Sigma Phi Epsilon - University of Colorado

Colorado Alpha Chapter of Sigma Phi Epsilon P.O. Box 18921 Boulder, CO 80308-1921 Address Service Requested ΣΦΕ C O L O R A D O A L P H A s U N I V E R S I T Y O F C O L O R A D O S I G M A P H I E P S I L O N FlatiroN THE I t's about that time again: let's make sure your information is up to date! With things improving in our pandemic-stricken world, we plan to keep you posted on all things SigEp over the coming months. Please review the enclosed bio update, confirming your contact information or writing down any changes, and mailing it back to us. The bio includes two other ways you can help the Chapter. First, feel free to share any life updates or memories in the news field, and we may include your story in a future issue. Also, take a look at the included list of lost alumni and help us connect with them by providing their current mailing address. Thank you for helping Colorado Alpha stay connected! A Tale of Two Hamsters, Part II (Continued from front) When the results of that incident were discovered by others, they realized that Ian had killed Ms. Silly. Out of boredom and a fine sense of the absurd, a coffin was made and six brothers in dark suits carried her remains to the circular incinerator in the parking lot; she was cremated after some appropriate ceremony and words. Little Richard followed, wailing and playing the grieving whatever. As Hunter S. Thompson said, "When things get weird, the weird get weirder." And so things did. The conservative part of the Chapter House (that included most of the ROTC and Young Republicans) was of the opinion that all was well. The insulation on the phone and electrical lines was now safe from rodent gnawing. No need to worry about a mouse infestation as the source of the rodent droppings had been answered. The liberal part of the house saw the death of Ms. Silly as representative of how an oppressive administration dealt with those who sought freedom. Rather than being some sort of rogue rodent that was a threat to The House, she was but a lone freedom fighter escaping an unjust and tormented imprisonment, and yadda yadda yadda. Rather than seek extrajudicial revenge for the vile way that Silly was assassinated, there needed to be a trial. All agreed: "Yes, yes! A trial!" The pre-law brothers quickly went to work organizing one; both parties had no trouble responding with legal counsel. The left became the prosecution, and the right the defense. After a week or so, a trial date was set and on the given evening of the trial, the Chapter room had the dinner tables moved about. There was a place for the judges and the jury, tables for the respective counsels, and room for the spectators. Little Richard painfully described his relationship with Ms. Silly and how her escape and cruel demise had traumatized him. Were it not for the support of some of the brothers he would—well, he could not even begin to describe what he might do. He used quite a few tissues during his testimony. The prosecution did the expected demonization of Brother Ian and the system he represented, and how the departed was not unlike the Fidelistas that had come down from the Sierra Maestra to show the world that the pursuit of true freedom should always be celebrated and exalted. [A quick historical note: both the Hungarian Revolution and the Cuban one were fresh in our minds at that time and were discussed regularly on campus.] Brother Ian stated that he felt then and now that he had done the correct thing: he had saved the house from a rodent infestation, he had protected womanhood as he was pledged to do, and that given the heat of the moment he had no reason to not suspect rabies given the unnatural behavior of a strange furry animal. He had no reason to know that said animal was in fact the lost Ms. Silly and, had he known that, he would have endeavored to return her to Little Richard, her rightful owner. This last part did not work in his favor, as the prosecution was quick to point out that a sovereign animal ought not to "belong" to anybody, and thus the concept of "rightful ownership" was abhorrent. And in any event, they argued, the torment and lack of true nurturing by Little Richard negated completely any mitigating circumstances that could be linked to the justice of Ms. Silly ever being returned to Little Richard. The defense rebutted as best it could, but to little avail. By now the bulk of the attendees (largely pledges anxious to get back at an active), succumbing to herd madness, began to vocalize support for the prosecution. Films of a Stalin-era show trial give a small inkling of what was taking place. I don't recall what the outcome was. In fact, I think I recall that cooler heads prevailed and the judges called a recess, saying the verdict would be announced at a later date. In fact, I don't think a verdict was ever reached; or if it was, it was never announced. There were some that thought a fitting punishment would be turning the pledges loose on Ian for some period of time. That was never even considered, as active members (being a higher life form than pledges) were prevented such a thought even being given the status of "thought." I am happy to report that post-graduation communications with "Little Richard" revealed that he had indeed worked through this traumatic event and had become a useful and contributing member of society. I am sure the same can be said for Lonnie and Ian. I cannot count the number of hamster lives that may have been saved by what Lonnie and Elmer taught me. Fraternally, Leslie Garlinghouse '62 DON'T FORGET TO WRITE! Stay Up to Date with Colorado Alpha WE WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU! Please let us know what you are up to. News items about you and your SigEp brothers will be included in the alumni news sec on of our newsle er. In an effort to update our alumni records so we can be er serve our members, Colorado Alpha Chapter of Sigma Phi Epsilon at the University of Colorado is asking you to review the contact informa on listed on this form. If you need to update this informa on, please cross out the old and write the new below. Fold this self‐mailer so that the delivery address is on the front, place a stamp on it, and drop it in the mail. Or scan it and email it to our communica ons coordinator at kwhaley@penningtonco.com. 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