Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/161058
Thursday, August 29, 2013 – Daily News 3B FEATURES Family in denial over handicapped cousin Moderat alcohol safe Dear Standstill: You Dear Annie: I come don't need to expose your from an extended family cousin's condition to the rest that is mostly successful. of the family. They already However, one of my know. Forcing it into the cousins was born mentally light will not help and may and physically handiostracize you, preventing capped, and the family you from being a source of story is that her parents support. Please keep listenhave incompatible blood types. However, they had Annie's ing and talking with your cousin, making her feel valanother child 10 years later, ued. Also contact the even though they claim the doctor told them not to, and by Kathy Mitchell National Organization on this child was born com- and Marcy Sugar Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (nofas.org) at 1-800-66pletely normal. A few years ago, my mother dis- NOFAS. They offer resources that closed that the cousin was really can help your cousin and also proborn with fetal alcohol syndrome. vide information for you in dealing (My aunt drank heavily during that with this. Dear Annie: My husband and I pregnancy.) However, whenever anyone broaches the subject, that travel via RV six months out of the person is verbally attacked by the year. I often strike up conversations entire family and written off as evil. with strangers. My husband, who What bothers me is that my aunt never initiates conversations with has always shunned her first child anyone, will then butt in and take while doting on the younger one. over. He rambles on and on, always During family functions, my older talking about what he's done or cousin is mostly ignored. I feel I'm where he's been. He won't let the the only one who has real conversa- rest of us get in another word. How tions with her and cares what she can I make him stop? — Jane in an has to say. I am considering writing RV Dear Jane: There are myriad my cousin a letter to say that I know the truth and am so sorry she has reasons why people interrupt and been robbed of a normal life. The take over conversations: insecurity only problem is if she shares my let- (the need to impress others), hearter with the rest of the family. How ing loss (if he doesn't let anyone do I help my cousin and bring the else speak, he doesn't have to truth to light without causing World respond to things he cannot hear), narcissism (no one else could possiWar III? — At a Standstill Mailbox bly be more interesting than he is), control (you shouldn't be making friends on your own), or simply cluelessness and anxiety. Talk to your husband, tell him how annoying and intrusive his behavior is, and explore the possibilities. He may not even realize he is monopolizing the conversation, so perhaps you could work on a signal to let him know when he needs to stop talking. He surely will not want others to find him boorish. Dear Annie: I have another response for "Paducah,'' who said his relatives make a big deal about his alcohol consumption, but say nothing about overeating. He claims there is no difference between people who are addicted to alcohol and those who are addicted to food. It's all addiction, and people should stop being hypocrites or making excuses for food addicts. I'd like to tell him the "difference'' is that people who overeat do not get in a car and kill some innocent person because their driving skills are impaired. — Shreveport Lass Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Expert answers to common DMV questions SACRAMENTO – Do you have questions about general driving related requirements like registration or insurance? Are you unclear about laws and restrictions related to driving? The California Department of Motor Vehicles has answers. "Save Time, Go Online," at www.dmv.ca.gov. You can submit any DMVrelated questions at AskDMV@dmv.ca.gov 1. Q. I'm not sure how much I'll have to pay for my vehicle registration and I'm trying to budget for it. Is there a way to find out how much I'll have to pay? A. Yes. By going online at https://mv.dmv.ca.gov/Fee CalculatorWeb/index.jsp, you will find a vehicle registration fee calculator which allows you to calculate an estimate of vehicle registration fees and determine Vehicle License Fees (VLF) for tax purposes. Additional calculators are also available for new purchases, vehicles from out of state, and renewals. "Save Time, Go Online" at www.dmv.ca.gov or call 1-800-777-0133. 2. Q. I have recently noticed a lot of vehicles for sale in a vacant lot near the local business where I frequently shop; it looks terrible and is clogging the area with cars, traffic and trash. What can I do about reporting this nuisance? A. You may be observing Curbstoning activity, the repeated, unlicensed "flipping" of unsafe, used cars for profit. Curbstoners are unlicensed dealers who buy and sell vehicles without a license, proper permits or legally established place of business. Be suspicious of vehicles suddenly parked in undesignated areas. If you suspect wrongdoing you are encouraged to report the suspected unlicensed dealer activity (Curbstoners) to the Department's Investigations Division. Please complete the Record of Complaint Form (INV 172). Follow the directions for completing the form and mail it to an Investigations office in your area, the address listing is included on the f o r m : http://apps.dmv.ca.gov/for ms/inv/inv172.pdf 3. Q. Is it legal to drill a camera into a California license plate? The camera would be pointed through the "o" in California. The hole would probably be about a 1-inch hole. The camera will be used as a backup camera. Our car audio shop usually installs them in the license plate frame, but this customer wants to put it in the license plate itself. A. It's not legal because it constitutes tampering with a California license plate. It's against the law to tamper or obscure any portion of a California license plate. And since we are on the subject of license plates, remember that California law requires all passenger vehicles to have a license plate in the back and another one in the front. 4. Q. I am frequently seeing Disabled Parking Placards being misused by drivers who are not disabled, but who use the placards that belong to someone else. Those drivers illegally use disabled parking locations and free metered parking spaces, thus making them unavailable to the individuals truly in need of these spaces. How do I report these individuals? A. If you see or know of Disabled Parking Placard abuse, the DMV encourages you to report it. Try to obtain the license plate of the vehicle, the location of the incident, and a detailed description or picture of the driver. Follow the directions for completing the Record of Complaint Form (INV 172) and mail it to a DMV Investigations office in your area – see address listing on the form: http://apps.dmv.ca.gov/for ms/inv/inv172.pdf 5. Q: I purchased new, personalized license plates online and now DMV is telling me the choice I wanted will not be made. Why didn't the program prevent me from purchasing the plate in the first place? A. Even if the online Special Interest License Plate ordering program allows you to request your plate choice, the department has the right to refuse any combination of letters and/or letters and numbers that may carry connotations offensive to good taste and decency, or which would be misleading or in conflict with any license plate series now issued. All plate orders go through a manual review process before plates will be manufactured. One of the biggest reasons a plate configuration will be rejected, is customers substitute numbers for letters or vice versa. This is not allowed as it may be confused with an already existing plate. For example: IKIDDIE cannot be substituted for 1KIDDIE or vice versa. 6. I lost my driver license? Do I need to return to a DMV field office to get a new one? A: Yes, as part of the Department of Motor Vehicles' ongoing effort to protect your identity, an in-office visit is required. This is to ensure record security and protection against identity theft by verifying who is applying for the duplicate driver license. An important reminder, make an appointment before you visit the DMV. Save Time, Go Online. To schedule an appointment and to learn about other DMV services, visit us online at www.dmv.ca.gov or call 1-800-777-0133. HOME SERVICES DIRECTORY Online: Publishes 24/7 $ 112 Print and Online Per Month No early cancellation, non-refundable www.redbluffdailynews.com Three additional online locations at no extra cost! In Print Every Tues. - Thurs.- Sat. after heart attack who had recovDEAR DOCered from a first TOR K: My husheart attack. They band recently had observed them a mild heart from within two attack. He's never months of the been much of a attack for about drinker, but now four years. During he wants to have that time, men wine with dinner Dr. K who averaged two every night by Anthony L. drinks a day were because he's heard that it's good for Komaroff, M.D. 59 percent less likely to have the heart. What do additional cardiovascular you think? DEAR READER: Not events than the men who long ago a patient of mine, abstained from alcohol. a 45-year-old man, asked Heavier drinking was less me if he should have a protective. Providing further evidrink every night to lower his risk of heart disease. I dence, a 2010 analysis of replied, "Absolutely." A more than 16,000 patients few months later, another found that moderate man in his 40s asked me drinking is safe and benethe same question. I ficial for people with cardiovascular disease. replied, "I wouldn't." That's reassuring — Am I confused? No, they were two different but it doesn't necessarily people, and different mean that alcohol is right advice can be needed for for your husband. Fortudifferent people. There are nately, moderate alcohol few "one size fits all" intake does not have a negative interaction with answers in medicine. Most people who drink the medicines prescribed alcoholic beverages regu- most often to heart attack larly, and in moderation, patients: statins, beta have a reduced risk of blockers, ACE inhibitors heart attack. Many studies and low-dose aspirin. Why did I discourage involving tens of thousands of people have one patient from having a drink each day? I knew shown that. Although red wine gets the patient had gotten into most of the praise, regular trouble with alcohol when moderate intake of white he was younger. For that wine, beer and liquor all reason, he no longer have similar effects. Mod- drank. While a drink a day erate alcohol intake may probably would have protect the heart by boost- reduced his risk of heart ing levels of HDL troubles, it might also ("good") cholesterol to a have started him back on the road to alcohol abuse. similar degree. For men, the best And excessive alcohol use "dose" is one to two could have led to many drinks a day, counting 5 health problems, includounces of wine, 12 ounces ing heart disease. Alcohol can have powof beer, or 1 1/2 ounces of liquor as one drink. erful effects on the body Women should limit (and mind), for good or ill. themselves to one drink a Used in moderation, it can day. (Heavy drinking contribute to your hustakes a toll on the heart band's continued recovand circulation, along ery. with the liver and other Dr. Komaroff is a organs.) So moderate alcohol physician and professor Harvard Medical consumption is good for at To send a healthy heart. But you School. go to are asking if it is safe or questions, AskDoctorK.com, or beneficial after a heart write: Ask Doctor K, 10 attack. To find out, French sci- Shattuck St., Second entists evaluated 353 men Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Dems host Labor Day picnic The public is invited to the Tehama County Democrats' Labor Day picnic to be held 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday, Sept. 2 at Discovery Garden, 1000 Sale Lane, Red Bluff. There is no charge for this event with hot dogs being provided and barbecued by Wild Willy's Smokehouse and watermelons donated by LicketySplit Watermelons. Join this salute to American workers event for games, music, tours of the Sacramento Discovery Center and a chance to meet office holders and candidates. Please bring a dish to share and lawn chairs. Take Sale Lane south from Antelope Boulevard and continue until you see "the old oak tree" and signs for the picnic. Bring your friends and family and help make this an annual tradition. Information available at 7365200. Building Construction Clock Repair R. G. 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