter, who came to evict the intruders. These women had been trying to "help Sue" with her finances and were working on having their names added to her accounts. — California All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened Members Welcome 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES Smog Check $ starting at + 25958 $ 25 certificate (MOST CARS & PICK-UPS) 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St. related services, or fees for specialized facilities such as group picnic shelters. Other agencies that manage recreation areas on Corps' lands are encouraged, but not required, to offer the waiver in the areas that they manage. A list of Sacramento District parks can be found a t spk.usace.army.mil/Locations/SacramentoDistrictParks.aspx.