Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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Guess Who's Making Dinner? by PITT DICKEY WE'RE ALL EARS Questions? Comments? Story Ideas? Let us know how we're doing. Your opinion is something we always want to hear. Call or email us your feedback. 208 Rowan St. Fayetteville, NC 28301 910.484.6200 6 JUNE 19-25 2013 www.upandcomingweekly.com be. Sometimes Chinese ownership of businesses is a puzzlement as the King of Siam Guess who is making dinner? Can you say Shuanghui International Holdings? once said. Shuanghui is now a publicly-owned company which was brought public by I knew you could. Shuanghui wants to buy Smithfield Foods for $4.7 billion. our old friends at Goldman Sachs. If you can't trust Goldman Sachs to do the right Whoopee! It's time for Clark Griswold to come out of retirement. Clark is the thing, then who can you trust? What could possibly go wrong with a Chinese food patriarch of the Griswold family who brought us the classic movies, National processor on the Cape Fear River? Lampoon's Family Vacation, Christmas Vacation, and my personal favorite, Vegas Vacation. Clark was an inventor of food additives at a conglomerate when he wasn't Some soreheads may point out that Chinese food items sometimes have out taking his family on exotic vacation trips. Clark can start a whole interesting chemicals added to them just like Clark Griswold used new career in little ol' Tar Heel, North Carolina if Shuanghui gets its to do. Melamine is an industrial chemical that turned up in Chinese wish and buys Smithfield Foods. pet food and baby food. Melamine has been shown to result in the China has a history of specializing in colorful food additives that death of dogs and cats due to kidney failure. But Melamine sure result in greater profits. Chinese food production may be coming does make the food taste pretty. There has been lead in Chinese toothpaste. Yum. Another interesting additive is Cadmium which soon to a neighborhood near you. Clark invented a shellac for recently showed up in rice in China. Cadmium is a heavy metal that breakfast cereal that kept it from getting soggy in milk. He should can lead to cancer and other unpleasant illnesses but really helps the be a cinch to invent new food additives for the company formerly production of rice. One of the more colorful Chinese food products known as Smithfield Foods. Smithfield Foods has a long and excellent is fake mutton that some eastern Chinese entrepreneurs recently reputation for quality products with many loyal customers. Will this Chinese company's attempt to made from a tasty combination of fox, rat and mink meat bonded reputation last if it is sold? buy Smithfield has community up together by chemicals. Save some fake mutton for me. Nothing says Tar Heel, N.C., tends to attract interesting businesses. Way back in in arms. lovin' like fake mutton from the oven. the early 1980s a company wanted to build its first radioactive waste Fayetteville recently had a fund raiser called the Duck Derby incinerator near Tar Heel. The company assured us bumpkins that wherein hundreds of plastic ducks were dumped into the Cape Fear River to raise nothing could go wrong because they were to use "state-of-the art" technology to money for charity. China recently had a Dead Pig Derby wherein thousands of burn radioactive waste. "State-of-the-art" in corporate terms means the technology is so new it hasn't been tried yet and had a chance to fail. The locals around here rose up dead pigs were dumped into the Huangpu River to get rid of the bodies. Could and raised enough commotion about the radioactive waste incinerator that it never got the Cape Fear River have a Dead Pig Derby in its future if the sale goes through? built. Can history repeat itself? In theory the Chinese want to buy Smithfield Foods to ship pork to China. At this Way back in 2011 according to The New York Times, Shuanghui got into a dust up time the Chinese say they are not interested in shipping Chinese pork products in China for selling pork produced with Clenbuterol pellets. Clenbuterol is a veterinary to America. Trust us. Once the snout of the Chinese pork industry gets into the American tent, we shall all sing Kum Bay Yah. Chinese pork may medicine which is not intended to be used in pigs destined for human stomachs. turn out to be much cheaper than American pork. What could be Clenbuterol does produce leaner meat faster. If enough Clenbuterol laced pork is more fun than a Chinese pig picking? You PITT DICKEY, Contributing consumed, it might save on embalming fluid for deceased pork fans. won't even have to refrigerate the leftovers. Writer, COMMENTS? Editor@ Chinese megacorporations tend to spring from a common source, the Chinese They will be well preserved. Army. Shuanghui may well have once been an arm of the Chinese army. It may still upandcomingweekly.com. WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM