Up & Coming Weekly

NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD America: What a Country! In 2007, after a stay in the United States distinguished mainly by his acquisition of a long police record, illegal immigrant Cecil Harvey, 55, was deported to his native Barbados. However, according to records revealed by the New York Post in May, Harvey received, in late 2009, one last remembrance of America: $145,000 from the city of New York in settlement of his lawsuit over having once been held at Rikers Island jail for about a month longer than the law permitted. [New York Post, 5-9-10] Ironies Betty Lou Lynn, 83, was mugged and had her wallet stolen in her new hometown of Mount Airy, N.C., in April. Lynn is the actress who played Barney Fife’s best girl, Thelma Lou, in the Andy Griffi th TV show and had lived in Los Angeles until she became alarmed at the city’s crime rate. She decided in 2007 to move to the quieter, peaceful Mount Airy, which was Griffi th’s birthplace and the model for the TV town of Mayberry. [USA Today-Mount Airy News, 4-30-10] Gary Null fi led a lawsuit in New York City in April against the maker of a nutrition supplement called Ultimate Power Meal, alleging that he had suffered constant pain, kidney damage and internal bleeding from the product’s recommended daily regimen. Ultimate Power Meal is one of the “health” supplements packaged under the label of ... Gary Null, a nationally prominent pitchman for homeopathic remedies. Null is suing the manufacturer who supplies the product on which Null affi xes his Ultimate Power Meal label. (According to consumer advisers at Quackwatch. org, Null is “one of the nation’s leading promoters of dubious treatment for serious disease.”) [New York Daily News, 4-28-10] According to court records cited by The Washington Post in April, Rene Fernandez, 45, will plead guilty to one count of a DUI-caused injury in connection with a 2009 traffi c accident in Montgomery County, Md., that severely injured a retired county judge and his wife, both in their 80s. Fernandez and the judge, Edwin Collier, had met previously, in 1998, when Judge Collier pronounced sentence on Fernandez for DUI. At that time, Judge Collier released Fernandez on probation, even though Fernandez had been arrested for DUI twice in the previous three months. [Washington Post, 4-10-10, 4-14-10] COPYRIGHT 2010 CHUCK SHEPHERD WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES (March 21-April 19) You’ll work with those who like to talk things through, weigh the consequences and speculate about the end result of every decision. In contrast, you just do what feels right. However, you’ll still do what feels right, regardless of the rest. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) This week loosens up your working process. Stream of consciousness writing, speaking or drawing will get you into a very creative mode. What comes to you will be brilliant — but maybe not the fi rst thing, or the fi rst three things for that mat- ter. As you muddle on though, you’ll connect with true inspiration. GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Staying on task won’t always ensure that a job will get done. This week brings many a lengthy, loopy detour both in your actions and in your conversations. Rambling on can be beautiful. Getting to the point is overrated. CANCER (June 22-July 22) Someone is learning from you and may even borrow a few of your mannerisms, matters of speech and opinions, to boot. It’s enough work to cultivate your own tastes and attitudes. And now you feel slightly respon- sible for someone else’s, too. Well, at least you’re contributing to the refi nement of the planet. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Contrary to the edict of the television commercials, a bubble bath isn’t going to solve your problems. In fact, pampering and lollygagging will only delay the resolution. So don’t go soft on the situation now. Whatever the mess may be, you are more likely to walk it out or talk it out than you are to wash it out. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Sometimes, when people say “we miss you,” what they really mean is that they miss having your business or, more specifi - cally, your money. This week you’ll fi nd out that you are genuinely missed for your energy, attitude, friendliness and contribution to the lives of others. And because of this, you may return for a visit. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) It’s easy enough for others to say “believe in yourself,” but how is this actually accomplished? And how do you know when it’s done? Take every step you can to be self-suffi cient physically and emotionally. When you don’t feel you need another person for your survival, it’s done SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Your pace will quicken this week as you realize the opportu- nity ahead of you is a sliding door that only stays open long enough for one or two people to walk through. The news you get Thursday will inspire travel. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) When you’re deciding what to do next, the brainstorming stage is an important one. A blank sheet of paper may be your best friend this week and will certainly be the gateway to an adventure. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) A number of interesting characters will pass through your week, and you’ll hone your social skills as you go from one communication to the next. There’s a feeling that you’re headed somewhere, that all the relation- ships are culminating into something important, but it’s too soon to say what. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You have stellar ideas, and you follow through. But sometimes you get so driven toward a goal that you lose the habits that keep you feeling strong and healthy. Stable patterns are deeply important to keeping you on track. Make a list of all that needs to be done on a daily basis to maintain the optimum you. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Work that encour- ages you to exercise your verbal talents will be favored. You may not feel that you have anything special to tell the world, but that is not entirely true. While your message is not exactly news, coming from you it has a whole new meaning. By Holiday Mathis ADVICE GODDESS Gilbert Grope I met a nice man (so I thought) who lives about 40 miles away. On our second date, we had drinks in my neighborhood. He drank too much, and asked to hang at my house so he wouldn’t drive under the influence. I didn’t like this because I’m used to guys using this ploy for sex, but he said if I didn’t let him in, I was making him drive drunk. I grudgingly allowed him in, and he immediately started making moves on me. Eventually, I tried to send him home, but he said he was still in no position to drive, so I kicked him out early in the morning. What were my obligations here? Every man I asked said I shouldn’t have risked letting him in. As one said, “Better a strange drunk on the road than a strange drunk in your home, where he could rape you.” I have yet to ask a woman who can give me a definitive answer; they’re all as conflicted as I am. —Manhandled If a stranger comes to your door and says, “I’m too drunk to drive home,” you don’t say, “No problem, I’ll make up the bed!” Yet, this guy’s a near stranger, one you didn’t want in your home — even before he took the post-date sex ploy to a remarkable new low. Amy Alkon A guy might present you with an either/or situation, but that doesn’t mean those are your only choices. In this case, you should’ve told the guy to cab it to a motel. (To borrow from your friend, “Better a strange drunk cabbing to Motel 6 than a strange drunk turning your home into Motel Sex.”) If your date insists on driving drunk, call the cops, report a drunk driver, and give them a description of his car. Of course, it’s possible he isn’t really drunk, just trying to con his way in, but that’s for the cop who stops him to determine: “I can touch my finger to my nose just fine, Officer, but I’m having real problems getting my hand up a girl’s shirt.” It isn’t surprising that all your Theatre girlfriends are “conflicted” about what you should’ve done. In fact, other women would have given in like you did — not necessarily because they’re weak or dumb, but because they’re women: the gender that evolved to be the nurturers, peacemakers, and consensus builders of the species. You have to decide before you’re in a dicey situation that your comfort level and safety take priority over possibly coming across as rude or unsympathetic. Keep in mind, as Gavin de Becker writes in The Gift of Fear, that “’No’ is a complete sentence,” and if you let somebody talk you out of it, “you might as well wear a sign that reads, ‘You are in charge.’” Get his book, start a reading group with your “conflicted” girlfriends, and in the future, see to it that your door policy is determined by you, not Jim Beam and Captain Morgan. (c)2010, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. JUNE 16-22, 2010 UCW 23

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