Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/159537
Tuesday, August 27, 2013 – Daily News 3B FEATURES Reader detests physical intimacy We live in the same town. I Dear Annie: I am 46 offered to be the caregiver at years old and have one their home, but my daughproblem. I hate sex. ter-in-law prefers to take the Everyone, including my baby with her on a 50-mile boyfriend of seven years, round-trip to a daycare near thinks there's something her job. I was devastated by wrong with me. I'm sure that decision, but accepted there is, but I have hated it. having sex since I was first What I'm having trouble intimate. I can't believe he Annie's understanding is how often I has stayed with me this see the baby. During my few long. I don't like to be touched by Kathy Mitchell short visits, I have not felt by anyone. As soon as and Marcy Sugar comfortable in their home. I communicate with my son someone gets close, I move away so they don't accidentally because my daughter-in-law seems brush against me. I force myself to very standoffish. I told my son I have sex with my boyfriend and don't wish to be a burden on their pretend I enjoy it because I know household routine, but twice I made it's not fair to deny him. But the arrangements to see the baby only whole time we are being intimate, to be told on the day of that visit I'm thinking, ''Is this ever going to that I had to leave after 30 minutes. end?'' What is wrong with me? — The last visit was five weeks ago. I phoned my son and begged to Maryland Miss Dear Maryland: Sex should be see the baby more often. He agreed a pleasurable activity. There are at the time that once a week people who are disinterested or (depending on their schedule) was ambivalent about sex. But someone not unreasonable. I set up an hour who dislikes being touched may visit for this week, and when I have psychological issues that were arrived at their door, they were not resolved or sensory issues that preparing to leave the house. My were never addressed. We com- visit, which meant so much to me, mend you for being willing to work was totally forgotten. My son and his wife have known on this. Please talk to your doctor and also contact AASECT (Ameri- each other only 13 months. can Association of Sexuality Edu- Between the pregnancy, the marcators, Counselors and Therapists) riage, the birth and moving into at aasect.org. They may be able to their home, I know it's been stressguide you toward a healthier, happi- ful, so I've tried to be patient. What is a reasonable expectation for visiter outlook. Dear Annie: I am a first-time ing the new baby? — Want To grandma to a beautiful baby girl. Know My Granddaughter Mailbox Dear Want: There is no definitive timetable for visiting. It depends on the flexibility and schedules of those involved, as well as the willingness of the participants. Your daughter-in-law apparently is not keen on having you around, and your son is caught in the middle. Don't push. Instead, make it your goal to become closer to your daughter-in-law. Be her friend. Call her. Ask how she's doing. Let her know you value her and think she's a good wife and mother. See whether you can arrange an excursion to the mall or a concert — whatever interests her. If you can help her to be more comfortable around you, the visits will likely increase. Dear Annie: Please tell ''Need Help,'' the teenager who has mood swings, that most teachers check their email throughout the summer and during school vacations. No matter when it is, most of us are just an email away. We still care about our students, regardless of whether it's summertime, winter vacation or spring break. That letter broke my heart. It sounds like a student I had this year. I hope he emails me. — Teacher in Louisville, Ky. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Grief: The journey of healing All of us are touched at some time in life by death and significant loss. Navigating the course through grief and learning to live again without our beloved other or the change that has occurred in life can be daunting and overwhelming. The journey of healing leads us into the dark hallways of denial, bargaining, anger, depression and finally at acceptance where we learn to come to terms with life without our sacred other, whether it be a parent, sibling, spouse or friend. "Grief: The Journey of Healing" is an evening of remembering our beloved other, reflecting upon the life shared, coping with significant loss and the journey of healing while allowing ourselves the space and support to express our grief and loss through contemplation, reflection, music, silence and ritual. Not all loss is the passing of someone in death. Loss occurs when a relationship ends, when health is compromised, mobility is lost, career changes occur, we lose a house due to economics, any place where significant change occurs. Mercy Hospice and Lynn E. Fritz, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, are collaborating to offer this evening for all those grieving a loss. Join Lynn E. Fritz, licensed marriage and family therapist, Mercy Hospice Volunteers, and guest presenter, Pam Sanchez, chaplain, 78:30 p.m. Tuesday, Sept. 10. The evening will be in the beautiful outdoor setting of Mercy Oaks, 100 Mercy Oaks Drive, Redding, with Native American flute music provided by Patricia L. Bay, licensed marriage and family therapist, PsyD and percussion provided by Rich Bay. Co-sponsored by the Center for Spiritual Living, Redding Regional Chapter-California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, One Safe Place. Refreshments following the presentation will be provided by Mercy Hospice. Those in attendance are invited to bring a picture of their loved one or a symbol representing the individual and the loss they have experienced. The evening is free, open to the public of all ages and no advanced reservations are required. Attendees are encouraged to arrive early. For more information, call Fritz at 243-8862 or Mercy Hospice at 245-4070. Event flyers and information are available at www.lynnfritz.com. Estate Planning, Wills and Trusts Probate and Trust Administration 349 Pine Street P.O. Box 1009 Red Bluff, California, 96080 TEL (530) 527-7500 FAX (530) 527-6500 Cheryl@AttorneyCherylForbes.com Estate Planning For Future Generations Red Bluff Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram is pleased to announce that VERN PACKER has joined our sales staff. 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