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Tuesday, October 12, 2010 – Daily News – 5B Dominance dreams demented? Irregular periods require investigation Dear Annie: My wonderful boyfriend of two years recently told me he has rape fantasies — both of being the rapist and of being raped. He said that, for obvious reasons, it’s not some- thing he talks about. But things are getting really serious between us, and he doesn’t want to keep any secrets hidden from me. I am fairly open-minded, but this seems strange, and I’m not comfortable discussing it with my friends or family. I am part of sev- eral Internet communities, how- ever, and asked my chat buddies what they thought. Many of them said it was a perfectly took his family and walked out. Now he says I need to apologize. I think I have the right to have only family over if that is what my wife and I want. It’s still our home. I have tried to talk to him, but Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar normal ‘‘kink,’’ and that fantasy isn’t the same as reality. It doesn’t mean he would ever do it. Is that true? My boyfriend is a wonderful guy, and I love him, but I’d be lying if I said this revelation didn’t set me on edge a bit. When he first told me, I actually checked the national sex offender registry, but he wasn’t on it. Annie, I just need some reassurance. Should I be worried about this, or has my life been more sheltered than I thought? — Can’t Help Being Concerned Dear Can’t Help: Try not to overre- act. Rape fantasies are fairly common, even among men, and they are actually about dominance and submission. Your boyfriend doesn’t want to hurt you. He may simply get turned on by being total- ly in charge or being completely overtak- en. He should not force you into any- thing, but if you are willing to role-play with him, it could add excitement to your love life. The choice is yours. Dear Annie: I have a situation that has me up a tree. Whenever my wife and I have a family get-together, one of our grown sons will show up with extra kids. I have begged him to call first, but he just shows up. When they do ask if their child can bring a friend, we usually say OK. We have a large family, and it’s a lot of cooking. The last time we had the family over, our oldest son came with one of his kid’s friends, and when I said he should have asked, he got angry and The Faculty Initiative for Transformative Learning (FITL), a fac- ulty learning communi- ty at California State University, Chico, is offering “Qigong: he won’t return my calls. If you say I need to apologize, I will. — Lost for Words Dear Lost: You don’t need to apologize. This is your home, and your son should ask before bringing extra people over, even children. Now decide how important it is to you, because your son sounds too stub- born and selfish to admit he’s wrong. Sometimes, it helps maintain a good relationship to say you are sorry even when you are not at fault. We recom- mend doing that and explaining to your son how much you would appreciate it if he would let you know in advance when he is planning to bring a guest. And ask your wife to back you up. Dear Annie: I did not agree with your answer to ‘‘Choking in S.W. Washing- ton,’’ whose neighbors smoke on their porch and it blows into their home. Why does she have the right to tell someone where they can smoke on their own prop- erty? I cannot believe anyone would have the nerve to approach a neighbor about this. If the smoke is so bad, they should stop letting their children play with the neighbors’ kids. — Upset in Florida Dear Florida: Although people are entitled to smoke on their own property, when it starts infiltrating their neighbors’ homes, it becomes secondhand smoke, which is linked to allergies, asthma and cancer. It is not unreasonable to request that they blow in another direction. But we also recommend fans. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. Contemplative Education Series in Chico Intention and Attention” presented by David Philhour on Monday, Oct. 18, 5-6:30 p.m. in Selvester’s Café. The demonstration and practice session are free and open to the public. For more information on this speaker series, contact DuFon at 898- 6151 or by e-mail at mDuFon@csuchico.edu. DEAR DR. GOTT: My daughter is 19 and has always had irregular periods (every other month or longer). Her last period was in February. She is not sexually active, and a gynecological exam was normal. The doctor prescribed Provera and wanted to start her on a regimen of birth-con- trol pills. She has a history of migraines and is reluctant to try this treatment. What are her options? She had a lifestyle change living away at college last year but did not have a weight change. Many times, she will have PMS but won’t have her cycle. Should we get another exam that includes a thyroid check or anything other than a routine gynecological exam? DEAR READER: Adolescent girls don’t always have regular periods, especially during the first few years, but as they age, they should experi- ence a gradual change to regularity. By 19, your daughter should be hav- ing regular menstrual cycles. Average cycles occur every 28 days. Young teens can cycle every 21 