Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/13344
2B – Daily News – Wednesday, July 14, 2010 Frazzled father feels frustration See dermatologits for rosacea Dear Annie: My girlfriend got pregnant during our senior year, so I married her to do the right thing. At first, it was great living together, even with the baby. But now, five years later, we have two kids and she’s pregnant again. I know it takes both of us to make a baby, but she is the one responsible for birth control, and I didn’t want any more kids. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar marrying young and for obligatory rea- sons is that you feel you’ve missed out. Your wife is equally ‘‘trapped.’’ The rest- lessness you are experiencing can be managed if you and your wife love each other and are both willing to work on it. Talk to your cler- gyperson, or find low-cost counseling The only fun I have is playing league baseball, and once in a while, I get out with the guys. Annie, I’m only 23 and want more out of life. We both work, but after paying the bills, we don’t have a dime left. Sex is rare. I work around hot women all the time. My wife is going to take two months off of work before the baby is born, and life at home will be miserable. With another child, she will be grumpier than ever. I feel trapped. My friends, single and married, have a lot more fun than I do. Sometimes after a few drinks, I feel a rage inside and have to walk away to calm down. Don’t you think my wife has some responsibility to be more loving to me? I don’t even know what my question is, but I know something has to change. — Tired of It All Dear Tired: We com- mend you for being respon- sible, but one problem with through United Way or the YMCA. Also keep in mind that as your friends get married and start families, the differences between you will be less noticeable. (And P.S.: If your wife keeps getting pregnant and you don’t want any more children, you should be in charge of birth control.) Dear Annie: You were way off in your response to ‘‘Pagan in a Christian Fam- ily.’’ To tell someone with different religious beliefs to simply sit quietly during a blessing and try not to upset anyone is ridiculous. Her family should honor her wishes and simply do noth- ing. Maybe when they are about to say these magic words, she could get up from the table and go into the next room. Sitting qui- etly gives consent. She is being persecuted. Don’t let them get away with it. — M.D. Dear M.D.: It is not ‘‘persecution’’ to sit respectfully during some- one’s prayer in their own home, at their own table, even if their beliefs are dif- ferent from yours. Read on for more: From Santa Cruz, FEATURES DEAR DR. GOTT: For about Calif.: I, too, am a Pagan, and most of my family is Christian. I have no prob- lem sitting through a prayer at family gatherings. I deal with it by silently thanking The Goddess when God is mentioned and My Lady when our Lord is thanked. Part of the philosophy of Wicca is ‘‘and harm none,’’ and she is harming herself by stressing over this. We can’t change how others view the world. We can only change how we respond. I would encourage her to live her life by exam- ple and learn to be tolerant of others. Oregon: I’m also the only Witch in a Christian family. In order to receive respect from other family members, I not only show respect for their rituals in their own homes, but wel- come their mealtime prayers at mine. I don’t recite them, but remain, as you say, respectfully silent while I inwardly thank my own deities. If I were to be verbally attacked or had some truly objectionable ritual thrust on me, I would stand my ground. But I don’t consid- er mealtime prayers offen- sive. Please, ‘‘Pagan,’’ don’t add to the hatred and spiri- tual intolerance that perme- ates this world. As the Wic- can Rede says, if it ‘‘harms none,’’ then do what you will. This should go for all belief systems, not just ours. — Oregon Pagan Woman two years, I had constant facial pain in my cheeks, jaw and behind my eyes with a feeling of constant pressure in my upper palate, sinuses, jaw and cheek, in addition to the pain and pressure in my front teeth. I also had red- ness on my cheeks, nose and down the left side of my neck. I consulted with my dentist who fitted me with upper and lower mouth guards, which I wear at night. He told me that I grind my teeth with a side- to-side motion and push my upper front teeth forward with my bottom front teeth. After a year and a half, the guards still had not relieved any of the pain. Recently, I consulted with my prima- ry-care physician regarding flushing and the redness on my cheeks and nose. I was diagnosed with rosacea and prescribed metronidazole gel to be applied twice a day. I was advised that it would only help reduce the redness and not the pain. However, after three days of using the gel, my facial pain was reduced by half and after 10 days, it was all but gone. I missed using it one day, and the pain returned. Just a couple of days after restarting, the pain went away again. Because I haven’t made any other changes, I believe the gel is responsible but don’t know why since my doctor clearly stated that it was not a pain reliev- er. Can you tell me why this happened? DEAR READER: Rosacea is a disor- der of the skin that causes redness, inflammation, swelling, small pus-filled bumps and a host of other symptoms. It most commonly occurs on the face, but may develop on other areas of the body. According to the National Rosacea Society, many sufferers report burning, stinging, itching or a feeling of tightness across the affected areas. I could not find documentation of facial pain or pressure as known symptoms. However, this is not to say that it is unrelated because inflam- mation and swelling can cause pain. It is my theory that your facial pain was probably due to inflamma- tion caused by the rosacea and by using the metronidazole gel, you effectively reduced or eliminated this source of the pain. Because you do not mention Dr. Peter Gott having seen a dermatologist, I recommend that you make an appointment with one to confirm the diagnosis and undergo regular monitoring. Rosacea rarely gets better on its own and often wors- ens over time if not treated. While I do not doubt your primary-care physician’s diagnosis, I do believe you should get a second opinion from a specialist to ensure that you do, in fact, have rosacea and are being correctly treated. He or she will also be able to offer other treatment suggestions and helpful home-care tips. In the meantime, stick with the pre- scription gel. You should also be gentle when washing your face and avoid or sparingly use lotions, creams and cos- metics because they may aggravate your symptoms. Avoid touching your face. Use sunscreen and oil-free mois- turizers and cosmetics once the topical medication has dried. Extreme temper- ature changes, alcohol, sun exposure, stress and spicy foods may trigger symptoms. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Dermatitis, Eczema and Psoriasis.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wick- liffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. HOME SERVICES DIRECTORY $7900 Blinds Runs Every Monday - Wednesday - Friday $8900 with a 3 month commitment Building Construction R. G. 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