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Tuesday, August 3, 2010 – Daily News – 3B Fasting female feeling forgotten Dear Annie: I am married to a man four years my junior who seems locked into the idea that I am cheating on him. I am not, although I’d have good reason: He is hardly ever around and pays little attention to me. We have two children, and I gained a lot of weight during the pregnancies. Recently, I began exercising and watching my diet to improve my health and have almost returned to my pre-wedding weight. I feel better about myself, as I had become depressed. Now when I dress up, he assumes it’s not for him but to get the atten- tion of other men. When we were dating, he kept pressuring me to lose weight, even though I was slim. He had little sexual interest in me once I became pregnant, but now he can’t get enough. He claims it’s unrelated to my weight loss. He says he ‘‘just figured out’’ that our love was meant to be. This isn’t our only problem. He also belittles my intelligence. When I make statements, he often challenges me or tells me I must not have understood what I heard. I’m miserable, but everyone tells me I have to stay for the kids and try to make it work. I don’t even know where to start in order to be happy again. I am 35 with two small children and feel stuck. Who would want me? — Trapped Dear Trapped: Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar We know we sound like a bro- ken record, but please get coun- seling. He has worn you down and made you feel unattractive and worthless. You have two young children, and for their sakes, you should make every effort to see whether the relationship can be saved before giv- ing up. It would be best if your husband goes with you, but if not, go with- out him. The right coun- selor will help you understand your situation and find ways to deal with it. Dear Annie: My wife left me 12 years ago for the richest man in town. We have a daughter who is to be married in the near future. I am also remarried, and we have a young child. My former wife is planning the entire wed- ding, and the reception will be an expensive endeavor, as they seem to have unlimited funds. Our financial situation is quite the opposite. Due to a workplace accident, I am on disability. Am I obligated to pay half of the total wedding costs even though I have no say in the planning? I fear it will cause great hardship on my family. — Worried Dad in Iowa Dear Iowa: You are not obligated to pay more than you can afford. Decide what amount you are willing to part with. Then inform your daugh- ter that as much as you would like to give her the moon, this is all your budget will allow. (We strongly urge young cou- ples to help pay for their own weddings and stop bankrupting their parents for one day’s festivities.) Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Sad Mom,’’ whose 10-year- old daughter was snubbed by a classmate having a birthday party. I was in 5th grade when a boy in my class invited everyone to his birthday party except me. My mother then shared a secret. She said the boy’s parents were nice people, but the mother wanted to be much closer and my mom wasn’t interested. His mother chose this cruel way to strike back. Mom told me to say I had ‘‘family plans’’ as an excuse should anyone ask about my absence. That fall, we threw a Halloween party. Mom said, ‘‘This is our chance to get even. We will invite this boy. Always take the high road.’’ I remembered that much longer than the pain of the original slight, and the older I got the proud- er I was to have such a mother as a role model. — Lucky Daughter in West Lafayette, Ind. Dear Lucky: Your mother sounds like one smart, classy lady. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.n et, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. Prescription abuse forum Not In Our Town Glenn County presents the 2010 Northern Califor- nia Regional Prescription Drug Abuse Forum from 7-10 p.m. Wednesday, Sept. 22, at Bell Memo- rial Union Auditorium at CSU Chico. The free event includes a wel- come and regional overview by Scott Gruendl, Glenn County Public Health director and Chico city coun- cilman. Lee Thomas Snook, Jr., who is board certified internal medicine and anesthesiology and a member of Cal- ifornia Society of Addiction Medi- cine, will give a medical perspective. Jeanne Allen, a Drug Enforce- ment Agency special agent from the San Francisco Field Division will speak along with Salvadore Biondo- lillo, Acting DEA Diversion program manager, on quantifying national epidemic: improved investigations and prosecution procedures for pre- scription drug abuse. Susan Foster, vice president and director of policy, research and analysis of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University will give a speech titled Under the Counter: The Diversion and Abuse of Controlled Prescription Drugs In USA. A presentation and question and answer session by medical and law enforcement professionals will be held earlier in the day 1-4 p.m. at the Enloe Conference Center, 1528 Esplanade, in Chico. To attend, RSVP by calling 934- 2542. FEATURES If you would like to contact Keep it short, sweetie! Dr. Gott, write him at Dr. Gott c/o United Media, 200 Madison Ave., 4th fl., New York, NY 10016. DEAR DR. GOTT: Your col- umn was so much better when you gave short answers to ques- tions. You answered a lot more questions, which we all like, so why did you change? Be short and to the point, and thank you for listening. Dr. Peter Gott DEAR READER: Thank you for your comments. There are times when I think readers might be interested in a better understanding of why a condi- tion occurs, and in discovering ways to correct medical problems. That requires more in-depth information than can be provided in a few sen- tences. I’ll do my best to reach a happy medium by being as brief as possible. Congratulations — today is dedicated to you. DEAR DR. GOTT: Thanks for your daily column and the many interesting cases you are kind enough to take your time to explain. I have to write you about my experience with cold sores in response to the reader who suffers from them. I, too, had them for years, and nothing I put on prevented them. The sores always took up to 10 days to heal, and I would immediately get another one. My husband is a retired dentist who suggested not using toothpaste that contains sodium lauryl sulfate. CVS brand and Sensodyne ProNamel are two products free of the inactive ingredient. Since making the change, I have not had any more pesky sores. I hope this helps some- one else. DEAR READER: Low levels of sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS) are com- monly found in shaving cream, sham- poo and toothpaste. More concentrat- ed levels are found in industrial- cleaning products, engine degreasers, carwash soaps and floor cleaners. Research has linked SLS to canker sores and related skin problems. I wrote about this a few years ago. At the time, I knew of only one SLS-free toothpaste, Tom’s of Maine. I’m glad to see other manufacturers have made the switch. Thanks for the tip. DEAR DR. GOTT: I often cut out your articles and save them. Unfortunately, I have misplaced one of the most important ones for my well- being. It concerned a natural recipe for bowel regularity. It contained three ingredients, two of which were applesauce and prune juice. The third com- ponent is as much a mystery as is the exact amount of each. DEAR READER: The three ingredients, known as a colon cocktail, are applesauce, prune juice and unprocessed bran. Mix equal por- tions in a small bowl, and refrigerate for at least one hour to blend. Then take 1 to 2 tablespoons or more, if needed, each day for relief. Refriger- ate any unused portions in a sealed container. The remedy may take up to two weeks to be fully effective. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Compelling Home Reme- dies.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. DEAR DR. GOTT: I have hairs growing from my earlobes and on the edge of my left ear. I’ve cut them, but they grow back. What would cause hair to grow in these areas? Is there a Y-linked factor? DEAR READER: Researchers once thought it was an inherited trait believed to be passed along on the Y chromosome. That apparently isn’t true. We do know that hair growth is linked with testosterone levels in males as they age, but I am at a loss to explain why a man may have a bald head but will grow hair in unwanted areas of the body like the ears and nose. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com.