Up & Coming Weekly

SENIOR CORNER SENIOR CORNER Too Close for Comfort by MARTHA OWEN and SUSAN GUY It’s happening in the White House and in homes throughout Fayetteville. When President Obama’s mother-in- law, Marian Robinson, settled in with her family in Washington last year, they became part of a growing national trend. The increasing number of seniors now living under the same roof with at least one other generation is more than just political news. According to a recent survey conducted for Home Instead Senior Care, 43 percent of adult care- givers in the U.S. ages 35 to 62 reside with the parent, stepparent or older relative for whom they or someone else in their household provides care. The Census Bureau confirms this growing trend: In 2000, 2.3 million older parents were living with their adult children; by con- trast, in 2007, that number jumped to 3.6 million — a 55 percent increase. Several factors are driving this trend. Families are coming together to More and more, seniors are living with their children. share family caregiving duties for economic reasons and emotional support. Sometimes the seniors need care, but in other instances the older adults could be providing care to their own grandchildren. Seniors may feel they need the emotional support of an extended family and, in these difficult economic times, financial assistance. Regardless of the reasons, combining households is a big decision. Some families may decide that maintaining separate residences is the best alternative. Inter-generational living seems to generate positive feelings of care and accomplishment combined with stress. Consider these tips: • Take a family partnership perspective. Everyone needs to be informed and to give input into household arrangements. •Set expectations right away. Avoid conflict by working to ensure upfront that family members see eye-to-eye about each person’s roles and responsibilities. •Ask for help. Engage children in responsibilities around the home and make it clear to adult siblings that you want them to be involved. If extended family will not help with respite care, arrange for a professional caregiver service. •Make family unity key. Strive for routines, rituals and traditions that bring the family together including family movie night or a walk. •Find threads of common interest and build on those to develop family activities that are conducive to building deeper relationships. Focus on some- thing very simple that seems to generate a common bond, such as ethnic cook- ing, family history, health or wellness. •Keep lines of communication open. Recognize the importance of private time and family time for every member of the household. Visit the Web-site www.4070talk.com for more information. •Distinguish between private space and shared space. Shared space should be stocked with material inviting for all ages and items that could stimulate dis- cussion, such as a child’s project or “brag book” of photos. Make clear rules regarding the private spaces set aside for each member of the household. A Web site, www.makewayformom.com, provides additional support and information, including a calculator that will help families compute and compare whether living together or maintaining separate residences is the best financial option. In addition, the Web site features a virtual tour of an intergenerational home where visitors can hear from a real family and see firsthand how they have adapted their home. Penn State’s Matt Kaplan said that families should approach decisions of combining households from a partnership perspective. “Ask yourself, ‘Can I get the whole family behind the idea?’ When a decision is made to combine families, expectations must be set right away. Family members must listen and become engaged in conversation. The more the entire family buys in at the beginning, the more likely they will be to come up with great ideas,” he noted. “People need independence, but seeking interdependence and family unity are important as well, particularly in today’s hectic and demanding world.” MARTHA OWEN & SUSAN GUY Contributing Writers COMMENTS? 484-6200 ext. 222 or editor@upandcomingweekly.com WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM JUNE 2-8, 2010 UCW 17 1st 200 ladies in the gate get a free rose, courtesy of Owen and Bordeaux Florists Seat cushion giveaway for 1st 500 fans, sponsored by Time Warner Cable 1st 500 fans 21 and over, receive a souvenir mug courtesy of Healy Wholesale & Blue Moon  Flip our pages for news, views art and entertainment! Call and ask one of our marketing representatives to help you grow your business. 484-6200

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