Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Modern Mummies: New York City artist Sally Davies offered in October the latest evidence of how unattractive today’s fast foods are to bacteria and maggots. Davies bought a McDonald’s Happy Meal in April, has photographed it daily, and has noted periodically the lack even of the slightest sign of decomposition. Her dog, who circled restlessly nearby for the first two days the vittles were out, since then has ignored it. (Several bloggers, and filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, have made discoveries similar to Davies’.) Food scientists “credited” a heavy use (though likely still within FDA guidelines) of the preservative sodium propionate but also the predominance of fat and lack of moisture and nutrients — all of which contribute to merely shrinking and hardening the burger and fries. [Daily Mail (London), 10-13-10; Salon.com, 9-1-10] Compelling Explanations Maybe Just Safekeeping It for a Friend: Raymond Roberts, 25, was arrested in Manatee County, Fla., in September after an ordinary traffic stop turned up a strong smell of marijuana. At deputies’ behest, Roberts removed a baggie of marijuana from his buttocks, but when the deputies saw another plastic bag right behind it (containing a white substance believed to be cocaine), Roberts said, “The weed is (mine),” but “(t)he white stuff is not ...” [Bradenton Herald, 10-1-10] Firefighter Richard Gawlik Jr. was terminated by Allentown, Pa., in August for abusing sick leave after he posted his daily golf scores on a public website during three days in which he had called off from work. Allentown firefighters’ contract allows them up to four consecutive days’ sick leave without a doctor’s note, and given their shift schedule of four days on, four days off, a four-day, undocumented sick call effectively means a 12-day holiday — a pattern that describes 60 percent of all firefighter “sick” days, according to an analysis by the Allentown Morning Call. (Gawlik’s union president said the union would appeal and that “playing golf was well within the guidelines of (Gawlik’s illness).”) [Morning Call, 9-13-10] Woody Will Smith, 33, was convicted in September of murdering his wife after a jury in Dayton, Ky., “deliberated” about 90 minutes before rejecting his defense of caffeine intoxication. Smith had claimed that his daily intake of sodas, energy drinks and diet pills had made him temporarily insane when he strangled his two-timing wife with an extension cord in 2009, and made him again not responsible when he confessed the crime to police. (In May 2010, a judge in Pullman, Wash., ordered a hit-and-run driver to treatment instead of jail, based on the driver’s “caffeine psychosis.” Some doctors believe the condition can kick in with as little as 400 mg of caffeine daily — an amount that, given America’s coffee consumption, potentially portends a sky-high murder rate.) [Lexington Herald-Leader-AP, 9-20-10] COPYRIGHT 2010 CHUCK SHEPHERD 26 UCW NOVEMBER 10-16, 2010 WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES (March 21-April 19) There are times when you should push yourself to be more generous and selfl ess. But right now, do the opposite. You need to take care of yourself. Give only what you feel good about giving. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Rack up a few hours of manual labor. It will be amazing what you garner from repetitious work. The effort will enhance your creativity and sharpen your intuition. GEMINI (May 21-June 21) It seems like everyone is asking you to nail down a commit- ment, which includes hard dates and times. The requests might be bothersome, but there’s a good reason for them. Knowing what you need to do is not enough. Scheduling it is the key. Goals are not goals without a deadline. CANCER (June 22-July 22) You’ll go on a quest through your own imagination, which is alight with pictures, music and wishes. And though this would be enough for some people, unless you can make your visions real — at least to the extent that they can be real — the dream means nothing to you. Tangible results will keep you motivated. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) You don’t have to be a physicist to gain new insights into the way the universe works. Your view is original and meaningful and worthy of being shared. This week you voice your opinions and tell your side of the story. Your audience will be riveted. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Get plenty of rest this week. Sleep is a necessary part of maintaining your energy and high spirits. And when things get hectic, it’s also a welcome escape from the waking world. When you have the right amount of REM time, your subcon- scious will fi gure out what your conscious mind could not. ADVICE GODDESS LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 2) You may need to scoot your own personal preferences to the side while you tend to the group agenda. But that doesn’t mean you have to get rid of them for good. Be patient and aware, and you’ll know when the timing is perfect to display your opinions, values and beliefs. