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8A – Daily News – Saturday, October 23, 2010 FEATURES Burned bitter brother’s best buddy Dear Annie: About 10 years ago, my brother, ‘‘Sam,’’ stopped speaking to me. The reason was that he set me up with his best friend when I was 18, but after two years together, I realized it wasn’t going anywhere and broke it off. Sam went ballis- tic on me: I broke up with the greatest guy in the world. Nobody else would ever want me. I hurt his best friend, and he could never trust me again. Four years ago, Sam informed me via certified letter that he was getting married and if I set one foot inside the church, he would call the police. I sent him a gift, and it took eight months before I received a thank- you note from his wife, a woman I’ve never met. Last month, I sent my brother an e- mail asking if we could let the past rest because I was getting married and wanted him to be a part of my big day. I got the most awful response. He said the world would be a better place if I just stopped living, that nobody loved me and that I was a vile human being. He even went to my fiance’s office to tell him how awful I am in the hope that he’d dump me. Thankfully, my fiance laughed it off. My parents keep saying Sam will Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar come around, but after 10 years, I doubt it. To top it off, my parents are so worried about upsetting Sam (They are afraid he’ll keep them from seeing the grandchildren.) that they are not planning to attend my wedding, either. Why can’t my brother get past this? — Midwest Dear Midwest: Sam sounds mentally ill. His reac- tion to your breakup with his best friend was completely irrational, and the fact that it has lasted 10 years is a grudge out of all proportion. It’s a shame your par- ents feel blackmailed into appeasing him. You cannot make this better on your own. We hope you have wonder- ful in-laws who will fill the void. Dear Annie: I have been married to ‘‘Joe’’ for two years. We were both widowed for several years before that. Joe sold his house and moved into mine. I have tried to make him feel that this is his home, too, but I get very lit- tle financial help from him. Joe has been unemployed for a year, but even when he was working, the most he contributed each month was $400. I recently found out that he is still giving money to his 32-year-old daughter, who is also unemployed. He has also put her name on everything, so that in the event of his death, she inherits all he owns. Did I mention that there is no sex anymore because Joe says his blood pressure medication prevents it? After re-reading this letter, I guess I don’t need your advice. I am filing for divorce on Monday. — Older and Wiser Dear Older:Well, OK then. Glad we could help clarify your thoughts. Dear Annie: I laughed at the letter from ‘‘Alone in Casper,’’ who boasts that he is a gourmet cook, cleans the bathroom and plans to stay put in his ‘‘conservative community,’’ and then disses women his own age for their interest in crafts and their families. He’s been divorced twice and prides himself on not ‘‘lowering his stan- dards.’’ Reading between the lines, I’m willing to bet this gasbag is a fussy, ter- ritorial neat-freak who would make Felix Unger look like a hobo. As for his ill-concealed bitterness toward women his age, why, how dare they occupy themselves with their gardens and grandbabies instead of with him! I’m sure he is involved in theatrical events — as long as he gets to play the lead. He might appear to be a nice catch, but he sounds like a crusty old crab to me. — Queen Tut Everybody loves a 'sale' — except in stock market You've heard the expres- sion "timing is everything." That holds true in the stock market as well as in life. Most people have bad tim- ing when it comes to invest- ing because they're led by their emotions. So it might be better to say that when it comes to investing, the most important thing is "time in the market," not "timing the mar- ket." Financial Engines, the 401(k) plan adviser used by 120 of the Fortune 500 compa- nies to offer individualized investment advice to plan participants, has just exam- ined the portfolios of more than 2.8 million plan partic- ipants in 272 employer plans. The latest report is dis- mal -- not only because of the downturn in the markets two years ago, but because employees panicked and instead of continuing to invest, they cut back on their contributions and chose "safer" funds. As a result, Financial Engines projects that the typical participant will be able to replace only 45 per- cent of pre-retirement income -- compared with a 70 percent goal. Sure, it's obvious that people are scared of the market, since this has been the first prolonged recession and bear market that most working people have seen in their lifetimes. In the 1970s, the Dow stayed below 900 for a decade -- FREE! •COATS • HATS • GLOVES • SCARVES • BLANKETS • COLD WEATHER CLOTHING Free Goodies & Info Everyone Welcome SAT. NOV. 13th 8 a.m. to Noon At Bethel Church 625 Luther Rd, Red Bluff HELP US SPREAD THE WORD Call 527-2151 for more information Sponsored by associates of the but it didn't matter so much then because most people worked toward guaranteed pensions. Individuals didn't have responsibility for their own 401(k) contributions and investment choices. Human nature couldn't do much damage to those pensions compared with the havoc that emotion can wreak with IRAs and 401(k)s. Here's what the study found: Employees have cut back their contributions so much that 39 percent don't put away enough to get the full employer match. That's up from 33 percent in 2008. Workers are so scared about the market -- or so stressed by debts or job loss in the family -- that they're literally walking away from "free money" in the employer match. That just doesn't make sense, espe- cially if you're clipping coupons and cutting spend- ing in other areas of your life. Don't leave that money on the table. It's a strange but well- documented psychological phenomenon that people rush to buy everything on sale -- except for stocks. It seems that the human psyche doesn't equate spending money on some- thing like a car that -- no matter how good the deal -- loses value when you drive it out of the showroom, with taking the risk of losing actual dollars in the stock market. The car is a sure loser, while the stocks have a high probability of Don’t Miss Out! FREE MEAL increasing in value, depend- ing on how long you hold them. Yet, those who buy stocks "on sale" have a much greater probability of winding up with better results in the end than those who rush in to buy as the market is making new highs. T. Rowe Price did a compelling study that I first wrote about a few years ago. It bears repeating. They compared the end results for four investors who each contributed $500 per month to a retirement plan for 30 years, using an S&P 500 index fund. Two of those investors started out just before two of the worst bear markets in history -- 1929 and 1970. those years of buying shares at low prices gave the investors more shares. Then when the market did soar, they were in a better posi- tion to gain from the next bull market. Terry Savage The Savage The others started out in 1950 and 1979 -- just before two great bull markets. The surprising result: The ending account bal- ances of the two investors who started in bear markets were more than double those of the two investors who began contributing at the start of decades with strong bull markets. Then, as now, it was dis- couraging to keep investing monthly in a market that showed poor returns. The S&P 500 actually had a negative (-0.9 percent) return from 1929 to 1938. And the stock market had a far below average 5.9 per- cent return in the decade of the 1970s. The big difference? All Paid Political Advertisement VOTE “Jim” Byrne for City Council Good Government Starts Locally James E Truth on Money I'm quite sure you're thinking that it's different this time. Many peo- ple look at our national debt and figure America is going down the drain. But I'm quite sure it felt equally hopeless in the 1930s (when, yes, even- tually a war boosted the economy) or in the 1970s (when an unpredicted technology boom rescued the economy). We have no idea what will come along next. I'm betting on something that will be exciting and posi- tive. Maybe it will come from nanotechnology -- a new kind of fuel or energy device that will ignite the next boom. Or maybe you're right, and our free enterprise system will never recover. If you're right, and the greatest economic engine in history disappears, you'll have more to worry about than your stock invest- ments. But if history repeats, as it always does in slightly different ways, and America once again pros- pers, then you will have missed out on a lifetime opportunity to invest. And that's The Savage Truth. 645 Main St., Red Bluff • 529-2482 We’re now booking gourmet catering for your Holiday Parties Call us to get a quote, or book your party www.californiakitchencompany.com Family should be tested for Marfan sydrome DEAR DR. GOTT: Recently, all three of my chil- dren went to a chi- ropractor, since all have back prob- lems. The doctor suggested having my middle child seen by a heart spe- cialist because he has flat feet, a curved spine, an indented chest and protrud- ing shoulder bones. It was a good call because the car- diologist found that he has an enlarged aortic valve (following an EKG and an ultrasound). He is now rec- ommending that my son have an MRI of his heart and see a geneticist to determine if he has Marfan syndrome. My son is 14 years old and has asthma, but otherwise, we just thought he was skinny. What are your suggestions about any information the geneticist needs? DEAR READER: Mar- fan syndrome is a genetic disorder that affects con- nective tissues. These tis- sues are present throughout the body and integral to normal functioning. Because of this, Marfan syndrome can disrupt development and function in several areas of the body, including (but not limited to) the heart, eyes, skeleton and blood vessels. Symptoms vary greatly among sufferers, even among family members who are affected. Some experience life-threatening complications while others have only mild effects. Some may not even know they are affected. Marfan typically worsens with age. Signs and symptoms may include a breastbone that protrudes outward or dips inward; a tall, slender build; flat feet; heart mur- murs; a curved spine; dis- proportionately long arms, legs, fingers and toes; extreme nearsightedness; and a high, arched palate with crowded teeth. Marfan syndrome is caused by a defect (there are actually several defects, all of which can lead to Marfan) in the gene that enables the body to pro- duce a protein that gives connective tissue strength and elasticity. This defect is inherited dominantly, meaning that only one copy of the defective gene is needed in order for the disorder to present. This means that most of those affected also have a parent who is affected. About 25 percent of cases are the result of a spontaneous mutation. Chances of two unaffected individuals hav- ing a child with Marfan in about one in 10,000. An individual who is affected on the other hand has a 50 percent chance of having a child with the disorder if the other parent is unaffect- ed. I did find a case of a newborn who had two affected parents (neither of whom knew they had the syndrome). The baby exhibited symptoms from birth and suffered severe congestive heart failure. He passed at 4 months of age from complications of pneumonia, and it was thought by the researchers that the baby had inherited Dr. Peter Gott defective genes from both parents, thus causing his exacerbated symp- toms at birth. The chances of this happening again are slim. Two affected individu- als have a 25 per- cent chance of having a totally unaffected child or a child with two defective genes (likely fatal) and a 50 percent chance of having a child with only one defec- tive gene and the disorder. Men and women are equally affected. Marfan occurs in all races and eth- nic groups. Complications depend on what areas of the body are affected. This differs depending on the defect. The most serious compli- cations arise when the heart and blood vessels are affected. Valve malforma- tions and aortic aneurysm or dissection are most com- mon. If the eyes are affect- ed, lens dislocation, retinal tears or detachment, cataracts and glaucoma may occur. COPD, sleep apnea, emphysema and collapsed lung can result when the lungs are affect- ed. Shortness of breath dur- ing mild or moderate activ- ity may also result if the chest is concave (indented) or if the spine is severely curved, as it restricts the expansion of the lungs on inhalation. Many cases of Marfan syndrome can be diag- nosed without genetic test- ing, but in some cases, these tests may not provide a clear answer. In this instance, referral to a geneticist for testing may be necessary. If Marfan is present in a family mem- ber, other members should consider testing to deter- mine if they also have the disorder. As stated above, some cases may be mild and unnoticed, but it is important to know, espe- cially if you plan on having children, to assess your risk and the risk to the child. There is no cure or treat- ment for Marfan syn- drome; however, treatment of specific issues that result from the condition can help. It is important avoid high-risk activities such as weight lifting, football, surfing, ice hockey, scuba diving and rock climbing. Low-risk activities include bowling, snorkeling, skat- ing, golf, modest hiking and doubles tennis. As for what you need to provide the geneticist, you would be best served by providing your son’s entire medical history, as well as that of your wife, other children and yourself because the odds are that you or your wife is affected and your other children may be, despite outward symptoms. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. THE TEHAMA COUNTY CATTLEWOMEN PRESENT SATURDAY NOVEMBER 6TH, 2010 DOORS OPEN AT 10:00 AM • $25/PERSON CARLIN0’S ROOM AT ROLLING HILLS CASINO LUNCH & FASHION SHOW • BOUTIQUE • COWBOY PANTRY • CATTLEWOMAN OF THE YEAR RESERVATIONS BY OCTOBER 27, 2010 FOR TICKETS & RESERVATIONS, CONTACT SHELLY MACDONALD AT 529-9679