Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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The Hills Are Alive and Sometimes Dead by PITT DICKEY Willie, suddenly I heard the mountain sounds. The mountain is a loud place once you I recently got up close and personal with a dead deer. I was walking and the deer start listening. Whistling wind, talkative birds, bragging bull frogs, humming bees and was just lying there on the side of the road. We were in the Blue Ridge Mountains mooing cows across the pond. You can hear a lot just by listening. Without electronic and I was on a walk about down the dirt road. For once, I was not one of those interference, you can hear how the mountains sounded during the Middle Ages. people you see walking around transfixed by their smartphone oblivious to everything Mountain sounds go way back. Once we are gone, the mountains will keep making around them. I was transfixed by a flock of turkey buzzards posing on a row of fence noises without us. posts in front of me. Turkey buzzards are not particularly attractive members of the After listening to the mountain for a while, I heard an interesting new sound. avian race, but they are quite necessary. Think of them as flying undertakers. They There was a loud huffing noise up on the mountain behind the house. I thought a are big birds, about 3 feet long wearing formal black suits like an undertaker. They cow might have gotten out of the pasture and wandered have ruddy featherless heads that seem to be covered with up on the mountain. Cows huff when they feel huffy. The rosacea like a villain in a super hero movie. If Edgar Allen Poe huffing sound went on about five minutes. The hill behind designed a bird, he would have created the turkey vulture. the house is very steep. It would have taken a cow with Like undertakers, they vacuum up dead things. skilled Sherpa abilities to climb up there. It occurred to me I could imagine the head turkey vulture saying to the dead that one of the neighbors mentioned a brown bear and her deer, "I am so sorry for your loss, Mr. Deer. Please accept cub had been seen in the area. At that point the huffing did my most sincere condolences. But may I say, you look not seem so benign. I saw movement up on the hill but a delicious today. Dinner time." I have walked that dirt road wall of leaves kept me from seeing what it was. many times and never seen a flock of turkey vultures chilling I began to wonder about the appropriate strategy for there. That should have been a clue that something had dealing with a momma bear. Run in the house, lock the drawn their attention to those fence posts. They were not door, hope for the best, kiss your fanny goodbye and particularly concerned that I was walking towards them. As apply A1 Sauce was the best plan I could come up with. long as I was moving, I was of no real interest to them. They There is a lot of life and death out there. I wondered how long a wooden door could keep out an could wait until I stopped moving. angry bear. I remembered Allen Shermans classic song, "Hello Muddah , Hello Due to my focus on the vultures, I almost stumbled over the dead deer lying in Faddah" about the boy who was not happy to be at Camp Granada. It featured the road. That could have led to embarrassing moments in the emergency room. the immortal lines, "Take me home, oh Muddah, Faddah/Take me home, I hate "How did you break your arm, Mr. Dickey?" "I tripped over a dead deer lying in the road." That would have been good for laughs amongst the medical personnel in Granada/Don't leave me out in the forest where/I might get eaten by a bear." Fortunately, the huffing eventually stopped. I could hear the bird, the ER. "Did you hear how the jerk in Cubicle 3 broke his arm? The moron tripped and the wind. In the words of Robert Frost, "The woods are lovely, over a dead deer." Oh, the shame. dark and deep." Like the rest of the I got back to the cabin without further incident and began listening to music on world, there is a lot of life and death out PITT DICKEY, Attorney, Contributthe front porch. I was pondering the pond while futilely attempting to think profound ing Writer, COMMENTS? Editor@ there. Enjoy it while you can. thoughts. Willie Nelson had just finished singing his last old time hymn. Without upandcomingweekly.com. Is Proud to support an Event for our Military Troops by supporting "Fayetteville's Own" (Undefeated) Middleweight Boxer Lamar "The Boxing Que" Russ on July 05, 2013 @ 7:00PM Independence Explosion Friday Night Fights at the Crown Coliseum presented by "R&R promotions" Celebrating our troops and our freedom featuring Olympians Rau'shee Warren, Errol Spence, Jamel Herring, undefeated Lamar "The Boxing Que" Russ, with special guests WBO super featherweight champion and current WBC lightweight champion Adrien "the Problem" Broner, and former junior welterweight champion and hall of fame inductee, Aaron Pryor. For more information visit our website at www.CapeFearEye.com or follow us on 8 JULY 3- 9, 2013 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM