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Tuesday, June 4, 2013 – Daily News 3B FEATURES Woman new to dating scene having trouble heartwarming to read stories of grandparents being reunited with their grandchildren after so many mild to moderate DEAR DOCyears of estrangement. discomfort. TOR K: I recently Possible risks had a PSA test and What bothers me about these letof a prostate biopmy levels came ters, however, is that they are onesy include: sided. Fifteen years ago, I parted back elevated. I'm — pain scheduled to have ways with my family when I hung — erectile a prostate biopsy. up on my father. I didn't find the problems What can I humor in his jokes about the life— blood in the long physical and mental abuse I expect? urine or stool DEAR READsuffered at the hands of my mother. Dr. K — short-term ER: The prostateby Anthony L. rectal bleeding Since then, my parents have not specific antigen contacted me, and I have not con- (PSA) blood test Komaroff, M.D. — blood in the semen tacted them. Meanwhile, I have is a screening test — difficulty urinating to detect received letters and cards from fam- designed ily members telling me to change prostate cancer before — urinary incontinence — urinary tract or my evil ways and let my parents symptoms develop. An into my life. I have run into people elevated PSA value can prostate gland infection If your biopsy result is who lecture me about my rude suggest that cancer may behavior. I know about the com- be present. But only a positive, that means it has mandment to honor my mother and prostate biopsy can con- confirmed the presence of father, but honestly, I am much hap- firm the actual presence cancer in your prostate. If the biopsy specimen pier not having my parents or their of cancer. A prostate biopsy shows cancer, it's cancer. abuse in my life. This is not the way I would have chosen to live, and it involves removing snip- But some prostate cancers saddens me that I am made to be the pets of tissue from the just sit there for the rest of villain in a situation where it takes prostate and checking your life and never cause two to tango. — Family-Free from them for cancerous cells trouble, whereas others under a microscope. Your do cause problems. The Wisconsin prostate gland lies right main question your doctor next to your rectum, and asks when the biopsy is Annie's Mailbox is written by the rectum is a passage- positive: What kind of prostate cancer is this? Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, way inside your body. The detailed biopsy During the biopsy, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your your doctor will insert an findings will help you and questions to ultrasound probe into your doctor decide what anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or your rectum. The ultra- kind of prostate cancer write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o sound probe sends out you have, the extent and Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, sound waves that travel location of the cancer, and into the prostate and how malignant the cells Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. bounce back like an echo look. This information in a canyon. When they helps your doctor deterbounce back, they create a mine how aggressive your picture of your prostate cancer will be and the gland. The picture shows best course of action. If no cancerous cells the parts of the prostate that look like they might are found in the samples, have cancer. This helps that's a good sign. But identify the best targets there's still some room for doubt. About 10 percent just a retirement pro- ower, unmarried children for the biopsy. Guided by the ultra- of biopsies are "false neggram, you should know up to age 19 and still in that Social Security also high school, and under sound picture, the doctor atives." This means they provides survivors insur- certain circumstances, uses a spring-loaded have missed existing canance benefits for workers stepchildren, grandchil- "biopsy gun" that directs cer. Yes, the prostate biopand their families. If dren, stepgrandchildren, a needle into the part of the prostate that looks sy can have side effects you're like most people, adopted children, and cancerous. The device and can sometimes miss the value of the survivors dependent parents. If you'd like to learn quickly sends a needle cancer. But the developinsurance you have under Social Security is proba- more about survivors through your rectal wall ment of ultrasound picbly more than the value benefits, and how to and into the prostate. The tures and biopsy guns and of any individual life apply, you should read needle removes small tis- needles has made the insurance you may own. our publication, Sur- sue samples — a typical diagnosis of prostate canAnd you don't even need vivors Benefits, available biopsy removes 10 to 12 cer much more accurate t samples. When the needle and has saved many lives. to sign up for a separate a policy; by working and www.socialsecurity.gov/ is withdrawn from the Dr. Komaroff is a body, the prostate tissue paying Social Security pubs. physician and professor You can find addition- inside the needle is examtax, you are most likely at Harvard Medical already insured without al useful information, ined with a microscope to School. To send look for cancer. such as our survivors even knowing it. questions, go to You may feel a slight Family members who planner and information or pinch as the needle AskDoctorK.com, may be able to receive about how to apply for survivors benefits based survivors benefits, at punches into the prostate write: Ask Doctor K, 10 on your work record www.socialsecurity.gov/ gland and takes the sam- Shattuck St., Second ple. Most men feel only Floor, Boston, MA 02115. include a widow or wid- pgm/survivors.htm. that interest you. This will Dear Annie: I was overhave the added benefit of weight throughout most of making you more interesting my childhood and became to be around. Good luck. morbidly obese after high Dear Annie: I have a school. When I was in colbeautiful granddaughter lege, I had terrible selfwho is getting married in esteem and a horrible body June. However, I am not image. I never dated. invited to the wedding. I've Three years ago, I had gastric bypass and have Annie's been told they are keeping it really small because of the since lost more than 200 size of the facility. But I pounds. I've been trying to start dating, but the individ- by Kathy Mitchell found out there will be about uals I have approached are and Marcy Sugar 20 guests. I'm invited to the reception, and I've already either seeing someone else or are not interested. I tried online been told what gift my granddaughdating sites, but the men who ter wants as a wedding present. It's responded all live far away, some in quite pricey. I thought I had a good relationother countries, and I'm leery of proceeding. I am not sure about the ship with my grandkids. But somebar scene and am unaware of any times it seems I'm only needed when they want expensive things. singles groups in my area. So, I guess I would like some Should I keep quiet about this hurt? advice on how and where to start I'm not sure I can go to the receprelationships. — Breaking Out of tion, and that may cause a larger distance between us. — Upset My Shell Dear Breaking: There are better Grandmother Dear Upset: Of course, we online dating sites that will match you up with men in your area (or at would hope the bride would want least in the same country). Try her grandmother to be at the wedagain. You also should ask your ding, but let's not jump to conclufriends and relatives to introduce sions. A ceremony with 20 guests is you to available men they know. exceedingly small and also includes Local churches and synagogues members of the groom's immediate often have singles groups, and you family, of whom there may be should be able to attend some func- many. If you can possibly attend the tions without having to be a mem- reception, it would be lovely. Either ber. Most importantly, project a way, you are under no obligation to confident, positive exterior. Smile. purchase an expensive wedding preGuys like women who are fun to sent simply because your grandtalk to. And while you are searching daughter asked for one. Dear Annie: It was amazing and for a date, participate in activities Mailbox Not all prostate cancer needs special treatement Strong families survive, Social Security helps By Jennifer Cooper Social Security Manager in Redding In June we celebrate National Family Month, which is a great time to reflect on your family and how to make it stronger. As the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reminds us, strong families share many valuable qualities: trust, commitment, communication, growth, affection, fun, and love. Strong families are more likely to grow through a crisis, allowing the difficult experience to bring them even closer together. In the unfortunate event of a family member's death, we want you to know that Social Security is here to help. In addition to the emotional difficulty family members experience, there is often a financial burden as well, especially if the family's main wage earner dies. In such cases, Social Security survivors benefits will help. Did you know that nearly every child in America could get Social Security survivors benefits if a working parent dies? And Social Security pays more benefits to children than any other federal program. Although many people think Social Security is HOME SERVICES DIRECTORY Online: Publishes 24/7 $ 109 Print and Online Per Month No early cancellation, non-refundable Building Construction Burrows Construction Three additional online locations at no extra cost! In Print Every Tues. - Thurs.- Sat. Construction R. G. 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