Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/17448
Thursday, October 7, 2010 – Daily News – 3B Meddling maddens merry mom Post-op symptoms unpleasant Dear Annie: I am a 25-year-old woman with two daughters. I became pregnant with my oldest when I was 20, but the relationship with her father fiz- zled. My current husband is a lov- ing father and a good provider, but he comes from a troubled back- ground, and we decided it was best to have only one more child. Both of my daughters had complica- tions during delivery and almost died. We’re blessed to have them, but I felt a tubal ligation was the right thing to do. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar private matter between you and your husband. Dear Annie: I’m a 23-year-old transsexual man, and my mother is actively sabotag- ing my life and transition. I came out to her six years ago, and despite my trying to keep the lines of conversation open, she has been making every effort to stop me. She has outed me to People often ask me if I’m planning to have more children. When I politely respond, ‘‘No, I’ve had a tubal,’’ they frequently make negative comments, asking why I did that or why didn’t my husband get a vasectomy. I’m tired of explaining the pain of almost losing my daugh- ters at birth, and quite frankly, I do not regret my choice. But I get so angry when people assume I did something selfish. How do I deal with their remarks? — Tired of Hearing It Dear Tired: You are giving out way more information than neces- sary. It’s nobody’s busi- ness if you plan to have more children, if you’ve had a tubal, if your hus- band has had a vasectomy or anything else. When they ask if you are plan- ning to have more chil- dren, plaster a big smile on your face and reply, ‘‘Why do you need to know?’’ If they are rude enough to persist, tell them that is a employers, which eventu- ally resulted in me losing my job. I’ve spent the past six months attempting to find employment while living under her roof to save money. This results in arguing and tears at almost every turn. I know she loves me, but this has to change. My savings account is dwindling, and I am at the end of my rope. It’s a little late to go back in the clos- et, and I will not de-transi- tion just to make her happy. How can I make her realize that by trying to get her daughter back, she’s completely alienat- ing her son and ruining my life? I’m completely stuck, with nowhere else to go. Please print this so parents of transgendered people will understand that they can seriously impact their children’s lives in a nega- tive way. I’m hoping my mother reads this, because nothing coming from me gets through to her. — Carl, not Carol Dear Carl: While your mother is not handling this well, please try to under- stand how upsetting and confusing your situation is A free workshop for professionals and community members entitled, “Deadly Triangle: Older Adults and Suicide Prevention” with speaker, Dr. Patrick Arbore, Ed.D. from the Institute on Aging in San Francisco is being held 9 a.m. to noon on Oct. 22. Theworkshop, provided by Passages, the Adult Services Coordinating Council for her. PFLAG (pflag.org) has a transgen- der support group that can offer some pointers for talking to your mother and helping her accept your decision. In the meantime, look for any job and start saving your money. You need to find other lodging as soon as possible. Dear Annie: This is in response to ‘‘California,’’ a breast cancer survivor who resented the constant expectation that she talk about her illness. I am a 6- year breast cancer sur- vivor, and I wear this badge with honor. I volun- teer with the American Cancer Society and am proud to be a ‘‘Reach To Recovery’’ volunteer who calls newly referred breast cancer patients to talk about my experience and to share hope. But I understand how ‘‘California’’ wants to be seen as more than her ill- ness, and I have a solution for her. When people ask if my health is good, I smile and say, ‘‘Yes, thank you,’’ and then immediate- ly turn the conversation onto them. I ask how they’ve been, showing genuine interest, and remark on how good, healthy or fit they appear. People love to talk about themselves. — Vermont Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.ne t, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. and the California State University, Chico’s Interdisciplinary Center on Aging, will be at the Masonic Family Center of Chico, 1110 W. East Ave. Reg- istration begins at 8:30 am. Space is limited and you’ll need to register for this event by Oct. 15. Information available at www.csuchico.edu/icoa. FEATURES DEAR DR. GOTT: I just had surgery on my right shoulder, and the day following, I began vomiting and having gas every time I ate. My doctor blames these events on the anesthesia during my four-hour surgery. Is there anything I can do? DEAR READER: General anesthesia takes a person from a conscious to an unconscious state so an invasive surgical Dr. Peter Gott procedure can be performed. Anesthesiologists, nurse anesthetists and other trained professionals deter- mine the amount of anesthesia to be administered, depending on the proce- dure to be performed. Some people remain anesthetized for a short time during a relatively simple process and are released the same day. Others, such as yours, take substan- tially longer and require hospitaliza- tion for several days following. While you didn’t mention what surgery was performed, four hours is extensive and could certainly be responsible for the unwanted results. Some people are fortunate enough not to have any side effects at all. Others can be rather debilitated by them. Side effects commonly appear within a few hours and disappear while a person is still in the recovery room. They can include dehydration, nau- sea, headache, joint or muscle pain, or a person may feel as if he or she had too much to drink the night before. Unusual but entirely possible side effects can include nightmares, uncontrollable shaking and chills. Be sure to check with your surgeon if you experience jaundice, weight loss, blood in your stool or have symptoms lasting two weeks or longer. He or she will want to be assured your postoperative recovery is pro- gressing well. Otherwise, the symptoms should Free workshop on elder suicide prevention copy should send a self-addressed resolve on their own. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Digestive Gas.” Other readers who would like a stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. DEAR DR. GOTT: I read your column faithfully and find my work-related musings and questions addressed there. I would like to comment on your recent instructions to a woman who asked about a diuretic and a potassium pill — that large pills can be crushed in a baggie and be taken with apple- sauce. Potassium pills are usually quite large and should not be chewed or crushed. Sometimes they can be bro- ken in half or dispensed in a capsule, which can be opened and sprinkled on applesauce or yogurt for ease in swal- lowing. Or they may be available as a liq- uid. However, there are a great many pills that should never be crushed. The safety and efficacy of a medica- tion relies on proper administration. Keep up your great work! DEAR READER: Generally speak- ing, if a medication should not be crushed or chewed, the prescription label provides the appropriate infor- mation, but I was too general in advis- ing readers to crush pills that might be too large to swallow. Additional labeling information often includes whether to take the medication with food or on an empty stomach and the time of day to take it. It may also advise the patient not to drink or drive because of possible drowsiness. Thank you for picking me up on this. Your point is well-taken and a good one. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com.