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Monday, June 14, 2010 – Daily News – 5A Sex life is minimal in 50s Cold sores send reader into hiding Dear Annie: Is sex over in your 50s? My husband started sleeping on the couch 10 years ago because he claimed I snored. I had surgery that was supposed to alleviate it, but since we still don’t sleep together, I’m not sure whether that was the real prob- lem and, if so, whether I’m cured. We get together occa- sionally for sex, but the last time was three months ago. My hus- band isn’t the type to say ‘‘I love you,’’ and when I say it, he replies, ‘‘OK.’’ We only kiss when he leaves for work in the morning and before I go to bed (by myself). And most of the time, it’s not a real kiss. He simply offers me his cheek. We have talked about it, and he promises to do better. He said he would see the doctor, but has- n’t. Nor has he done anything else to improve the situation. I would adore a big hug and a real kiss and to be told ‘‘I love you.’’ I know he cares for me, but it feels like I am living with my brother. I exercise and am slender and think I look pretty nice. I’m almost always in a good mood and try to be complimentary of him. Should I just accept how things are, or should I give him an ultimatum? Any advice? — Married and Alone Dear Alone: We don’t recommend an ultimatum unless you are willing to follow through with the threat. While there are myriad possible explanations for your husband’s lack of interest, the most likely is that he has low testosterone levels. Insist he see his doctor. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar advance. Dear Annie: I have been with ‘‘Paul’’ for the past 10 years, and we have three kids. We never married. Paul was once abusive both emotionally and physically. He got better when our first child was born six years ago. I will always care about Paul, but I don’t love him any- more. He knows this because I’ve told him. The problem is, Paul will not leave the house. We both agree that things between us will never work out, but he refuses to go. I have been seeing another man for the past seven months, but we haven’t been intimate because of Paul. So would it be wrong if I started having sex with my boyfriend while Paul is still in the house? — Tired of Being Held Back Dear Tired: Even though you never mar- ried, you and Paul may have a legally binding common-law marriage. Unless you want to con- tinue sharing a home with him, one of you needs to leave. Talk to an attorney about how to disentangle the finances and home ownership, and have a custody and visitation agreement in place for the sake of your children, who need both their parents. If neces- sary , offer to mak e the appoint- ment for him, and alert the doctor to your con- cerns in Please take care of this before you start having sex with another man in the same house as your children’s father. Dear Annie: This is FEATURES DEAR DR. GOTT: I seem to for ‘‘Terrified and Con- fused in Canada,’’ who wanted to take a break from her boyfriend of three years, but worried about losing him forev- er. Three years ago, I went through a heart- wrenching breakup with my long-time boyfriend, ‘‘Zane.’’ We loved each other, but were having a lot of problems that weren’t getting resolved. Two years later, we started talking again and worked through our old prob- lems. We are now living together and talking about marriage. Taking a break did wonders for our rela- tionship. I love him more than ever because I know what my life would be like without him. Zane and I are much happier knowing we are sure this is what we want. — Head Over Heels in Minnesota Dear Minnesota: You and Zane were wise to understand that you needed the perspective a break offered. Dear Readers: Today is Flag Day and the 31st Annual Pause for the Pledge of Allegiance at 4 p.m. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast. net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Renowned psychiatrist to visit Chico Dr. Daniel G. Amen will be at Neighborhood Church, 2801 Notre Dame Blvd., in Chico at 1 p.m. on Tuesday, June 22. Dr. Amen is a renowned physician, psychiatrist, brain imag- ing specialst and best selling author of A Mag- nificent Mind At Any Age. The event is present- ed by Passages. Space is limited. Registration can be done at http://magnif- icentmind.eventbrite.co m or by phone at 1-800- 995-0878. There is no cost to attend, but dona- tions will be accepted. CEU’s will be available to professionals for $75. PAID ADVERTISEMENT suffer from frequent cold sores and am constantly covering my mouth to hide the unsightly lesions. I have spent a great deal of money on remedies but recently saw a prod- uct called Lip Clear Lysine + at my local pharmacy. I don’t know if it’s any better than what I have tried so far and would like your opinion. Can you get me on the right