Up & Coming Weekly

NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD New York state school offi cials had promised to crack down on soft test- grading to end the near-automatic grade- advancement by students unprepared for promotion. However, a June New York Post report found that the problem lingers under the current grading guideline called “holistic rubrics.” Among examples cited by the Post (from a 4th-grade math test): How many inches long is a “2-foot-long skateboard”? (Answer: 24; “half-credit” answer: 48). Also, if you have 35 book boxes, and each contains 10 books, how many books are there? (Answer: 350; “half-credit” answer: 150). [New York Post, 6-6-10] CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE According to a May report by Seattle’s KOMO-TV, former Oregon National Guardsman Gary Pfl eider II is awaiting the results of his latest appeal to end the garnishment of his disability checks to cover $3,175 for gear he supposedly “lost” when he was shot in Iraq. Pfl eider was hit in the leg by a sniper in 2007, bled profusely and was evacuated (and is awaiting his ninth surgery on the leg), but the Oregon Guard apparently believes that, despite the trauma, Pfl eider somehow should have paused to inventory the equipment he was carrying and to make arrangements for its safekeeping during his imminent hospitalization. [KOMO-TV (Seattle), 5-28-10] To ease the crowds entering the Texas Capitol building in Austin, offi cials recently opened an “express” line, bypassing most security precautions, for selected visitors and personnel. Obviously, members of the legislature use the express line, along with Capitol employees presenting ID. A third category of favored visitors: anyone with a Texas concealed-weapons carry permit. The Houston Chronicle reported in June that the lobbyists frustrated with the long security lines have been applying for concealed-weapons permits even if they expect never to touch a fi rearm. [Houston Chronicle, 6-2-10] Though he reportedly hacks more frequently lately, 2-year-old Ardi Rizal of Banyuasin, Indonesia, continues to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day, according to a May dispatch in London’s Daily Mail and other news reports. Local offi cials offered Ardi’s parents a new car if they convinced him to quit, but the mother warned that her son throws massive, head-banging tantrums if deprived of his smokes, and his fi sherman father, noting Ardi’s generous girth, says the kid looks fi ne to him. (Unfortunately for the parents, Ardi prefers only a certain high-end brand, which costs the equivalent of about $2.75 a pack.) [Daily Mail, 5-26-10] COPYRIGHT 2010 CHUCK SHEPHERD 22 UCW JULY 7-13, 2010 WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES (March 21-April 19) There is nothing wrong with fi nding out you have limits. Knowing when to stop is not the same thing as giving up. And just because you’re not moving forward doesn’t mean you’re moving backward. You might have to stop what you’re doing to fi nd a truer calling. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Feelings are neither right nor wrong, neither logical nor illogical. They just are. Instead of trying to fi ght them or make them what you think they should be, accept them. Only then will you be able to work with them and use them to your advantage. You’ll get help from a fellow earth sign — that’s Capricorn or Virgo. GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Imagine your future the way you want it to be. This opens doors in your psyche. In the process, you may come to the realization that you have access to far greater wisdom than you ever knew was inside you. CANCER (June 22-July 22) Some people do their best work in phases, editing bits and parts together into a pleasing whole. You like to do it all in one hot stint. Both are fi ne, but this week you might get a little help from an editor type. Ac- cepting and applying notes from a knowledgeable person will take your work to the next level. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) There are a lot of songs in the world, but yours is the most important because it’s yours. In a related matter, someone adores you and wants to be adored back. Find- ing novel ways to share your love — or just to fl irt — will be a fun pastime. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You tend to like things that involve a lot of people at once, so the work- related gathering that’s on the schedule for this week is right up your alley. It can go whichever way you want it to go — you could create the opportune moment for a bold move or just enjoy an easy hang with people you like. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) If you were a superhe- ro, you’d be called “Rulebender.” This week, you’ll have another showdown with your arch-nemesis, “Uptight Guy.” Your victory will free you — and perhaps him, as well! SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) If you win, will the people around you win, too? This week, your relationships have a powerful impact on your ability to do what you want to do with your life. Formulate goals that include others and will motivate them to motivate you. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) If you’re not feeling particularly optimistic, don’t worry. Trust that things will be provided for you this week, and enjoy it when they are. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) If you haven’t found the opportunity to fi re up your motivation, it may be that your current zone has gotten too comfortable. Get out and explore. New experi- ences, people and stimulation will bring out your best. The one who will ignite your passion for life is likely a fi re sign — Aries, Leo or Sagittarius. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Muster up the courage to take a chance. If it doesn’t go how you want it to go, no regrets. Never “shoulda,” and defi nitely don’t “woulda.” Just seize the moment. And if you don’t, it’s either because you weren’t ready or because you thought better of it — no shame in that, either. Stand proud behind your choices. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) No one is immune to life’s frustrations. Sometimes the check really isn’t in the mail and the phone doesn’t ring when it’s supposed to, or when it does, it’s the wrong person on the line. Your stellar attitude will help you rise above these petty disturbances and focus on what’s going right in your world — an awful lot. By Holiday Mathis Womack Army Medical Center Presents September 18, 2010 9:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. All-American Entrance Clinic Mall TRICARE briefi ngs Vision Screening • Audiology Screening Nutrition Counseling eening Breast Exams & Mammograms Physical Therapy Education Blood Pressure/Cholesterol Screening Pharmacy Counseling Dental Screening (Oral Cancer Screening) Social Work Education Wills and Advanced Directi Prostrate Screening L For more information call Retirement Services at 1.800.535.6067 or WAMC Public Affairs Of ce 910.907.7247/9924 Please remember to bring a list of your medications for review. ectives Representative from VA Medical Center Lots of other educational services available ADVICE GODDESS The Woman Who Mistook Her Sink- hole for a Boyfriend I’m thinking of postponing my wedding. My fi ance seems incapable of being apart from me. We dated long distance, so I didn’t realize the extent of his clinginess until we moved in together. If I want some “me time,” he gets offended. If I don’t stand or sit next to him or cuddle with him, he claims I don’t like him. If I eat lunch with a friend instead of him (as I do daily), he’s upset. Even when we spend time with my family, there are repercus- sions (moping and drama when we get home). I do try to take his upbringing into consideration. His parents divorced when he was 9, and neither wants much to do with him or his brother. Ini- tially, I found his behavior sweet … as in, “How cute that my fi ance wants to come with me to the grocery store or to buy shoes,” but now I’m thinking, “Hey, Crazy, calm down, I’ll see you tonight, and I can go to the store without you.” — Smothered Even an emo- tionally together person can feel a little pang when Amy Alkon their partner’s going away for a time — like, to Europe for a week, not to Rite- Aid for a box of tampons. You might end up giving birth to a clingy child, but you sure shouldn’t marry one. In a healthy relationship, two fully functioning adults come together; they aren’t bolted together. They stay together because they love each other — meaning they respect and admire each other, have more fun together, and are better together than alone. What you have isn’t love, but a guy dressing up pathological need in a love suit and manipulating you with cuddly-wuddly coerciveness: “Just stay and snuggle — or I’ll pout till the end of time.” You’ve got a choice: live with constant confl ict or avoid seeing your family and friends — or doing any- thing that’ll trigger his abandonment issues, like going to the mailbox or the ladies’ room. Even if your fi ance wanted to change (and it seems he hasn’t yet been motivated), he isn’t going to become a full, independent person in six months or a year. It’s probably tempting to try to make it work and make allowances for his past, but just picture yourself once his neediness has not only the force of habit from your putting up with it, but a state license behind it. Sure, you can always get divorced — that is, if you can fi gure out the combi- nation to get out the front door. (c)2010, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM

• Cover