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4B Daily News ��� Saturday, March 30, 2013 FEATURES effective Partner smokes, plays poker Lithium still mostdisorder drug for bipolar bling problem. You cannot force a person to stop smoking, but you can refuse to live in that environment. You also cannot demand that he stop gambling, but if he is addicted and unwilling to quit, you will have an ongoing issue about money. He may have wonderful qualities that you appreciate, but we don���t see him as a long-term partner unless he is willing to work on these things. Dear Annie: I���m 12 years old and started middle school in the fall. I���ve begun hanging out with a group of four other girls. I never really talked to them until this year. These girls have been together since kindergarten, and it seems that one of them doesn���t fully accept me. She has put up a wall between the other girls and me, and I doubt she���ll be ready to take it down for a long time. I���d like to be fully accepted and want to tell them that, but I don���t want to be pushy and unkind. What do I do? ��� On the Wrong Side of the Wall Dear Wrong Side: You seem to have a solid grasp of the situation, but we don���t recommend you pit yourself against the other girl. She has ������seniority,������ and her friends will back her position if forced to take sides. Instead, get to know her better. Find something you admire about her, and tell her. She needs to see you as an ally and not as a threat to her position within the group. It will take a little while, but in the process, you could be making a friend for life. Dear Annie: I���m in love with a wonderful man who has a couple of habits I can���t seem to get past no matter how often I tell myself they aren���t important. My partner is 47, Annie���s smokes heavily, does not exercise and spends a good by Kathy Mitchell part of each day and Marcy Sugar playing online poker. I am by no means a health fanatic or a model of productivity, but I do my best to stay in shape and live a relatively healthy, active life. His habits don���t hurt me personally, but I can���t help finding them distasteful and a turn-off. And that���s the last thing I want to feel about someone I���m in love with. I also believe in letting people be who they are. So am I even within my rights asking him to change these habits ������or else������? Or am I being too demanding, considering his otherwise excellent qualities? I���m afraid that the way I feel about these quirks will eventually overshadow the beautiful, positive feelings I have for him. That is depressing to contemplate. ��� Hoping for Change Dear Hoping: These ������quirks������ do affect you if you live together or share finances. Secondhand smoke can be deadly for you, and someone who plays online poker might have a gam- Mailbox Dear Annie: Years ago, I could have written the letter from ������Tired Daughter,������ whose mother is an alcoholic. Setting boundaries is good advice. My parents divorced to protect my younger brothers from my mother���s drinking and bipolar behavior. When I had kids, I would never leave them with my mother or force them to visit. They saw her occasionally, and I found that she was content simply to hear about their accomplishments and receive occasional pictures to show off. Sometimes Mom would call me, drunk and swearing. If she would not stop, I would hang up. After a few times of that, she no longer called when she was inebriated. I continued to visit her weekly and had a fairly good relationship within the necessary restrictions. When she died, I had no regrets. Tell ������Tired������ not to listen to Mom���s negative stuff. She can change the subject or try to reason with her. If it���s a bad day and that doesn���t work, leave. I hope this helps. You can���t control her, but boundaries help. ��� Been There Annie���s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie���s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Monroe, Eisenhower letters to be auctioned NEW YORK (AP) ��� Marilyn Monroe���s letter of despair to mentor Lee Strasberg and Dwight D. Eisenhower���s heartfelt missives to his wife during World War II are among hundreds of historical documents being offered in an online auction. Monroe���s handwritten, Just In Time For Warmer Weather! Tax Return Specials Don���t let that return go to ���waist��� when it could get you in shape! 2 Months Tanning Only $50 *Limited to one per person* Must be 18 3 Ways to Save Hundreds on Memberships 4 months ��� 8 months or Annual Membership Specials call or go to tehamafamilyfitness.com for more info on membership pricing. Standard rate apply after promotion Tehama Family Fitness Center 2498 South Main St, Red Bluff ��� 528-8656 www.tehamafamilyfitness.com undated letter to the famed acting teacher is expected to fetch $30,000 to $50,000 in the May 30 sale. ������My will is weak but I can���t stand anything. I sound crazy but I think I���m going crazy,������ Monroe wrote on Hotel Bel-Air letterhead stationery. ������It���s just that I get before a camera and my concentration and everything I���m trying to learn leaves me. Then I feel like I���m not existing in the human race at all.