Up & Coming Weekly

That Was the Week That Was by PITT DICKEY It was hot last week and love was in the air. How hot was it? As my favorite Three Stooge, Curly would say, “I tried to think but nothing happened.” Fortunately, thinking was not required during the heat wave because colorful things kept happening all week. What can you say about a week that presents us with such comedy gold as a sweet little 91 year old lady found to be keeping company with the corpse of her dead husband and dead sister, Bobby Fischer’s body being exhumed in Iceland, another Manson family parole hearing, Lindsey Lohan going to jail, and Levi Johnston apologizing to Sarah Palin? It just doesn’t get any better than that. Is this a great country or what? As we all know, there are no coincidences. Everything is beautiful in its own way and all events are linked to each other in some mysterious fashion. While we are waiting for mid October to free us from summer’s clutches let us consider these events and try to fi nd the link between them. Ponder for a moment the delightful case of 91 year old Jean Stevens of Wyalusing, Pennsylvania. Mrs. Stevens has a love story right out of Edgar Allen Poe and the Bates Motel. Jean was married to James for almost 60 years. James died in 1999. He had the usual funeral services which resulted in his burial. Then Ms. Stevens did something a little extra. She had James dug up and kept him on the couch in the garage where she could hang out with him. Her sister June died last year and was buried in Jean’s back yard. Having enjoyed the company of her husband’s corpse for 11 years, Jean had June dug up and placed on another couch in the house. If you don’t enjoy hanging out with corpses of loved ones, then you should stay away from Pennsylvania. Recently someone ratted out Jean and the police came and took the bodies of James and June to the county coroner. No charges have been fi led yet against Jean. Apparently Jean’s story will have a happy ending. The Bradford County District Attorney promised to return Jean’s husband and sister to her if Jean builds a crypt for them and leaves them there. Who says the course of true love doesn’t run smoothly? It’s a beautiful story. Former chess Grandmaster of the Known Universe and all around nutjob Bobby Fischer died intestate in Iceland in 2008. That means there is an ongoing fi ght for his money. Allegedly Grandmaster Bobby hooked up with a lady named Marilyn in the Philippines and from this union produced a daughter, Jinky, now age 9. If paternity can be proved, then Jinky will inherit Bobby’s ivory chess set and some cash. By order of an Icelandic Judge, Bobby’s body was dug up for DNA paternity testing to see who gets his money. Another beautiful love and death story. Leslie Van Houten, one of the Manson family murderers, came up for her 19th parole hearing the same week. Leslie has been in the slammer since the early 1970s for her role in killing Leno and Rosemary La Bianca. Leslie apparently has been a model inmate. Other than participating in killing two innocent human beings, she now claims to be ready to return to polite society. She loved Charlie Manson. She only killed because he asked her to do so. Another love story, this time not so beautiful. Lindsay Lohan got herself sentenced to jail for 90 days because she was too busy to attend court ordered alcohol treatment sessions. Lindsay is in the slammer because of her love affair with alcohol, drugs and herself. She just loved too much. This is a bit of a tawdry love story. Finally in our love story line up is the apology of Levi Johnston to Sarah Palin for making up cranky lies about her after his break up with Bristol. It was national news that Levi apologized, pushing the BP oil deluge off the lead story. The media loves a love story. What is the unifying theme of all these seemingly unrelated events? Love means never having to say you are sorry. Except when you get caught. PITT DICKEY, Contributing Writer. COMMENTS? Editor@upandcomingweekly.com. n n di a *Lunch Buffet M-S 11-3 Sun 12-4 b Fine Dining M-Th 5-10 F-Sat 5-11 Full Service Bar • Large Parties • Catering • Take Out Reservations Accepted “Exquisite Indian cuisine prepared by a world renowned chef.” 3401-A Raeford Rd. (Formerly Pierro’s) Next to All American Freeway 433-4351 • shalimarfaync@yahoo.com 6 UCW JULY 21-27, 2010 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM A i r W e o p x lr E d e C l nisi Halal Meat Vegetarian & Non-Vegeta egetarian eget ria as s *Items Change Daily! NOW OPEN ms Cha g D ily ms C ms Ch Daily! C u I e n c e

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