Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/143531
Friday, July 12, 2013 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Closeted man has nowhere to turn learn to communicate better. Dear Annie: I am a 45And PFLAG has online supyear-old gay man who has port at pflag.org. Please never had a relationship, check it out. and I don't expect it to Dear Annie: I have an change. I have lived all of adult niece who no longer my life in the closet. I know speaks to her grandparents. it's not emotionally healthy, No one knows why, and her but I feel unable to confide parents tell us the niece in anyone. When I was a teenager, I confided in a Annie's ''deals with things in her own way.'' Her grandparents minister, who then told my are heartbroken. parents. They never acceptby Kathy Mitchell The question is: Do I ed me. My parents are both and Marcy Sugar invite this niece to a family wedding? She is difficult to gone now. I have no friends. I work two jobs, which precludes a be around and makes things uncomsocial life. I've listened to my co- fortable for those of us who must workers' conversations and can tell observe her behavior. It is important they wouldn't understand. I live in to the bride that her grandparents be an area where coming out could at the wedding, and we want them mean the loss of my jobs, my land- to feel at ease. We have no problem lord could evict me, and I worry that not inviting the niece, but do not someone's intolerance could turn want to start a war with her parents. — Family Issues violent. Dear Issues: We generally favor There is no PFLAG or other resource in my area. There are no inviting those people you wish and gay bars. I feel unable to relocate letting the chips fall where they due to economic concerns. I realize may. You are not responsible for my isolation is my own fault. I'm your niece's estrangement. Howevnot an outgoing, talkative person. In er, you also are not obligated to particular, I have always found it invite her, although it's quite possidifficult to talk about myself. How ble that the grandparents might weldo I open the door? — In Turmoil in come a chance to see the girl, even from six tables away. The decision Kansas Dear Kansas: You don't need to ultimately rests with the bridal cougo to a gay bar. You can look online, ple, but you might first talk it over and not only for prospective part- with the grandparents, as well as the ners, but also to make new friends parents of this niece. Explain the regardless of their sexual orienta- problem and ask whether they tion. It will protect your privacy believe she can behave appropriatewhile giving you an opportunity to ly. If there is a genuine risk that she connect with others. Regular email will cause a scene, we say leave her conversations can also help you off the guest list. Mailbox Dear Annie: You told ''Frustrated'' to call those people who had not RSVP'd and ask whether they plan to attend her daughter's graduation party. As much as I love traditional invites, sadly, tradition is heeding way to technology. Instead of calling, she should turn to her social media accounts to initiate invitations. I have used Facebook for three events in the past year. I received more RSVPs than I ever would have gotten with mailed paper invitations. That said, however, most people did not show up and never bothered to respond. It resulted in wasted food and guests taking home extra favor bags. However, this was my fault. I easily could have posted a message asking for a head count before making final arrangements. — Everything Online Now Dear Everything: Your fault? No, dear. The fault lies with those who are too inconsiderate to tell you whether they plan to attend an event that you have been kind enough to invite them to. It doesn't matter whether the invitations are mailed or sent electronically. (And many people do not have Facebook accounts. Really.) Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Off to the park? So is Social Security By Jennifer Cooper Social Security Manager in Redding Now, in the heart of summertime, is time to think about spending some fun time with family and friends. So it is fitting that July is both National Vacation Month and National Park and Recreation Month. Going on vacation — whether to visit some of the nation's great national and state parks or traveling to other fun destinations — doesn't mean you need to disconnect completely. In fact, our new mobile website makes it easy for you to get the Social Security information you need when you're on the go. As long as you have an Internet connection, you're connected to Social Security. You might not take your laptop with you to a national park, but you'll probably have your phone. You may be wondering: just how much Social Security business can I do on a smartphone? You may be surprised. We recently released Social Security Mobile to allow for a smoother and more enjoyable online experience for people who want to access www.socialsecurity.gov using a smartphone. Most people who want to access Social Security by smartphone are interested in getting the information they need quickly and efficiently. To accommodate this "grab it on the go" frame of mind, we've designed a mobile site that is as easy on the eye as it is to navigate. Social Security Mobile features 10 items of interest, easily accessible by touching the tiles on your smartphone's screen. These items include popular topics from our standard website, such as frequently asked questions, Social Security card and number, and publications. For example, you can either read or listen to our entire library of publications on your smartphone. The quick summaries will make it easy to make sure you access the publication you want. As you relax beneath a tree, you may want to use the mobile site's "decision tree" to help identify documents you need for a new or replacement Social Security card. Will everything on our website be included in the mobile website? No. Instead, our mobile site is designed to bring you the content you're most likely to want on the go. Keep in mind that this is not an app you have to download. The website is conveniently designed to run on your smartphone's browser. You don't have to download anything from an app store; just visit www.socialsecurity.gov on your smartphone and you will automatically visit the mobile website. And if you decide you need to browse the full website, you can do that easily. Remember, Social Security is happy to help you even when you're enjoying a day at the park. We are always working for you, even when you are relaxing. Visit our mobile website at www.socialsecurity.gov from your smartphone today. Job search expenses may lower your taxes Summer is often a time when people make major life decisions. Common events include buying a home, getting married or changing jobs. If you're looking for a new job in your same line of work, you may be able to claim a tax deduction for some of your job hunting expenses. Here are seven things the IRS wants you to know about deducting these costs: 1. Your expenses must be for a job search in your current occupation. You may not deduct expenses related to a search for a job in a new occupation. If your employer or another party reimburses you for an expense, you may not deduct it. 2. You can deduct employment and job placement agency fees you pay while looking for a job. 3. You can deduct the cost of preparing and mailing copies of your résumé to prospective employers. 