������ The 58 Eisenhower letters, handwritten between 1942 and 1945, range from news of the war to the Allied commander���s devotion to his wife, Mamie. They are believed to be among the largest group of Eisenhower letters to survive intact and could bring up to $120,000, said Joseph Maddalena, whose Profiles in History is auctioning the items. They are among 250 letters and documents being sold by an anonymous American collector. Selected items will be exhibited April 8-16 at Douglas Elliman���s Madison Avenue art gallery. Also included is a typed, undated draft letter from John Lennon to Linda and Paul McCartney that reflects the deep animosity between the two Beatles around the time of the foursome���s formal 1971 breakup. The two-page letter is unsigned and contains corrections. A photographic logo on the stationery shows Lennon and his wife Yoko Ono within a circle with their lips almost touching. ������Do you really think most of today���s art came about because of the Beatles? I don���t believe you���re that insane ��� Paul ��� do you believe that? When you stop believing it you might wake up!������ Lennon writes. It���s expected to fetch $40,000 to $60,000. ing confuDEAR DOCTOR K: sion, loss of I have bipolar disorder. consciousI���ve experienced the ness and highest highs and the dangerous lowest lows. How can h e a r t one medication ��� rhythms. As lithium ��� treat both a result, peoextremes? ple taking DEAR READER: the drug Bipolar disorder is cerDr. K need to have tainly a condition of by Anthony L. extremes ��� extreme Komaroff, M.D. regular blood tests. opposites. The main alternatives On the one hand are episodes of mania. Dur- to lithium are anti-seizure ing these episodes people drugs (anticonvulsants). with bipolar disorder feel These drugs also treat like they���re ���on a high.��� mania and stabilize They have grandiose moods, but they aren���t as thoughts and pumped-up effective as lithium for self-esteem. They need a protecting against depreslot less sleep than normal, sion and preventing suibut feel energized to the cide. Other drugs prescribed extreme. That energy may go into something pro- for bipolar disorder antipsychotic, ductive, such as accom- include plishing a goal. But it can antidepressant or antimedications. just as easily veer into anxiety negative territory, with Antipsychotics can help racing thoughts, agitation, treat distorted or psychoterratic behavior, or ic thinking that may occur destructive, pleasure- during an episode of mania. Antidepressants seeking urges. Then there���s the other are effective for depresside of bipolar disorder: sion, but they can trigger the sadness and hopeless a manic episode. Antifeelings of depression. anxiety drugs can help The feeling that you don���t with the jitters, racing have the energy or desire thoughts and overall to do much of anything. worry and distress that The lack of interest in often accompany manic things that used to give episodes. There���s a good chance you pleasure. Even the thoughts of ending the of relapse when you go pain of the extreme sad- off medications. As a ness and hopelessness result, you may need to you feel ��� and the pain stay on some medication you may see you are caus- or combination of meding the people you love ��� ications indefinitely to keep your mood stable. by ending your life. Lithium is a natural While it may seem unlikely that one treat- substance, not an unnaturment can affect both al drug created by ���poles��� of bipolar disor- chemists in a pharmaceuder ��� the mania and the tical lab. It must work by depression ��� it���s true. I changing the chemical think of it as the treatment environment in the brain. pulling both poles back Many scientists are trying toward the middle, to solve the riddle of how evening out the peaks and it works, because that valleys. It diminishes could lead to new drugs that are equally effective, thoughts of suicide. Lithium is the most but have fewer side widely known medication effects and don���t require used to treat bipolar disor- frequent blood-test monider, as it helps to stabilize toring, as lithium does. Dr. Komaroff is a mood, the chief goal of treatment. Like any drug, physician and professor it can cause side effects at Harvard Medical To send ��� dizziness, difficulty School. go to with concentration, thy- questions, or roid problems and others. AskDoctorK.com, And lithium doses that are write: Ask Doctor K, 10 too high can quickly Shattuck St., Second become dangerous, caus- Floor, Boston, MA 02115. HOME SERVICES DIRECTORY Online: Publishes 24/7 $ 109 Print and Online www.redbluffdailynews.com Three additional online locations at no extra cost! Per Month No early cancellation, non-refundable Contractor Construction R. G. SIDES When you want it done right ... 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