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) One of your projects is particularly dear to you these days. Jot down a possible route for your life that is centered on the happy completion of this proj- ect. If you devoted yourself to this plan, what would your life look like in six months? SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Though pressure can feel uncomfortable, ultimately, a sense of urgency can be a good thing. Without a deadline, you could vacillate endlessly be- tween two or three interesting choices. Instead, circumstances will force your hand. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) You make few requirements of your work. You understand that it’s important to do a job well, regardless of what it is. Your stellar attitude will open all kinds of lucrative doors for you this week. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You are constantly aware of how your actions affect others. That’s why you do your best to be polite whether engaged in traffi c, conversation, do- mestic co-existence, business or any relation- ship at all. And whenever you suspect that your actions had an ill effect on someone, you rectify the situation. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)You are helpful, but also careful not to be so attentive that you rob others of the self-esteem they would gain from completing their own work, making their own decisions and handling their own prob- lems. You will focus on doing what it takes to make an important improvement for your own personal satisfaction. The Marquis Bistro at the DOUBLETREE HOTEL proudly presents Thanksgiving Brunch • Carving station featuring freshly roasted favorites • Made to order Belgian waffe and omelet stations • Traditional and innovative side dishes • Wonderful array of salads and delicious desserts • Complimentary glass of champagne 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Seating by Reservation Only Adults: $22.95 Children under 10: $12.95 Please call today to make your reservation 910.323.8282 1965 Cedar C eek Rd 1965 Cedar Creek Rd. • www.fayett ville doubletree com fayetteville.doubletree.com It’s A Bootyfull Day In The Neigh- borhood My male neighbor came over to have dinner with me and my kids. After I put the kids to bed, we started watching a movie and ended up in the bedroom. I’ve taught my kids to always knock, but right in the middle of a naked foreplay session, my 10-year-old son walked in on us. I’m a divorced single mother and am entitled to a healthy sex life, but what do I say to my kid? Should I have the sex talk with him now? I don’t think I should apologize. I’ve taught my son that you apologize when you’ve done something wrong, and I don’t want him interpreting sex as wrong. — Caught Freudian analysts, sans evidence, predicted a laundry list of awful outcomes for children who witness their parents getting it on — including mania, depression, character disorders, learning disturbances, delinquency, and even asthma. Dr. Paul Okami actually investigated — following 200 kids for 18 years in a UCLA study — and found that “no empirical evidence links such experiences with subsequent psychological harm.” Unfortunately, nobody seems to have studied whether there’s a difference Amy Alkon By Holiday Mathis in seeing Mommy and Daddy and seeing Mommy doing the neighbor. If the naked people are the kid’s parents, they can at least launch into the old “When two people love each other very much…” That doesn’t quite fl y with “When there’s a reasonably attractive semi-stranger next door, and Mommy hasn’t gotten her rocks off in the longest time…” Sure, you’re divorced, not dead, but fi rst and foremost, you’re somebody’s mommy — somebody who shouldn’t be under the impression he’ll soon be recording a new voicemail message: “Mommy can’t come to the phone right now. I think she’s making a sex tape with the UPS man.” So, yes, an apology is in order — not for having sex, but for turning your bedroom into a peep show for your 10-year-old. But, wait — he should’ve knocked! Right. How unbelievable, a 10-year-old failing to follow directions. Because kids mature at different rates, child-rearing experts suggest waiting for a kid to show he’s ready to hear about sex, which he’ll indicate by asking questions. Monitor your son for changes in mood or behavior and ask if there’s anything on his mind about what he saw. If so, be truthful — say that men and women sometimes do stuff to make each other feel good and that’s what you two were doing. In the future, always use protection — a latex condom and a day-planner (to schedule your romps when the kids have a sleepover at Granny’s). You’ll be doing your part to prevent both accidental pregnancies and updated song lyrics: “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, but you’ll never believe what I saw her doing to the Easter Bunny.” (c)2010, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM