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Thursday, October 21, 2010 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Lovestruck lass’ lessons lost Losing weight in an obese society Dear Annie: I’m a freshman in high school. It has been stress- ful, and I have difficult classes. However, I recently met this amazing guy who lifts my spirits and keeps me grounded. Now, before you start the whole ‘‘teenagers don’t really know what love is’’ speech, I just want to say that I know what love is not, and this is different. We honestly love each other and are planning to move in together when I start college. house. Both are heavy smokers, and the house smells extremely bad. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar There has been chatter in the family about moving the Christmas Eve celebration to a nonsmoking house because there are some newborn great- There is only one problem. He’s a senior, almost 18, and I’m 14. We realize that it’s tech- nically illegal, but we can’t bear the thought of being apart. We are planning to tell my par- ents and get their per- mission for us to date. If we get their OK, is it still illegal? — Mixed- Up Minor Dear Minor: Fine, no lectures. It is not ille- gal to date an older boy. It is illegal for him to have sex with you while you are still a minor. If he loves you, he won’t pressure you to be inti- mate sooner. We know this feels different from any other relationship you’ve had, and that means you are maturing and are capable of developing deeper pas- sions. But it doesn’t mean you will stop changing and growing emotionally. Please be careful. Dear Annie: My in- laws celebrate every Christmas Eve at Grand- ma and Grandpa’s grandchildren. We don’t want them exposed to the secondhand smoke, although Grandma and Grandpa smoke outside when there are guests. I am all in favor of this. The problem is, word got back to Grandma and upset her so much that she cried thinking we would abandon the long tradition of celebrating at her home. Now, no one wants to discuss it because we are afraid of hurting her feelings. However, some of the in-law children believe that in order for change to happen, Grandma needs to know we are serious, and the subject should be broached by one of her children. What do you think? Should we do it? What if Grandma doesn’t budge? Is it OK to boy- cott and not attend? That may cause a rift between some spouses. What about visiting Grandma in general? Is it out of the question to demand that all visits with the great-grand- children take place in a nonsmoking location? — Smokeless in Seattle Dear Seattle: We understand your con- cern, but this visit is only for a single evening once a year. The chil- dren should be OK. If you are worried, open some windows, set up a fan, wear your warmest sweater and wrap the kiddies in lots of blan- kets. Christmas Eve is fraught with meaning for Grandma. One of her children can gently explain the problem and see what she says, but demanding a change will cause major fric- tion. By all means, move the other family gatherings to nonsmok- ing locations, but let her have this one. There may not be too many more. Dear Annie: I take offense at the letter from ‘‘Price of Friendship,’’ who said her friend’s 8- year-old son has ‘‘a sailor’s vocabulary.’’ I am a Navy veteran of 28 years, and one of my many assignments was to teach young civilian men to become sailors. There was never a course on teaching them to use profane language, but I did teach a course on manners, courtesy and how to properly address people. — M.B. USN (Retired) Dear M.B.: We heard from quite a few retired navy personnel who objected to the reader’s comment about a sailor’s vocabulary. Perhaps it’s time to retire this partic- ular stereotype. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast. net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. DEAR DR. GOTT: I am a 50-ish African-American woman with a problem most think I am lucky to have. I can’t stop losing weight. My cholesterol is on the high side, so I can’t eat most high-calorie foods because they also contain a lot of fat. I am also a vegetarian, don’t like sweets very much, and work out at a gym daily. I don’t want to put on much weight. My normal weight is around 100 pounds, and I’m mental- ly comfortable with that. My doctors have looked at the obvious: Dr. Peter Gott They have checked my thyroid and for any digestive disorders. I love food and eat a lot of pasta with veggies sauteed in olive oil. I also love cheese but don’t want to raise my cholesterol levels higher. Other than the weight loss, I’m in excellent shape. Can you give me any suggestions? DEAR READER: There are a number of common causes for weight loss, but you don’t appear to fit the norm. They include malnutrition, depression, chronic diarrhea, drug use, cancer, excessive alcohol con- sumption, eating disorders and loss of appetite. One thing that might be an issue is a dental problem or mouth ulcers. Should you have ill-fitting dentures or canker sores, this might be addressed. If you faint or feel lightheaded, sweat excessively, have increased thirst, palpitations, have hair loss are on laxatives or diuretics, these issues, too, might be considered. They may lead to an underlying cause that your physician has not addressed. You might consider speaking with your doctor regarding a nutritional assessment and making sure that you have had complete laboratory analysis. A vegetarian diet is commonly a healthful one and far better than consuming fast foods on a regular basis. You might choose to speak with a dietician at your local hospital for some fine-tuning that will allow your weight to stabilize. You apparently are burning more calo- ries than you are consuming. A way around this is to supplement your meals with snacks throughout the day. Granola bars, fruit and raw vegeta- bles would be good choices. I don’t know what your breakfast consists of, but you might consid- er making your own cereal with a variety of nuts, cranberries, honey and raisins. Top it with skim milk, and have a glass of orange juice and tea or black coffee. There are countless ways of incorporating good foods into your diet without packing on the pounds, but it may take a little preparation on your part to make this happen. DEAR DR. GOTT: You mentioned ichthammol in a past column as a drawing salve but failed to mention Peruvian balsam, aka Balsam of Peru. My dad introduced me to this product 50 years ago, and it works wonderfully on slivers, stingers, etc. You might want to check this out for yourself. I do enjoy your column and have learned a great deal from it. Keep up the good work. DEAR READER: Frankly, I had never heard of Peruvian balsam prior to your letter but am passing the information on so others might benefit from it. Thank you for sharing this information. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Compelling Home Remedies.” Other read- ers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Salvation Army seeks bell ringers Every year individuals, The campaign starts families, service clubs, gov- ernment agencies, churches and businesses volunteer to "Ring the Bell" for The Sal- vation Army here in Tehama County. Nov. 19 and continues through Dec. 24. The group needs about 300 vol- unteers. To sign up, please call 527-8530 between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. and ask for Crys- tal. Contributions may be sent to The Salvation Army, PO Box 935, Red Bluff, 96080 or on line at www.redbluffsalarmy.org.