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Tuesday, November 2, 2010 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Divorcee discovers dancer’s darkside Dear Annie: I am an older di v orced woman and belong to a square-dancing club. Shortly after I started, a single man joined and quickly became my dance part- ner. He was very smooth and a good dancer, and we also began dating. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Then he said there was something I needed to know about him, but he was reluc- tant to tell me. Instead, he gave me his ex-wife’s tele- phone number and told me to call her. It turns out he had molested his two sons the entire time they were grow- ing up. But his ex said that was 20 years ago and he had been through counseling and wasn’t the same person any- more. I decided the moral thing to do was to give him the benefit of the doubt. We continued to date. However, a few other things began to crop up, like chronic lying and manipulat- ing people. He is also fre- quently unemployed. So I broke it off and also quit dancing with him. I was tempted to tell others about his history and problems, but didn’t want to be unfair to him. Now he is spreading rumors to make me look bad for dumping him. A friend who lives in his neighborhood has cut down her contact with me, and I think that’s the reason. I don’t know how to address my concerns. I am a bit socially awkward, and if I ask my friend whether this man is spreading unkind rumors about me, I fear it will make me look paranoid. How should I handle this? — Confused Dear Confused: Ask your friend why she seems to be avoiding you. If she mentions anything about this man, feel free to give her the whole story. Rest assured, his histo- ry will eventually come out. While we don’t recommend trashing his reputation in advance, you are entitled to set the record straight should anyone ask. Dear Annie: After 20 years of marriage, my wife and I separated 10 months ago. It was her idea. Although she doesn’t seem to want a reconciliation, we also aren’t headed for divorce due to medical insurance cover- age and other reasons. I don’t know how to refer to myself when it comes up in conversation. I’m not divorced. I’m not single. My wife sometimes calls me her ‘‘ex-husband,’’ although that is also inaccurate. The word ‘‘estranged’’ seems, well, strange. What exactly do I call a wife who isn’t living with me anymore? I’d like something simple that doesn’t require me to explain that we are per- manently separated but not planning to divorce. — Con- fused in California Dear Confused: This is not an uncommon arrange- ment these days, and some people call it ‘‘un-divorced.’’ Technically, you are separat- ed from your wife, and for all but the rudest people, that should be sufficient explana- tion. If any of our readers have a better word to describe the situation, let us know. Dear Annie: I am writing about ‘‘Worried in Arizona,’’ the 13-year-old girl who thinks she may have breast cancer. In March of last year, my daughter called and told me that my 10-year-old grand- daughter, Hannah, had been acting odd all evening. She said her breast had been itch- ing all day and it was bother- ing her. My daughter did a little exam and felt a large lump. When asked how long it had been there, Hannah said about a month. She thought it was a bone. So the tests began, and the surgeries. The cancer had spread to her lymph nodes. After a mastectomy and chemo, she is doing well. She is the youngest breast cancer survivor in the U.S. on record. And please know that her cancer was environmen- tal, not hereditary. Breast cancer is not just for adults anymore. Children have to learn to tell their par- ents when something is wrong, and parents need to listen. If our family can help one person, it will be worth it. — Beth Dear Beth: Please know your letter may have saved a life today. Bless you. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Multiple Sclerosis linked to constipation DEAR DR. GOTT: My son has progres- sive multiple sclero- sis and is suffering with abnormal bowel movements. They’re very hard and large. His doctor recom- mended Colace, Fleet enemas and supposi- tories, but they don’t seem to help. His diet right now is baby food, hot cereal and pureed prunes, along with electrolytes and other liquids. He also takes vitamins and lots of medication for depression. We try different Dr. Peter Gott the body’s immune system attacks itself, destroying the protec- tive sheath that covers the nerves. This may result in deteriora- things every few days but are running out of ideas. Your information has been so valuable. I read your column every day in our local news- paper. Any suggestions? DEAR READER: For readers who may not fully understand multiple sclerosis, this disorder occurs when tion of the nerves over time and, unfortunately, the condition isn’t reversible. However, there are a number of things your son can do to remain active both mentally and physical- ly. Symptoms can occur at any age but are most common in people between the ages of 20 and 40. Women are more susceptible than men. Family history plays a large role, as well. For example, if a parent or sibling has the disorder, the other chil- Oh Snap! The Daily News wants your photos: Cute kids, Adorable pets, Inspira- tional sights, Any shot you think readers would enjoy You might just see it in the Daily News Send pictures to editor@redbluffdailynews.com or drop off at 545 Diamond Ave. in Red Bluff. Include a caption. Local Established Business For Sale OR Partnership Opportunities 623 Main St. 527-5180 RBUHS Teachers Association Seeks Your Help In Voting For: Barbara McIver Marianne Willard Elsa Martinez Bautista For RBUHS School Board Paid Political dren of the affected par- ent or the siblings of the affected individual have up to a 3 percent chance of also developing it. This compares with one-tenth of a percent without a family histo- ry. Patients may have tremors, weakness or numbness in one or more limbs, occurring on one side of the body at a time, double vision, fatigue and more. In the beginning stages, there may be partial or com- plete remission that can reverse suddenly. Bowel and bladder difficulties and depres- sion are common in those with MS. I sug- gest he speak with his physician regarding the use of warm prune juice daily or my “colon cocktail,” which con- sists of equal parts prune juice, applesauce and bran. The specifics can be found in my Health Report “Com- pelling Home Reme- dies” and is one I have found to be effective when treating patients in nursing homes. Your son should be eating a more healthful diet with fiber. Poor diet is linked to consti- pation, and diets low in fiber are known to increase the possibility for producing stools that can be difficult to pass. Because his diet is so limited, he should begin slowly — perhaps with whole-grain cere- als and breads. He should drink plenty of fluids daily. Gradually add fresh fruits and vegetables, broiled fish and/or chicken and other appealing foods. Many medications carry the unwanted side effect of constipation. He should speak with his prescribing physi- cian to determine whether any of his drugs are contributing Have a news tip? Call 527-2151, Ext. 112 Dr. Andrew PomazalD.O. Physician & Surgeon General Medicine Saturday Appointments Available • High Blood Pressure • Diabetes • Joint & Muscle Pain • Lung Problems We offer Osteopathic Manipulation 530 528-2066 2050 Main St, Red Bluff Accepting New Patients Vet’s name, photo and up to 25 words In the Classified pages of the D NEWSAILY Only 2000 RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY For $ Cash • Check or Keep your dog out of the rain! HOUSES DOG YOUR PET FOOD SOURCE available... Lay-a-way plans Christmas ...It’s not too soon to think about NOW IN STOCK! OPEN EVERYDAY 9:00AM TO 6:00PM 345 So. Main Street,Red Bluff • (530) 527-4588 COME TO US FOR ALL YOUR PET SUPPLIES! ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ For each Veteran’s salute placed: We’ll donate $10.00 in your name to Christmas for the Troops The North State organization that sends Christmas Gifts to Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen In the Middle East. On Veteran’s Day we’ll also publish the names of those who honored veterans and supported Christmas for the Troops in a special advertisement. Deadline to place your Veteran’s Salute is Tuesday, November 9 at Noon! Don’t Delay – Time’s a wastin’! Call, email or drop in today! (530) 527-2151 x 103 classified@redbluffdailynews.com D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY www.rollinghillscasino.com www.redbluffyamaha.com 545 Diamond Ave., Red Bluff Office Hrs. 8 to 5 PM, MON-FRI FAX (530) 527-3719 to his problem. If so, he should request another drug be ordered in its/their place. His depression must be addressed. I don’t know how limited your son is in terms of walk- ing, riding a stationary bike, listening to the radio, working on model cars or airplanes, having a stamp collec- tion or using the Inter- net. It’s hard to make recommendations with- out knowing his age, general health and physical status, etc., but something between speaking with a thera- pist, a trip to the local park or a rousing game of checkers or chess with a friend on a regu- lar basis might be just what the doctor ordered. He should also contact the MS Society to find the nearest sup- port group. As mentioned above, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Compelling Home Remedies.” Other read- ers who would like a copy should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newslet- ter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to men- tion the title or print an order form off my web- site at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.co m. Favorite Veteran and send Christmas to our Troops! We’ll run your Veteran’s photo and service info on Salute your