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G.I. No G.I. Joe Retaliation (Rated PG-13) by HEATHER GRIFFITHS The cartoons were fun, violent and took Zartan so long to ask the Real nonsensical. Unfortunately, G.I. Joe: POTUS where they were? Retaliation (110 minutes) doesn't Once Zartan has the information, manage to capture any of that he sends Firefly (Ray Stevenson) to magic. It does resemble a cartoon wipe out the GIs. He manages to in several ways, though. The charget most of them, but Roadblock, acters are flat stereotypes, the bad Flint (DJ Cotrona) and Lady Jaye guys are completely (Adrianne Palicki) one-note, and after survive. They set off about 30 minutes through the desert it's time to change and find an isolated the channel. If only landing field and I had the option to make plans to sneak change the channel! aboard a plane and There is an inget back to the troduction that has USA. If you were very little to do expecting an excitwith the rest of the ing scene where they movie. The GIs are infiltrate the airbase violating the Korean and steal a plane demilitarized zone while shooting up a to rescue a defecbunch of bad guys, tor. But then they prepare for disapfind something has pointment, since the changed. Like there scene shifts from is a flag, but it's not the three surviving the North Korean Joes making plans to flag or something? them walking down I was watching the middle of an very closely, and I still don't underAmerican street. Boring. stand why the flag was significant. Meanwhile, Snake Eyes (Ray It wasn't a Cobra flag, but it makes Park) was apparently captured by Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson) end the military and taken to the secret the scene with some inappropriate prison. However, he did not get a language. Then, there are opening trial and was not searched to the excredits done in a trading card style. tent that anyone took off his mask. The vital stats of various Cobras and And then, when he gets to the secret Joes are flashed across the screen prison it turns out that the warden with helpful pics and exposition re(Walton Goggins) is more concerned garding what they have been doing about speechifying than securing since the 2009 G.I. Joe: The Rise the weapons of his prisoner. And of Cobra. Even though it is now when he finds out the prisoner is 2013 and I can't remember anything not Snake Eyes, but Storm Shadow about the first movie, this introduc(Byung-Hun Lee), he figures one tion isn't the slightest bit helpful, prisoner is as good as the next and since it is just a series of names and preps him for a high tech form of descriptions overlapping each other. solitary confinement. Also, it is mumbled. Overall, the only fun thing about After the rogue's gallery, we zoom this bloated and overwrought atin on Zartan (Arnold Vosloo) pretempt at a popcorn movie is watchtending to be the President of the ing the actors try to maintain a United States (Jonathan Pryce). straight face as they utter such winApparently Fake President has been ning lines as "Get me the G.I. Joes!" more or less behaving himself while The actors were simply not up to also blowing stuff up and keeping the challenge of saying that without the Real POTUS in some kind of sounding like 10-year-old boys. Also abandoned fallout shelter to taunt Bruce Willis is there, credited as The and torture at will. This is all part Original G.I. Joe, but actually playof a grand plan that includes getting ing his character from RED. the Real POTUS to tell Zartan where Now showing at Wynnsong 7, Destro and the Cobra Commander Carmike 12 and Carmike Market (Luke Bracey) are being held. The Fair 15. timeline here is sort of screwy. The dialogue implies that Destro and the Cobra Commander have HEATHER GRIFFITHS, Contributing been in this secret prison for Writer. COMMENTS? Editor@upandat least a few weeks, so what comingweekly.com. 18 UCW MAY 8-14, 2013 MAY 11 • BUFFALO SOLDIERS MC CAR WASH at O'Reilly Auto Parts on South Eastern Boulevard. 8 a.m. - 3 p.m. Proceeds benefit the charities supported by the Buffalo Soldiers MC. Call 2231043 for more information. MAY 24-26 • SPRING FLING AT LEGEND'S PUB Call 867.2364 for more information. JUNE 15 • FASHRM SCHOLARSHIP FUND MOTORCYCLE RIDE at Arnette Park. Reg 9-9:45 a.m., ride 10 a.m. $10/rider, $15 rider/passenger. Meal, raffles, awards. Call 366-3983 for more information. JUNE 22 • 3RD ANNUAL HOME GROWN HEROES FALLEN OFFICER MEMORIAL RIDE at the Cumberland County Courthouse. Reg 8 a.m., ride 9:45 a.m., $25/rider $15/pass. Benefits NC C.O.P.S. and other local charities. Sponsored by Blue Knights NC XIII of Fayetteville. Find out more ar www. fayettevillencblueknightsXIII.org. JULY 21 • CHRISTMAS IN JULY TOY RUN AT VICTORY OF FAYETTEVILLE. Reg 8 a.m. depart at 10 a.m. $15/rider $10 pass. Lunch provided by Texas Roadhouse. Contest, prizes and raffles, food, and Live Entertainment. Call 910-426-5082 or 910-261-4601 for more information. PATRIOT GUARD RIDERS The Patriot Guard Riders is a diverse group of patriots from every state that come together to honor fallen soldiers at funeral services across the country. Visit www.patriotguard.org for more information about the group. Spring Fling • SAVE THESE DATES • May 24, 25 & 26 MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND All proceeds to benefit Kidsville USA For more information, call 4624 BRAGG BLVD. The Big Ones • May 10 to 19, Myrtle Beach Bike Week Spring Rally, Myrtle Beach, S.C. • August 5 to 11, Sturgis, S.D. • October 2 to 6, Myrtle Beach Bike Week Fall Rally, Myrtle Beach, S.C. • October 17 to 20, Biketoberfest, Daytona, Fla. WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM