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4B – Daily News – Wednesday, August 18, 2010 Woeful widower wants wedding Carsick toddler has a tough ride Dear Annie: My wife of almost 30 years passed away several years ago, and after grieving for more than a year, I reluctantly tried online dating. Just when I was about to call it quits, I met a lovely widow who had had many lousy relationships after her husband died. ‘‘Hannah’’ and I had instant chemistry. She knows I am not like the abusive men she dated before. We live six hours apart and are able to see each other for a few days every month. Her adult children and friends really like me, and my adult children and friends think she is good for me. We’ve been dating for Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar coffee or lunch just to have an adult to talk with. She says that is wrong since we are in a commit- ted relationship. Am I being unreasonable to want some adult conversation from time to time, or should I sit at home alone every night watching TV while she has friends and relatives to entertain her? — Quandary in Florida Dear Florida: Right two years. Hannah knows I would marry her in a heartbeat, but she won’t say ‘‘yes.’’ Her reasons are that I have a few more years before I can retire and leave my current home, and she has an elderly mother who is very dependent on her. Hannah has gone back to school for a second degree, which will not be completed for another three years. In order to finish, she may have to move farther away. She’s perfectly content to see me less often. She has her family to keep her compa- ny, but I get very lonely. I told Hannah that I’d occa- sionally like to go out with another woman for now, you and Hannah have a long-standing rela- tionship without a com- mitment. Still, if all you want is adult company, it might be a good idea to go out for coffee or lunch with some of the guys and leave the women alone. Otherwise, you risk losing Hannah, commitment or not. But we’ll be frank: If you are looking for mar- riage, you might need to look somewhere else. Dear Annie: I’m 14 years old and have a friend with a problem. ‘‘Mia’’ is a beautiful girl, but is insecure. When she feels depressed, she cuts herself. I’m the only per- son she has told. I made her promise me she wouldn’t do it again, and for a while, she didn’t. But a few days ago, I found new marks on her arm. What do I do? Mia refuses to talk about it with anyone else. I sug- gested she see a psychia- trist and even offered to go with her, but she didn’t want to hear anything about it. How do I help her without losing her trust? — Scared Dear Scared: You sound like a good friend to Mia. It would be best if she could talk to her par- ents, a school counselor, a favorite teacher or an adult relative, but you can’t force her, so it’s helpful that you listen to her. Suggest she get some exercise. It boosts endor- phin levels and can make her feel less stressed. You also can discuss the situa- tion with your own par- ents. Information and additional suggestions are available through the teens’ section at kid- shealth.org. Please check it out. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Gargantuan Freak,’’ who was hurt when her husband’s best friend said she was ‘‘gar- gantuan’’ and her husband and in-laws agreed. As a doctor, I can assure her that 150 pounds is a perfect weight for someone who is 5 feet 9 inches tall, and it’s like- ly the best friend was referring only to her height. If this comes up again, I recommend she smile and reply, ‘‘I prefer statuesque or goddess- like.’’ Her husband should be supportive by respond- ing the same way. I don’t know why she feels so unattractive. Many women would be delighted to be so tall and slender. — M.D. in Montreal DEAR DR. GOTT: My 2- year-old grandson gets carsick terribly. His parents do not feed him immediately prior to any trips, but he still throws up. Is there something they could give him prior to traveling? DEAR READER: Motion sickness is rather common and can affect people of any age. It stems from a sensitivity of the inner ear. Unfortunately, it’s more traumatic when it happens to a youngster. Symptoms can include stomach upset, loss of appetite, cold sweats and vomiting. I hear about queasy feelings more frequently from people who sit in the back seat of the car and from people who read or otherwise engage in visual and mental stimulation in an effort to pass the time. This cer- tainly is not the case with a 2-year-old, however. A child of that age is prohibit- ed by law from riding in the front seat for safety reasons. So let’s consider options: Have him look out the window at passing cars, signs and people. Play a game of spotting a green car, a red wagon or a person with black hair. He might eat an hour or two before getting into the car. Bring along a water bottle so he can remain hydrated. Sing songs or listen to the radio. If he can doze off, by all means let him do so. Split the trip up into two or three segments, allowing him to get out and walk around to break the routine. In other words, focus his attention elsewhere and attempt to trick his inner ears. You may also wish to try ginger capsules, Dramamine or Benadryl. DEAR DR. GOTT: I have had gas pains under my rib cage for the past year. The pain leads to sediment-type diarrhea within 15 minutes of eating anything, occurring at least three times before it stops. I’ve been unemployed and without health insurance for three years, so I am unable to see a doctor about this. I have determined I am allergic to wheat. I take Dr. Peter Gott no medicines other than over- the-counter naproxen for knee arthritis. Can you figure this out? DEAR READER: Gas pains can occur for a number of rea- sons. Perhaps you have acid reflux, indigestion, hiatal her- nia, gallbladder disease, peptic ulcer, are lactose intolerant or have an undiagnosed abnormal- ity of the digestive tract. You also don’t appear to be digest- ing your food properly, as evidenced by the diarrhea. Naproxen and other OTC NSAIDs can also lead to nausea, gas and diarrhea. If you are unemployed and without insurance, apply for state aid. This will remove an enormous burden from your shoulders. Then make an appointment with a physician for an examination and possible lab work and X-rays so you can determine the exact cause of your pain. If necessary, request a referral to a gas- troenterologist. I know this sounds extremely daunting, but you shouldn’t have to continue with the symptoms you are having and the distressing diarrhea that follows. Once appropriate testing is accomplished and a diagnosis can be made, proper treatment can begin. Until then, it’s anyone’s guess. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Constipation & Diarrhea.” Other read- ers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. HOME SERVICES DIRECTORY 7900 Runs Every Monday - Wednesday - Friday $ $ with a 3 month commitment Building Construction R. G. 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