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2B Daily News – Thursday, March 7, 2013 FEATURES Couple squabble about money troubles particular friend who is Dear Annie: Money is a obsessive about RSVPs. She constant issue in our house. insists on them for everyI need my wife to quit her thing from a backyard BBQ part-time job at a superstore to a girls' night at the and find one with a better movies. Telling her "yes" salary. She knows this. But over the phone or in person every time I bring it up, she doesn't count. It has to be by gets angry and defensive return mail or a response to and says that I am calling her lazy. I am totally not Annie's an Evite. I live 200 miles away. saying that. She's a hard Once, I RSVP'd yes, but my worker. We have a total of $50 in by Kathy Mitchell car broke down two days savings. We also have a and Marcy Sugar before the event. I called immediately to tell her I young son and hope to have another child. I'd like to move into a wouldn't be able to come, and she house. To accomplish this, we need berated me for having said "yes" if two full-time salaries. How do I it was not a sure thing, like I bring this up without making my planned that my car would break wife angry? I love her dearly. — down. Then she criticized me for not being able to afford the repairs Grand Rapids, Mich. Dear Grand Rapids: Instead of in time. A month later, I received insisting that your wife find a bet- pictures of the trip to Europe she ter-paying job, try talking to her treated herself to in order to make about why she wants to stay where up for the disappointment of my she is. She may love her job. She having ruined her party. I rarely wish to be anywhere near may be afraid to look elsewhere. She might want to stay home with her now and pointedly ignore all the kids and believe you should be invitations that are not delivered the one to get a different job. And of verbally. If I can't make it, I pretend course, there may be other issues of I am treating her to her next extravwhich you are unaware. Tell her that agant vacation. — Had Enough you are worried about your finan- With RSVPs Dear Had Enough: Your friend cial situation, and ask, gently, why she is so reluctant to deal with it. sounds like a very high-mainteBut keep in mind that while nice, a nance drama queen. Insisting on house is not a requirement for rais- formal RSVP responses for inforing a family. Many couples manage mal gatherings is obsessive, and berating you for things beyond your just fine without one. Dear Annie: I staunchly refuse control is punitive. We don't know to attend gatherings thrown by a why you persist with this relation- Mailbox ship, but since you live 200 miles away, it would be fairly simple to move out of her orbit entirely Dear Annie: I have to make a quick comment in response to "Feeling the Void in Indiana," who said men feel incomplete without sex and will risk everything for it. I acknowledge and appreciate where this man is coming from. My husband also "felt the void" and did risk everything to fill it. Fortunately, we were able to work through his affair and remain together. As the infirmities of older age begin to set in, my husband is now grateful that I stuck by him and can care for him, and he is less concerned about sex. If "Feeling" has not yet had a frank conversation with his wife about his needs and asked about her satisfaction, he is making a huge mistake. My husband thought I knew what he needed and assumed I wouldn't care that he was pursuing satisfaction elsewhere. But he didn't communicate clearly and never asked me whether I was happy. That cost us untold pain that could have been avoided. — Wish It Had Been Different Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Go green this St. Patrick's Day By Jennifer Cooper With St. Patrick's Day at its heart, March is a very green month. People celebrating the luck of the Irish wear green clothing, drink green beverages, and can even be found enjoying a shamrock milkshake from time to time. We'd like to encourage you to go green in another way, too. Being environmentally friendly isn't an elusive pot of gold at the end of some rainbow — it is something everyone can work toward with little steps. Reusing and recycling, planting a tree, and using Social Security's online services. When you use Social Security's online services, there's no paper, printing, postage, or travel needed. Here are a few of our most popular online services: • Try out our expanded my Social Security services, available at www.socialsecurity.gov/myaccount. It's a one-stop shop to obtain a Social Security Statement for checking your earnings record or estimated future benefits, or (if you already get benefits) for checking your payment amount, changing your address and telephone number in our records, getting a benefit verification letter, and start- ing or changing your direct deposit information. • Use our Retirement Estimator to get a quick and accurate estimate of your future Social Security retirement benefits. www.socialsecurity.gov/esti mator • Prepare for your retirement by visiting our Benefits Planner page. You also can go here to use the disability and survivors planners to find out how much you or your family might qualify for if the need arises. www.socialsecurity.gov/pla nners • Retire online. You can complete and submit your retirement application in as little as 15 minutes. www.socialsecurity.gov/reti reonline • Apply online for disability benefits. www.socialsecurity.gov/ap plyfordisability • Apply online for Medicare benefits. www.socialsecurity.gov/me dicareonly Go green with Social Security's online services this month and throughout the year. For a complete list of our online services, visit www.socialsecurity.gov/onl ineservices. Jennifer Cooper is the Social Security manager in Redding. Fire safety, defensible space workshops offered The Tehama County Resource Conservation District will present two workshops on Fire Safety and Defensible Space. Each workshop will be tailored for slightly different audiences, and the community is invited to attend the workshop that is most applicable to them. The workshops, titled "Fire Safety and Defensible Space for Rural Landowners," will be held at 5 p.m. Wednesday, March 20, at the Evergreen Middle School Library in Cottonwood and 5 p.m. Wednesday, March 27, at West Cottonwood School in Cottonwood. To attend either of the workshops, RSVP to Rose Calzontzi by calling (530) 527-3013 x115 or by emailing rose@tehamacountyrcd.org. HOME SERVICES DIRECTORY Online: Publishes 24/7 $ 109 Print and Online Per Month No early cancellation, non-refundable www.redbluffdailynews.com Three additional online locations at no extra cost! In Print Every Tues. - Thurs.- Sat. Clock Repair Concrete Contractor CHAPMAN CONCRETE CONSTRUCTION When you want it done right ... Burrows Construction — Inspect indiDEAR DOCvidual equipment. TOR K: Two of Playground my child's friends equipment is suphave hurt themposed to be selves playing on inspected and the playground maintained, but recently. What can that doesn't I do to keep my always happen. child safe? Dr. K *Ladders, platDEAR READby Anthony L. forms and steps: ER: Kids get exercise, burn off ener- Komaroff, M.D. Steps should be in good condition gy and develop their motor skills by run- and handrails should have ning, jumping and climb- appropriate grip sizes for ing on swing sets, monkey children. Platforms should bars and other playground be surrounded by a guardrail or protective equipment. But each year more barrier. *Swings should be at than 200,000 children in the United States visit least 24 inches apart and emergency rooms for 30 inches from any supplayground injuries. The ports. The cushioning surmost common are broken face should extend for at bones, bruises, scrapes least twice the height of and deeper cuts. More the swing, in front and serious injuries also occur. back of the swing seat, Here's the advice my and at least 6 feet to each pediatrician colleagues side of the structure. *Slides should be well give parents to keep their anchored, have firm kids as safe as possible: — Supervise your handrails and have steps child. Children of all ages with good traction. There should be under constant should be no spaces supervision when playing between the slide platform on the playground. and the slide itself. *Seesaws: The handles Injuries can happen when kids use the equipment in should be secure and easy to grip. There should be a unsafe ways. — Guide children to soft bumper under the botage-appropriate equip- tom of the seat, and all ment. Most playground pivot points should be to prevent equipment is designed covered with a specific age range pinched fingers. If you find that the in mind. Very young children should not be left cushioning beneath the unattended in a swing, for equipment, or the equipment itself, does not meet example. My colleagues also these standards in the playadvise parents to carefully ground where you'd like check out the playground your child to play, organize where they'd like their some other parents. Then kids to play. The specific as a group, contact the peothings parents should ple responsible for the playground — usually a focus on are: — Check for cushion- local government. People ing beneath equipment. make many demands of Playground equipment their government, and govshould not be located over ernments can't always hard surfaces such as respond. But a threat to the grass, packed dirt, rocks, health of children is someasphalt or blacktop. thing responsible authoriAcceptable surfaces ties are likely to take very include thick layers of seriously. hardwood fiber/mulch, Dr. Komaroff is a pea gravel and sand. Other options include rubber physician and professor Harvard Medical tiles or mats. Cushioned at To send surfaces should be provid- School. go to ed under all equipment questions, or and should extend at least AskDoctorK.com, 6 feet in all directions write: Ask Doctor K, 10 from the edge of the Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. equipment. Your Clock Repair Shop Jim Paul 20910 Pebblestone Dr. Red Bluff 530-736-7079 Mechanical, Battery and Electrical clocks Call for appt. All phases of concrete Residential - Commercial Regular - Decorative • Remove and Replace • Overlays and Restoration Bud Chapman Free Estimates 530-840-6549 Member NAWCC Lic#719972 Landscape Contractors Landscape/Fence Steve's Tractor * Custom Landscaping * Landscape Maintenance * Irrigation Experts 30 years experience consistent & reliable Bonded & Insured David P. McFann Office (530) 527-3163 visit us @ dpm-landscaping.com Ca. 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