Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/157389
8A Daily News – Friday, August 23, 2013 FEATURES Problems with husband's ex Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 20 years. He has four children with his exwife, who lives nearby. The divorce was not pleasant, and my Annie's husband still has a lot of resentment. Neither of by Kathy Mitchell us is comfortable and Marcy Sugar around the ex. So how do I explain to my 30year-old stepdaughter, ''Susie,'' that when we have gatherings with his kids, we don't want to include their mother? Three of their kids live in the area and can visit Mom whenever they wish. When Susie comes into town, all of the kids gather at their mother's, and she never invites us. That's fine. But for some reason, Susie feels that since her mother is single and ''alone,'' she should be invited to our home whenever Susie is in town. Until now, I've been nice about it and included her. But I recently found out that the ex has been saying hurtful things about me to the kids, who apparently don't defend me. I've always made myself available for emergency calls, babysitting the grandchildren, etc. How do I handle the next visit? — No Longer So Nice Dear No: With kindness. The ex is going to say bitter things, and when her kids are with her, Mailbox they don't defend you because it would create a problem with their mother. We urge you not to make an issue of this. They obviously have a decent relationship with you, and this should not be taken lightly. It's also possible that Mom, with her own insecurities, is pressuring Susie. You don't have to include her in everything you plan, but please be the bigger person and do so when you can. Dear Annie: I'm a healthy, active, happily married 61-yearold female. I work part time, but after all these years, I find the work monotonous. I exercise and socialize at the local fitness facility, but that's kind of same old, same old. Then I go home, do some cleaning and organizing, and end up looking for things to do. I don't know where I'm going or what to do with myself. My husband is a few years younger. We have different interests, so he isn't going to be helpful. I keep an eye open for volunteer opportunities, but haven't seen anything that's a good fit. I know I'm lucky and am not complaining. But do you have any suggestions for me? — Montreal West Island, Quebec Dear Quebec: First, decide where your interests lie. Do you enjoy the arts? Join a choir or theater group. Sign up for an art class or learn guitar. Do you like working with kids? Volunteer with a literacy program or at a children's hospital. Interested in civics? Offer your time to a local politician, or check city hall for oppor- tunities to make a difference in your community. Can you help at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen? What about your local library or chamber of commerce? Try meetup.com or the Red Hat Society (redhatsociety.org). You may need to try out a few places before you find something that's a ''good fit,'' but please don't give up. Many places would welcome someone with your energy. Dear Annie: ''California'' wondered whether it was rude to read his hosts' newspaper before they woke up. I, too, like to read my paper with my morning coffee. Here's my solution: When I travel, I take my home paper with me. I then buy a local paper at a gas station, convenience store or some place in the town I am visiting. I tend to buy additional papers from surrounding towns. Since the people I am visiting usually subscribe to only one newspaper, they enjoy reading the additional ones I bring. That way, I have several papers to read at my leisure, and my hosts have theirs. — Another Early News Addict Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Expert answers to common DMV questions By the California Department of Motor Vehicles SACRAMENTO – Do you have questions about general driving related requirements like registration or insurance? Are you unclear about laws and restrictions related to driving? The California Department of Motor Vehicles has answers. "Save Time, Go Online," at www.dmv.ca.gov. You can submit any DMVrelated questions at AskDMV@dmv.ca.gov Q. I'd like to know more about the types of payment accepted at the DMV offices. I have an appointment coming up and want to make sure I have the correct form of payment. A. Thank you for making an appointment with DMV before your next visit. We value your time. If you plan to pay with "plastic" the only form of payment currently accepted at the DMV is with debit (ATM), which is automatically debited from your bank account. The DMV does accept checks, cash, cashier checks and money orders, which you will need to make payable to the California Department of Motor Vehicles. Again, we remind customers that we do not accept credit cards in our field office. Credit cards can be used via our web online services. "Save Time, Go Online," at www.dmv.ca.gov or call 1-800-777-0133. Q. I agreed with a dealership to sell my vehicle by consignment for $20,000. However, the dealer only paid me $8,000. I don't have a signed contract because the dealer gave me a verbal contract for the consignment agreement. A. Dealer consignments are within the DMV's scope of authority and all consignments are actually required to be in writing pursuant to Vehicle Code Section 11729 – 30. If you suspect wrongdoing, you are encouraged to sub- mit a complaint form to the Department's Investigations Division. The DMV Investigations Division diligently enforces laws, rules, and regulations that apply to new and used vehicle dealers, brokers, dismantlers, registrations services, vehicle verifiers, driving schools or traffic violator schools, and other vehicle-related businesses. If you'd like to file a consumer complaint against any of the above-listed groups, please fill the Record of Complaint Form (INV 172). Follow the directions for completing the form and then mail it to an Investigations office in your area-see address listing on form: http://apps.dmv.ca.gov/f orms/inv/inv172.pdf Q. I am concerned about my privacy and where my personal information goes. Does the California DMV share my license information with third parties? A. Excellent question! At the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), protecting your privacy is very important. We are committed to ensuring your privacy and securing your confidential information. California Vehicle Code 1808 and the Public Records Act (Government Code Section 6253 et seq.) provide that information collected by the Department is generally considered public information and is subject to inspection by the public. Exceptions to this public disclosure obligation include personal information and confidential information. DMV will not release personal information such as your name, social security number, physical description, home address, home telephone number, education, financial matters, and medical or employment history. Information regarding any motor vehicle liability insurance policy or surety bond provided to DMV is confidential and shall not be disclosed to any person, except to the following: • A court of competent jurisdiction. • A law enforcement or other governmental agency. • An insurance company or its assignees to verify a record the company or its assignees previously submitted to the department. DMV may further restrict the release of any information from its files if it determines that, on the facts of the particular case, the public interest served by not disclosing the record clearly outweighs the public interest served by disclosure of the record. Q. I have an old car that I don't drive because it doesn't work that well. Do I still have to pay to have it registered? A. It depends. If you plan to store and not operate your vehicle during the next renewal year, you can apply for the Planned Non-Operation option online. There is a filing fee of $19 for the PNO. The PNO filing fee may be paid up to 60 days prior to the expiration date. If you file up to 90 days after the expiration date, you will be liable for late fees on the full registration amount. If at any time the vehicle is operated or parked where it may be subject to citation, then full registration fees and penalties for that year become due. For more information or to apply for the PNO online, visit www.dmv.ca.gov/pubs/ brochures/fast_facts/ffv r01.htm. Q. My wife and I were on vacation and drove from Southern California to Northern California. Somewhere along the first several hours of the trip I lost my wallet along with my driver license. I tried to recover my steps but I had no luck in finding my wallet. What can I do? A. If you lost your driver license, you will need to apply for a duplicate license. To apply for a duplicate license or ID card, you will need to make an appointment to visit a DMV office, complete an application and pay the application fee. You will also need to verify your identity by giving a thumb print and you will have a new picture taken. You will be issued an interim license valid for 90 days and/or a receipt for your ID card until you receive your new photo license and/or photo ID card in the mail. Save Time, Go Online. Schedule an appointment before visiting the DMV. Visit us at www.dmv.ca.gov or call 1-800-777-0133. Q. I just bought a boat. How do I know if it needs to be registered? A. In California, every sail powered vessel (boat) over eight feet in length and every motor driven vessel (regardless of length) that is not documented by the US Coast Guard and is used or on the waters of California is subject to be registered by the DMV. The vessel must be located in California. For detailed information on registering a vessel, please visit the following page on the California Department of Motor Vehicles Web site: http://dmv.ca.gov/boatsi nfo/boatreg.htm. *** The DMV offers an array of services to customers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week through its Website including online advance appointments for written and drive tests; vehicle registration and driver license renewals, selection of personalized license plates, changes of address and payment of fees via secure debit transactions. Customers can also effect transactions by calling DMV customer service at 1800-777-0133. DMV is a department under the California State Transportation Agency (CalSTA). Treat achilles tendinitis with 'rice' called RICE: DEAR DOCTOR K: Rest, Ice, ComI have Achilles tendinipression and tis. What can I do to Elevation. ease the pain in my RICE helps foot? limit pain and DEAR READER: additional damYour Achilles tendon — age: a rope of sturdy tissue — Rest: that connects muscle to bone — runs up the Dr. K Reduce your activity and sit back of your heel. by Anthony L. Achilles tendinitis Komaroff, M.D. or lie down. — Ice: To occurs when the tendon becomes inflamed. This reduce inflammation, apply causes pain and sometimes ice to the injury. — Compression: Wrap tenderness and swelling in an elastic compression banthe back of the heel. The pain is often dage around the injured area described as a burning sen- to provide support and sation. It's worse during any reduce swelling. Wrap it activity that stresses the ten- snugly, but not too tightly. — Elevation: To reduce don, like walking or running. (I've put an illustration inflammation and pain, prop showing where Achilles ten- up your foot above waist dinitis occurs on my web- level. If needed, take a nonpresite, AskDoctorK.com.) A related problem is scription pain reliever. If Achilles tendinosis. It occurs your tendon is swollen and when the tendon degrades warm, try ibuprofen or — much like a rope fraying. naproxen. Once the pain and The symptoms and treatment of Achilles tendinitis swelling are gone, gently and tendinosis are very sim- stretch your tendon to strengthen it. ilar. If the pain and swelling Achilles tendinitis usually results from overuse or persist, see a foot care speexertion while running, cialist. He or she may recespecially up and down hills. ommend physical therapy. It often begins following a The doctor may also preperiod of increased training. scribe heel lifts or Achilles' It is more likely to occur in heel cushions to provide people who are overweight, support and take pressure off and during training outdoors your injured tendons. A in winter. I'm not sure why night splint can help too, by it's more likely to occur in keeping the Achilles tendon winter; it could be that cold in a stretched position while temperatures make the you sleep. Avoid steroid injections Achilles tendon stiffer and into the inflamed area more easily injured. Swelling and stiffness around the tendon, as the can worsen with exercise. To steroids can weaken the tenprevent this, do warm-up don and make it more likely stretches before you exer- to rupture. Be patient. These condicise. Poorly fitting shoes may also contribute, so tions can take six to 12 make sure your shoes fit months to heal. If your tendon has completely ruptured properly. An ultrasound test can or torn away from the bone, show the inflamed area you may need surgery. around the tendon, but such Dr. Komaroff is a a test usually is not necessary: The symptoms and physician and professor at physical examination by a Harvard Medical School. To doctor make the diagnosis send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: clear. Treatment of Achilles Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck tendinitis and Achilles tendi- St., Second Floor, Boston, nosis involves a regimen MA 02115. Winfrey marks 'Butler' debut with Hula Hoop joy AP photo Oprah Winfrey and Forest Whitaker in "Lee Daniels' The Butler." LOS ANGELES (AP) — When ''Beloved'' starring Oprah Winfrey fell flat at the box office in 1998, Winfrey drowned her sorrows in macaroni and cheese. She found a different way to celebrate when ''Lee Daniels' The Butler,'' her first big-screen performance since ''Beloved,'' hit No. 1 in its debut last weekend. ''I actually got a purple Hula Hoop that I bring out for occasions like this,'' Winfrey said this week. ''So I brought out that Hula Hoop in the front yard.'' The scant turnout for ''Beloved,'' based on Toni Morrison's novel, caught Winfrey by surprise after the reception of 1985's ''The Color Purple,'' the Steven Spielberg film in which she made her big-screen debut and which earned her an Oscar nomination. ''I didn't know that by Saturday morning you could already know that you're a loser,'' she said, referring to how quickly a new film's performance is judged. ''So Saturday morning I get the call that ('Beloved') was beat out by 'Bride of Chucky.''' She asked her chef to start cooking comfort food and ended up ''in a macaroni-and-cheese coma.'' Given that unhappy memory, she said, she decided on ''no expectations'' for director Daniels' ''The Butler,'' in which Forest Whitaker portrays a longtime White House butler and Winfrey plays his wife. ''Do the work, offer it, and however it's received'' was her approach, said the former daytime talk-show queen who now oversees her cable channel, OWN. ''I actually think this weekend is going to do better than we imagine,'' Winfrey said. ''It's touching the hearts of people who didn't expect it.''