track? DEAR READER: Cold sores are caused by the herpes simplex virus type 1 and most commonly affect the lips. Less commonly, they can occur on the chin, fingers or in the nostrils, and rarely, they may present in the mouth. These fluid-filled blisters are painful, itchy and contagious, lasting about two weeks. The virus can be spread by sharing the same glass or silverware, kissing, touching and more. The virus can lie dormant in the system indefinitely. Attacks appear to be triggered by stress, fatigue, a compro- mised immune system, sun exposure, fever and food allergies. If you are plagued with repeated bouts, you might do some investigation to determine a possible cause. Consult your physician for his or her input, as well. Cold sores should not be confused with canker sores, which are ulcers on the soft tissues of the mouth and are not conta- gious. Remedies that might be used at the first indication of a cold sore include L-lysine, wearing sunscreen on the lips, lemon balm and supplemental vitamin B complex. Lysine is an amino acid found in numer- ous foods, including yogurt, meat and cheese. It may work because it competes with another amino acid known as argi- nine, necessary for the cold-sore virus to multiply. Additional components in the product you found include olive oil, yellow beeswax, goldenseal, echinacea and tea- tree oil. Perhaps you can give it a try to determine whether it provides relief and shortens the duration and repetition of bouts. Dr. Peter Gott Other remedies include Cam- pho-Phenique, Abreva, Zicam, Releev, Zovirax and more. Consult your pharmacist for his or her rec- ommendation. DEAR DR. GOTT: Recently, I had some routine blood tests done as part of a physical exam. I am 53, and my doctor stated I have hypothyroidism. This comes as a surprise, as I had no symptoms other than being tired all the time. I have stable COPD and attributed the fatigue to that. My TSH level is 6.17. My doctor wants me to take levothyroxine, 50 mcg, but I’m a little hesitant, as I am not sure if I really need it. DEAR READER: Levothyroxine is synthetic thyroid-hormone replacement therapy that can be taken successfully by most people, primarily because thyroid hormone occurs naturally in the body. There are no common side effects. Howev- er, when side effects do occur, they can include allergic reactions to one or more of the inactive ingredients and symptoms of hyperthyroidism caused by therapeutic overdose. If your physician has your com- plete medical history and believes you should be on replacement therapy, you can either take his or her word for it or you can request a referral for a second opinion. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Thyroid Disorders.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. I For information on participation in Kids & Families call (530) 527-2151 P.A.W.S. (Partners for Animal Welfare & Safety) A Volunteer Program Dedicated to the Prevention of Litters, Not the Destruction of Unwanted animals. HOW CAN YOU HELP? CALL US! 528-8018 Please leave your number we WILL call you back P.O. Box 8908, Red Bluff CA 96080 THE VACUUM MAN 440 Antelope Boulevard Suite 6 VACUUMS (Hoover Spirit • Simplicity • Koblenz • Miele • Panasonic) SEWING MACHINES NEW & RECONDITIONED, REPAIRS, BAGS, PARTS, ACCESSORIES V 1995 $ Service with coupon acuum 440 Antelope Blvd. Suite 6 Red Bluff, CA 96080 (530) 527-8644 Member of the Better Business Bureau P.A.W.S. (Partners for Animal Welfare & Safety) P.A.W.S. SAYS...ANIMAL SAFETY ALERT Please pay particular attention, when you are out and about, to distress calls (barking) from dogs in parked cars or trucks. The heat build up reaches dangerous levels within MINUTES! The animal senses the discomfort and usually will first react with excited efforts to seek escape with frantic barking or, in advanced stages of distress, will often seek the lowest level and lay down in an attempt to breathe. Heat prostration, stoke and death. All because people will not listen to the experts who have studied the dire efects that can happen in such a short time! As good stewards for animals, please take few moments to react in their behalf. Take down the make, model and license plate information. Call the police! These people can be cited as it is against the law! Isn’t it a shame we have this situation year after year, when with just a moment of common sense and the expression of ‘tough love’, these animals could be made to stay home in their familiar sur- roundings and prevent any of the above issues? Thank you for taking time to come to their rescue! NEED TO FIND A HOME FOR A PET? Go to our web page: pawstehama.com select “links”. WANT TO FIND A PET? Go direct to petfinder.com Accepting Enrollment for 2010-2011 Kindergarten through Eighth Grade Call (530) 527-7040 Serving Tehama County Since 1970 R H L C O O O H M C M S U N N T I A I Y S C T