4. If you travel to look for a new job, you may be able to deduct your travel expenses. However, you can only deduct them if the trip is primarily to look for a new job. 5. You can't deduct job search expenses if there was a substantial break between the end of your last job and the time you began looking for a new one. 6. You can't deduct job search expenses if you're looking for a job for the first time. 7. You usually will claim job search expenses as a miscellaneous itemized deduction. You can deduct only the amount of your total miscellaneous deductions that exceed DNA doesn't prove Boston Strangler link BOSTON (AP) — The family of a deceased man suspected of being the Boston Strangler is outraged police secretly followed his nephew to collect DNA for new tests. Attorney Elaine Sharp says Albert DeSalvo's family also believes there's still reasonable doubt he killed the Strangler's last supposed victim, even if additional DNA tests show a 100 percent match. Authorities said Thursday new tests led them to conclude DeSalvo is a 99.9 Amazing Finds NEW & USED FURNITURE & MUCH, MUCH MORE! Featuring Western, Lodge & Ranch Styles Two Locations - 30,000 square feet RED BLUFF 530-917-1138 REDDING 530-917-7797 22660 Antelope Blvd. 3351 S. Market St. amazingfindsredbluff.com amazingfindshome.com 9am – 8pm (closed Saturdays) 9am – 6:30pm daily Amazing Sale! percent match to DNA found on Mary Sullivan's body. They've obtained a court order to exhume his body for further testing. Sharp says private tests show other male DNA was present that didn't match DeSalvo. But authorities say their evidence was preserved in a lab, while evidence used in private testing was questionable. DeSalvo confessed to the killings but recanted before dying in prison in 1973. PHYSICIAN REFERRAL A FREE SERVICE PROVIDED FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE 1-888-628-1948 www.redbluff.mercy.org RUNNINGS ROOFING Sheet Metal Roofing Residential Commercial • Composition • Shingle • Single Ply Membrane "No Job Too Steep" " No Job Too Flat" Serving Tehama County No Money 530-527-5789 530-209-5367 CA. LIC#829089 Down! FREE ESTIMATES Owner is on site on every job two percent of your adjusted gross income. For more information, see Publication 529, Miscellaneous Deductions. This booklet is available on IRS.gov or by calling 800-TAX-FORM (800829-3676). You can't escape stress, but learn to manage it heart attacks DEAR DOCincreased greatly. TOR K: I have a The same hapstressful job. I pened after 9/11 think the stress — not just in New helps me perform York, Washington at my best, but my and Pennsylvania, doctor says that in but all over the the long run, stress United States. is bad for my The more health. Is he right? Dr. K important negative DEAR READby Anthony L. ER: Your body Komaroff, M.D. effect on our health comes from reacts to acute stressors with a "fight-or- chronic stress. The conflight" response. Thirty stant drip-drip-drip of thousand years ago, the worry — from financial acute stressor for your fears, say, or a troubled ancestors may have been marriage — tends to build the sight of several lions up as the days roll on. heading in their direction. This constant stress doesToday, the acute stressor n't find a quick physical might be a bus rushing release (like running toward you as you cross across the street to avoid being hit by a bus); the the street. Following an acute stress recurs throughout stressor, the brain triggers the day. It is so constant a cascade of chemicals that even when you have a and stress hormones that moment when nothing is speed the heart rate, happening to worry you, quicken breathing, you worry that something increase blood pressure is waiting for you just and boost the amount of around the corner. When the fight-orenergy supplied to muscles. All of these changes flight response is chronienable your body to rise to cally in the "on" position, occasions and events that the body suffers. Stress reward heightened aware- can bring on or worsen ness and abilities. (I've many health conditions, put a detailed illustration including depression, diaof the stress response on betes, headaches and my website, AskDoc- insomnia. Stress is a prime risk factor for high torK.com.) Unfortunately, the blood pressure and a body does a poor job of major risk factor for heart discriminating between disease. It also affects the grave, immediate dangers immune system, making and day-to-day stressful you more susceptible to colds and other common situations. Sometimes, even when illnesses. It's impossible to sidea situation isn't life or death, a jolt of stress can step all sources of stress be a good thing. As you — and you wouldn't want mentioned, stress can to. Challenges add zest to enhance performance and life and sometimes deliver efficiency. However, acute satisfying rewards. But if stress is starting stress or anything that generates a sudden surge to wear you down, you can of emotion can occasion- learn to perceive and manage it in healthier ways. ally cause a catastrophe. In a person who has Exercise, meditation, yoga heart disease — danger- and deep breathing are just ously narrowed arteries of a few relaxation strategies the heart — a sudden rush to look into. They really of adrenaline can make work. the heart work harder. The Dr. Komaroff is a insufficient blood supply to a hardworking heart can physician and professor Harvard Medical trigger life-threatening at School. To send irregular heart rhythms. go to Sudden surges of fear questions, or and anger can cause sud- AskDoctorK.com, den death. For example, write: Ask Doctor K, 10 following the Northridge, Shattuck St., Second Calif., earthquake in 1994, Floor, Boston, MA 02115. 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