CityView Magazine

8 July 2023 Claire Mullen can be reached at clairejlmullen @gmail.com. FAMILY MATTERS Book the trip BY CL AIRE MULLEN making it abundantly clear that we would not be leaving the country (or our house) indefinitely. Sometimes, life is (not) funny like that. Several years later with travel bans and spirits lied, a seed was planted in a conversation among our closest friends. One of us — I can't remember which, but definitely the individual with the best ideas in our group of four couples — pointed out that every one of the husbands would be turning 40 within a year of one another. And what better way to celebrate such a milestone birthday than an adults- only tropical vacation? Executing this proposition would not be an easy feat. Planning an international trip would involve navigating eight grown folks' complicated work and home life schedules and making child care arrangements for nine young children. Ironically enough, the idea of pressing the pause button on the fast pace of our everyday lives and setting aside a span of time to go away to intentionally rest, recharge, and relax seemed a little daunting. My husband worried about being absent during a particularly busy season at work. I worried that my children wouldn't survive without me there at bedtime to conduct our customary ritual of 10-minute story time, 7-minute back tickle, and 25 cups of water. (Spoiler alert: ey survived.) e eight of us came to the consensus that four days in Jamaica would be the perfect getaway. is destination offered clear water and white sand beaches without the jet lag, and we figured that when it came time for the big ask, "four days" would sound an awful lot more manageable than "a whole week " to the saint-like collection of grandparents who would ultimately agree to hold down all our forts. And so, we booked the trip and began to count down the days. A lmost 15 years. at's how long it had been since my husband and I took a bona fide adult vacation. Our last one being our honeymoon in St. Lucia a decade and a half ago. Sure, we've gotten away for long weekend birthday or anniversary celebrations to drivable places like Pinehurst or Charleston. But nowhere exotic enough to require an airplane. Over the years, we've opted to spend our vacation allotment on family-friendly excursions: spring break visits to Holden Beach, New Year's holidays in Banner Elk, and inaugural trips to DisneyWorld for each of our two children. My husband didn't miss the opportunity to point out that the two of us could have spent at least a week jaunting through Europe for what it cost to go to (arguably) e Most Magical Place on Earth for four days, before keying in his credit card number to book lunch in Cinderella's Castle while mumbling something about selling a kidney and making it to a Michelin star restaurant someday. We agreed a good while back that all those years of carefully strategizing car travel to coincide with toddler naptimes and loading our SUV Tetris-style with not an inch to spare full of pack-n-plays, bags of beach chairs and boogie boards or sleds and bulky snow gear, a kit of every thermometer, pill, suspension, bandage, cream and ointment that one would need to remedy any pediatric ailment that could arise during a three-day trip, and enough snacks to feed the entire 82nd (or two small children on a two-hour road trip), and schlepping our family here, there and everywhere across North Carolina in the name of making happy vacation memories had easily earned us a mom-and- dad, two-suitcases-only vacation. And wouldn't you know it, no sooner had we picked summer 2020 as our time and begun to research "best tropical vacations for adults" than a gosh dang pandemic hit, Just this week, we returned from a fabulous stay in a beautiful house overlooking the Caribbean Sea. It may have rained a lot, but what did we care? We had a whole lot of nothing to do for the first time in ages. No piles of laundry waiting to be folded, no emails needing immediate response, no meal planning, no morning alarm clocks or aernoon soccer practice chauffeur duties. And when the sun did come out, we slathered on our SPF 50 and nagged our husbands about wearing life jackets to go kayaking. I sat on the beach — actually sat on the beach — and reminded myself that I didn't have to constantly scan the water for two little people. e eight of us partied in true almost 40-year-old fashion, balancing our rum punches with electrolyte-infused water, playing cards over discussion topics like arthritis, skin care regimens, and, yes, our kids. We took naps whenever we wanted and seized the rare opportunity to leisurely read novels in lounge chairs by the pool. We dined on local favorites like fresh fish, oxtail, and curried goat on a table that has probably never seen a bowl of Easy Mac or plate of dino nuggets. We packed a lot of fun and even some adventure into our days and were still in bed by midnight each night. ose four glorious days passed a little too quickly, and we said farewell to Bengal Beach. It was the perfect adults-only vacation, 15 years in the making. Did we miss our children? So much. Are we already planning the next big adventure without them? Absolutely. And maybe next time, we might just stay a whole week.

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