to 45 days, and adults from 21 to 35 days. If she is not, further examination and testing should be performed. I recommend your daughter request that the situation be looked into fur- ther with blood tests to check various hormone levels to check for a thyroid condition, polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), low estrogen or progestin levels and perhaps an ultrasound to check for physical abnormalities such as deformity or cysts. Birth-control pills are often pre- scribed in order to regulate hormone levels, which can then regulate cycles in those whose hormones fluctuate or are consistently low. Unless an under- lying cause of your daughter’s lack of menstruation can be found, this may be an option to consider. Tell your daughter to insist on fur- ther testing to get to the bottom of the situation. DEAR DR. GOTT: I am a 72-year- old woman who has lived with a weight problem since puberty. My The Feather River Hatchery kicked off the statewide effort to spawn returning fall Chinook salmon this week. Department of Fish and Game (DFG) hatchery workers took more than half a million eggs during the first week of spawning. Over the next two months, the Feather River Hatchery will take approximately 12 mil- lion eggs in order to produce a total of 10 million Chinook salmon for release next spring. The Feather River Hatchery is the first of the three major state-run hatcheries in the Sacra- mento River system to start spawning opera- tions. Mokelumne and Nimbus hatcheries spawning operations will also commence later this fall, in October and November. Together, the three hatcheries should har- vest enough eggs to raise more than 20 mil- lion young salmon for release into the Sacra- Dr. Peter Gott husband and I have been on the no-flour, no-sugar diet for the past 10 weeks. Although the weight loss is slow, there are some things I have learned about myself. First, after years of yo-yoing on Weight Watch- ers, including being a lecturer for them, I never learned how to keep it off. Secondly, I dis- covered that I have an addic- tion to flour and sugar prod- ucts. I suffered withdrawal symptoms when I first gave them up. I don’t know why I didn’t know this before, but it is possible I didn’t want to face it. This program of eating is finally a way of life and not a diet. Thank you for helping me to become aware. DEAR READER: I am glad to hear that you have found a program that you can stick with. Weight loss on my diet isn’t going to happen overnight. As I have said in the past, the weight gain doesn’t occur overnight, so the loss won’t, either. On average, people on my diet lose up to five pounds in the first week (mostly water weight from the diet change) and then drop down to about one or two pounds each week after that. Some weeks may be greater, and others less. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “A Strategy for Losing Weight: An Introduction to the No Flour, No Sugar Diet.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 enve- lope and a $2 check or money order payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092. Be sure mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Salmon spawning starts at DFG hatcheries These massive mento River and its trib- utaries next spring. Each hatchery has a viewing area where visi- tors can watch the spawning process. At Nimbus and Feather River hatch- eries, thousands of schoolchildren tour the facilities each year. The visitors center at Nimbus Hatchery includes a playground with replicas of giant salmon that are enjoyed by young and old alike. For more information about spawning sched- ules and educational opportunities at each hatchery, please visit the DFG website at www.dfg.ca.gov/fish/Ha tcheries/HatList.asp. Around the state, there are eight state-run hatcheries, all of which will participate in the salmon spawning effort. Those hatcheries, along with federally run hatcheries, will together be responsible for the release of 40 million juvenile salmon into California waters. spawning efforts were put in place over the last 50 years to offset fish losses caused by dams that block salmon from spawning in historically used waters. Today, hatcheries are multi-million dollar operations that employ scientific methods to spawn, rear and return healthy young salmon to various river systems each year. At each hatchery, a team of managers and staff monitor the progress of batches of eggs that will become tomorrows returning salmon, while patholo- gists work with each hatchery to ensure fish health. Once the young salmon reach 2 to 4 inches in length, one quarter of stock will be marked and implanted with a code wire tag prior to release. DFG biologists use the infor- mation from the tags to chart their survival, catch and return rates. Tehama County History …as it happened The Daily News’ Pages of History Edition A collection of 32 reduced full pages pulled from copies of The Daily News, Daily People’s Cause and Evening Sentinel, previously published over the past 125 years. $100 per copy Tax included Available at the front counter at D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY 545 Diamond Avenue, Red Bluff Office Hours: 8:30-5:00 M-F