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6A Daily News – Friday, June 21, 2013 Opinion Your ever-vigilant friends at the NSA DAILY NEWS RED BLUFF TEHAMA COUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U NTY S I N C E 1 8 8 5 Greg Stevens, Publisher gstevens@redbluffdailynews.com Chip Thompson, Editor editor@redbluffdailynews.com Editorial policy The Daily News opinion is expressed in the editorial. The opinions expressed in columns, letters and cartoons are those of the authors and artists. Letter policy The Daily News welcomes letters from its readers on timely topics of public interest. All letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and cannot exceed two double-spaced pages or 500 words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section of those submitted will be considered for publication. Letters will be edited. Letters are published at the discretion of the editor. Mission Statement We believe that a strong community newspaper is essential to a strong community, creating citizens who are better informed and more involved. The Daily News will be the indispensible guide to life and living in Tehama County. We will be the premier provider of local news, information and advertising through our daily newspaper, online edition and other print and Internet vehicles. The Daily News will reflect and support the unique identities of Tehama County and its cities; record the history of its communities and their people and make a positive difference in the quality of life for the residents and businesses of Tehama County. How to reach us Main office: 527-2151 Classified: 527-2151 Circulation: 527-2151 News tips: 527-2153 Sports: 527-2153 Obituaries: 527-2151 Photo: 527-2153 On the Web www.redbluffdailynews.com Fax Newsroom: 527-9251 Classified: 527-5774 Retail Adv.: 527-5774 Legal Adv.: 527-5774 Business Office: 527-3719 Address 545 Diamond Ave. Red Bluff, CA 96080, or P.O. Box 220 Red Bluff, CA 96080 Dear U.S. Citizen, Please accept our most egregiously sincere apologies for the difficulties and inconveniences the secret monitoring of your phone records and email and GPS units and foreign travel and bank accounts and yes, even your snail mail has evidently caused. We here at the NSA strive for the perfection of our services, which depend on the chronic obliviousness of you, our valued customers. Unfortunately, due to one disgruntled deadbeat (who escaped to China to avoid government persecution- which is like joining the Army because you're tired of people telling you what to do) you now know of our continuing efforts to keep you safe. That was never our intention. When you are even tangentially aware of the absurd lengths the National Security Agency will go to keep you and your loved ones out of harm's way, our mission has failed. If you knew half the crap we have to slog through here, your hair would curl, but that's another story altogether. Yes, we're pretty much keeping tabs on everything everyone says and does, all the time, which we understand upsets a few of you. Folks. Don't worry. Nobody's actually listening to any of this stuff. We're just used to collecting it. If it makes you feel any better, think of this whole enterprise as an exceedingly long, government-subsidized episode of "Hoarders." You can trust us. And seriously, anybody who didn't suspect this kind of snooping was going on is not to be trusted with knives in the kitchen without a fencing mask. Privacy is soooo 20th Century. You share the regularity of your bowel movements on Facebook, but we check around to find out who's making coded phone calls to alQaida and suddenly everybody's nose is out of joint? You kidding me? Unfortunately, one of our representatives testified in front of Congress, "no, we aren't collecting data on Americans," when what he meant to say is, "yes, we ARE collecting data on Americans." James Clapper simply gave the "least untruthful answer possible." Then again, Congress knows that getting a straight that you, the citizens of answer from us is hardAmerica, have come to er than bending a wire expect. For the inconcoat-hanger into a numvenience we have ber representing pi to caused, each housethe sixth digit with your hold in America will teeth. All for your proreceive 3 free months tection. of HBO. See, the problem is, If you have any nobody knows who the questions or comments enemy is anymore. Narregarding this matter, rowing suspicion is please contact your much too time-consumCongressperson. ing. Lot easier to wireWill Thanks for your undertap the entire nation standing, and please, than try to pick out the don't bother looking for one or two most devius. You can be sure, ous of you. Besides, we'll be looking after what could be more you. democratic than spying Sincerely. on everybody? Your ever-vigilant We call the process friends at the NSA. data mining. And you, P.S. Don't forget to "like us" on the soft quarry, are producing up to a billion records a day. Which Facebook. is real similar to pulverizing EverRecipient of seven consecutive est, then sifting through the rubble for a blue pebble. It ain't easy, nominations for Stand-Up of the people. Lot of haystacks, not so Year, Will Durst's new one-man show, "BoomerAging: From LSD many needles. To ensure this glitch never to OMG," is presented every occurs again, we are rectifying Tuesday at The Marsh, San the glitcher in order to return our Francisco. Go to... themarsh.org service to the high-level quality for more info. Or willdurst.com. Durst Raging Moderate Your officials STATE ASSEMBLYMAN — Dan Logue, 1550 Humboldt Road, Ste. 4, Chico, CA 95928, 530-895-4217 STATE SENATOR — Jim Nielsen, 2635 Forest Ave., Ste. 110, Chico, CA 95928, (530) 879-7424, senator.nielsen@senate.ca.gov GOVERNOR — Jerry Brown, State Capitol Bldg., Sacramento, CA 95814; (916) 445-2841; Fax (916) 5583160; E-mail: governor@governor.ca.gov. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE — Doug LaMalfa 506 Cannon House Office Building, Washington, DC 20515, 202-2253076. U.S. SENATORS — Dianne Feinstein (D), One Post Street, Suite 2450, San Francisco, CA 94104; (415) 393-0707. Fax (415) 3930710. Barbara Boxer (D), 1700 Montgomery St., Suite 240, San Francisco, CA 94111; (510) 286-8537. Fax (202) 224-0454. Commentary Who is left to fear? As adults, if we don't have to be afraid of the big bad wolf, then of whom should we be afraid? Some fear that our Big Brother government will eventually erode our rights, take away our guns and invade our privacy via examination of our personal records. But let's assume, in a democracy, we will always have checks and balances to protect us. After all, our Republic has worked fairly well for several hundred years so far. That takes us to foreign entanglements…but lately we seem to be resisting the urge to rescue other countries from dictatorship. If that be the case, then what powers or super powers remain that we should fear? The Muslim faction seems to hate us and wants to destroy America. But they appear to lack unity and continue to fight for survival with other religious cults. As long as they lack nuclear capabilities, we can ignore their rant. Perhaps then we are left to fear only...the envelope please....China. According to TIME, China poses a direct threat to our way of life. Liu Mingfu is a self proclaimed expert on Sino-American relations and writes in his book "China Dream" that "when China is threatened, it has no choice but to use war to protect its right to rise and to break through America's military containment." Xi Jinping, the new President of China, predicts that his country will be the chief military power in the Asia Pacific region by 2049. The consensus of China's leaders is that they have endured a "century of humiliation" at foreign hands and it is now payback time economically and perhaps militarily. Today China is the world's second largest economy and could eclipse the U.S. as the biggest within 5 years. The country's 83 million overseas travelers are the world's biggest spenders; its banks hold the most foreign-exchange reserves, its consumers rank as the No. 1 buyer of luxury goods and may well become the world's largest consumer market by 2015. Well, you get the idea. Might not be a bad idea for kids in school in the U.S. to switch their foreign language courses from Spanish to Mandarin Chinese in the decade to come. *** The good news is that the hot dog vendor is back on the corner of Walnut and Jefferson next urges others to do the same. He writes, "He had to the Post Office. The business has apparently known he was dying for quite a long time. It's a changed hands but if the product remains the nice thing to do for your friends. Hey, you get to be the star of the show. Sadly, same, there should be no you won't be able to attend. complaints. Enterprise such Going to a celebration like as this adds flavor to our fair this raises thoughts of mortalcity. An enterprise of a differity in general. One wonders if ent flavor may not be as enterone has done enough for taining. We spoke a week or one's friends and loved ones. so ago of an itinerant musiWe make plans; we make cian on the corner of Main bets that we're going to surand Walnut displaying his vive. And, you know, we're emotions via guitar and song. right thousands of times and He is back, sans guitar, and is only wrong once. A carefully now merely screaming and Robert constructed event is a good shouting and strumming an way to say, 'Thank you' to imaginary instrument. At everyone." least that is what I hope he is *** doing. He is very animated Last week's quiz was and I guess as long as he doesanswered correctly by J. Yinn't frighten the horses, he is exercising his right of free speech. But his per- gling, A.W. Thompson , L. Lazar and R. Ramformance appears to be more caterwauling than sey, but not necessarily in that order. They colartistic... and he might rethink his act if he lectively knew that the U.S. city with 3 "U" and 2"Q" is Albuquerque, that the palindrome createxpects to get to Carnegie Hall. ed when Albert Camus first saw Yma Sumac is *** "The uses of tobacco aren't obvious right off CAMUS SEES SUMAC, and they completed the bat. You shred it, put it on a piece of paper, the old adage "I before E except after C unless roll it up and stick it between your lips...and then sounded as A as in neighbor and weigh." This week's quiz: The name Einstein, and for you set it on fire." Bob Newhart that matter, Senator Feinstein, represent double *** At some point one might have to deal with violations of what rule? Regarding certain numthe subject of burial versus cremation. Today bers, 1 through 12, when written, only one nearly half the populace chooses the latter. This spells a common word when reversed; only one is a tidy and cheaper way to go, but does not has the quantity of letters that match its value, allow for survivors to stroll the cemetery and and which one is the longest word with alternatread the grave stones. And, with advanced tech- ing vowels and consonants? *** nology one can have a recorded announcement A man walked into a crowded local bar, or digital read out on site...even in the deceased's own voice. This is going to take waved a revolver around and yelled, "Who in some looking into. I personally have plenty of here has been romancing my wife?" A voice from the back of the bar yelled, "Pal, time left to consider, but those who did not take care of themselves when they were young may I think you're gonna need more ammo!" want to get with it sooner than later. Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red *** Speaking of the big D, Jon Carroll in the SF Bluff, former columnist for the Corning Chron wrote a fine piece titled, "A life well Daily Observer and Meat Industry worth celebrating" in which he wrote of a magazine and author of the "The Knocking can be reached at friend, recently departed, who planned his own Pen." He going away celebration, so to speak, and Jon rminchandmurray@hotmail.com. Minch I Say