CityView Magazine

on second thought Wise Words from Four Wise Men I By Mary Zahran n this season of graduations and weddings, without a map or navigation system. we hear many people offer advice about life. College graduates receive advice about the "real world" from guest speakers and bridal couples endure jokes and toasts as family and friends give them tips for a happy marriage. I, too, would like to pass on some advice, but in a different fashion. The words I offer are not my own, but those of four men who have, in one way or another, shaped my life. Two of them passed from my life many years ago; one died just two years ago and the fourth is still very much alive and kicking. Their words — serious or amusing, erudite or simply heartfelt — have remained with me long after they were spoken. These words became some of the best advice I ever received because they apply not only to writing, but to other tasks as well. If we all thought through our plans before implementing them, we might avoid a lot of chaos and heartache. "I guess I just kept going." My maternal grandfather, who died over 25 years ago, said these words once while describing his life as a young husband and father in the early days of the Depression. His name was Os Barnes, and he was the closest thing to a saint that I am likely to encounter in this life (with the possible exception of my mother-in-law). He talked about the difficulty of finding work and about his fear that he would not be able to support The words I offer are not my own, but those of four men who have, in one way or another, shaped my life. "Show me a man who knows where he's going, and I'll show you a man who is already there." While these words are attributed to Ernest Hemingway, I first heard them from my freshman English professor, Dr. Michael Reynolds, a noted Hemingway scholar. Because I was 18 at the time and clueless about nearly everything, I didn't understand this statement, but its meaning became clear to me much later. My moment of enlightenment came at an intersection as I was waiting for the light to change. Suddenly, I found myself saying, "I get it! Now I know what Mike was saying to me all those years ago." He was trying to explain that a person must think through an essay before attempting to write it. One does not just sit down and start writing; a good writer knows his or her destination before beginning the journey. Otherwise, the writer gets lost and rambles, much like a traveler 14 | May/June • 2013 his family. Eventually, his skill as a brick mason would take him as far away as West Virginia, where he built schools for the Works Progress Administration. When I asked him how he managed to get through that difficult time, he took his cigar out of his mouth, smiled at me, and said very simply that he just kept going. My grandfather was a man of few words, but those words were worth hearing. His philosophy of survival was not scholarly or profound. He simply put one foot in front of the other, kept moving forward and never looked back. That attitude helped him to become a successful businessman, a devoted and much-loved father and grandfather and a respected member of his community. "Locks are only for honest men." This was one of my father's favorite sayings and I must have heard it a million times in my childhood. My dad was

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