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Friday, August 27, 2010 – Daily News – 3B FEATURES Whirlwind wooing worries woman Are stress and baldness linked? Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I met each other at a military school. A month later, we moved in together. My 12-year-old daughter and I moved 900 miles to be with him. Six weeks later, he asked me to marry him. Soon after, we Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar both began getting cold feet. For no reason, I became enraged with jeal- ousy and started to smother him. The truth is, we both have behaved foolishly. Three times, he questioned our commitment. Now we have officially called off the engagement and are considering selling the ring to pay off our debts. We have a lot of financial diffi- culties right now. Can this be fixed? If I love him, why don’t I trust him? Why am I so jealous? We both have had bad rela- tionships in the past, but we are smart enough to under- stand the need to put those behind us. So why can’t we move on? Is there any way to get back the feelings we had for each other in school? I am so confused. — Love at First Sight Dear Love: That initial powerful attraction at first sight is not love. It is infat- uation. It can become love over time, but the passion and excitement of being with someone new does not last forever. There must be more underneath for a relationship to suc- ceed. Both you and your boyfriend seem to realize that you rushed things, and now you are afraid it won’t last, so you are sabotaging your chances. You don’t want to wreck a good thing, but neither do you want to stay in a bad rela- tionship. Because there is a child involved, we recom- mend premarital counsel- ing to determine what you have and whether it is worth saving. Dear Annie: A neighbor recently asked me to join her health club. We have been good friends for about six months. She goes to the club daily, but I’m not much for exercising in pub- lic. However, she offered me her free guest pass, so I decided to go and check it out. ‘‘Lori’’ picked me up after work, and we both needed to change into our sweats. The locker room had no individual stalls except in the bathroom, so that’s where I went to change. When I came out to put my things in the locker, Lori was stripped naked and stood there talk- ing to me in the buff. I was mortified. I do not feel it was nec- essary to be stark naked while having a conversa- tion, yet Lori acted as if there was nothing strange about it. I am not used to seeing other adult women naked. She has since asked if I will go back to the gym, but I do not want to find myself in such an uncom- fortable situation again. I enjoyed the workout, but I don’t want to lie to her about my reasons for stay- ing away. What should I tell her? — Modest Mary Dear Mary: We hate to break it to you, but that is normal behavior for a gym locker room. You can thank Lori and tell her you prefer to exercise at home, but since you enjoyed the workout, we think you should give it another try. Change into your sweats before leaving work, or find a way to go directly from home. When you arrive at the gym, you can simply toss your stuff in a locker and head for the equipment. And if you become a member, you can go on your own. Dear Annie: My hus- band and I planned our funerals years ago. He built my casket for me. Our daughter made the interior. He used to tell people he made the casket as a Christmas gift, but I didn’t use it, so he wasn’t going to give me any more Christ- mas presents. We raised eight chil- dren, and he died two months before our 55th wedding anniversary. He had to use my casket since his hadn’t been completed. — Death Is Natural DEAR DR. GOTT: My son has a bald spot on the back of his head. His doctor said it was stress-related alopecia. His hair grew back and his scalp was normal, but the bald spot reappeared, bigger, and is last- ing much longer. So his doctor told him to buy Rogaine. Am I correct that now he should see a dermatologist? I don’t think he’s stressed. cian regarding involving a der- matologist. DEAR READER: I’m not all that sure your son suffers from alopecia, an autoimmune disorder in which the immune system attacks hair follicles. In most cases, with the various types of alopecia, hair falls out in small patches about the size of a quarter. It can regrow in the same areas but may fall out again, repeating the pattern. Severe cases result in complete loss of hair over the entire body. Treatment to promote hair growth may include minoxidil (Rogaine), topical creams and corticosteroids. An individual suffering from alopecia will not ordinarily have other autoim- mune difficulties but could have an increased incidence of nasal allergies, atopic eczema, asthma and thyroid disor- der. Most people shed up to 100 hairs every day and don’t bald. And thinning hair is often a part of the aging process that occurs because of hormonal changes. Balding occurs when the rate hair sheds surpasses the rate it grows. Causes can include having diabetes or lupus; scalp infection such as ringworm; a hair-pulling disorder, such as exhibited with mental illness; medical treatment, such as chemotherapy and radiation for cancer; use of specific medications for arthritis, high blood pressure, some car- diac conditions or gout; several forms of alopecia; and still more. A specific diag- nosis can be made through scalp scrap- ings and other methods. Your son may have a hormonal or medical disorder. I would defer to his primary-care physi- Dr. Peter Gott Rogaine is an over-the- counter medication to slow hair loss and promote new growth for androgenic alopecia and alopecia areata. It is rubbed onto the scalp twice daily, and it may take up to 12 weeks before any progress is seen. It is up to your son to deter- mine whether he can adapt to early baldness or whether he is so con- cerned that he chooses to consider a wig, surgical implant or medication. If he is under a great deal of stress at work or in his private life, he may wish to address that issue as well. DEAR DR. GOTT: My husband has been taking Simply Sleep by Tylenol nightly for more than a year. I feel it is harmful to the body. There’s no warning on the label that states it causes liver damage, but other sleep aids have the warning. DEAR READER: Simply Sleep is an antihistamine that contains diphenhy- dramine, a common ingredient in several sleep aids. It was designed for occasional sleeplessness and difficulties falling asleep. I agree with your view and don’t believe it is meant to be taken every night. Nonetheless, I don’t know his complete medical history, whether he eats properly, exercises, is under stress, or works a swing shift. Many factors can come into play here. 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