Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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Perfection in a Mason Jar by PITT DICKEY Just when I thought nothing could be finer than watching New Jersey Governor Chris Christie open some new orifices in John Boehner and the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, I realized I knew something even better. The Nectar of the Gods is available right across the Cape Fear River at Kinlaw's Supermarket. I refer to the greatest invention since man discovered fire — Kinlaw's Hogwash BBQ Sauce. Without a doubt Kinlaw's Hog Wash is the finest barbecue sauce ever conceived by the mind of mortal man. I have eaten a fair amount of barbecue in my time and I know that of which I speak. I have been to the promised land of the world's greatest BBQ sauce at Kinlaws. I have seen the future of BBQ sauce and it works. The Hogwash is good on everything. Eggs, biscuits, sausage, soup, pork and fried chicken. You name it, the Hogwash makes everything taste like it just dropped down from Heaven's kitchen. If I could mainline Hogwash intravenously, I would do so but for the chunks of red pepper that might somehow clog some relatively important artery. But what a way to go. Hogwash is so delicious that it is hard to keep from drinking it directly from the Mason Jar as you walk to your pick up truck to rush home and put it on your pancakes. It is only a matter of time before Gourmet Magazine goes over the river and through the woods down Sapona Road to discover the wonders of Kinlaw's Hogwash. The purpose of this column is to spread the word about the Hogwash before it is snapped up by some giant food conglomerate and shipped off to be made in China. Get out and buy some while you still can. You'll be glad you did. Let us consider the many wonders of Kinlaw's Hogwash. The Hogwash is music to your mouth. It has grace notes of apple cider vinegar, crushed red pepper, cayenne pepper and more than a little magic in every Mason Jar. The Hogwash is full bodied with nuances of flavor and character that will leave your mouth calling for more. Hogwash is approachable, brimming with flavor featuring a soft lingering finish that creates indelible memories of any food that is graced with its glistening sauce. Hogwash is light as a feather on scrambled eggs. The firm flavorful structure of a piece of fried chicken doused in Hogwash leaves one with the happiness felt on a frosty Carolina morning after the Tar Heels beat Dook. The aroma of Hogwash has a celestial complexity that caresses your nose as soon as you enter into its presence. When you open a new jar of Hogwash, you will breathe in the faint aromas of pig pickings from your lost youth. There is no let down from aroma to the palate. The taste of Hogwash can only be compared to the artistry of Vincent Van Gogh during his earless period. In short, Hogwash is a masterpiece of integration of layers of pepper, apple cider vinegar and star dust. Hogwash does not claim to have medicinal qualities, but after consuming Hogwash the diner will be bright eyed, bushy tailed and ready to take on the world. Imagine a storm of happiness on your tongue and you begin to understand the mystique that is Kinlaw's Hogwash. The full throttle notes of pepper will put a git in your git-a-long. I am not saying that Hogwash will allow you to conquer the world, but it will point you in the right direction. A coating of Hogwash turns any food into ambrosia that is so beautiful that it will bring tears to your eyes. Be grateful we are all living in the golden age of Hogwash. The exquisite sheen of Hogwash has a polished surface that hides a fiery BBQ sauce just waiting to leap out and nip your taste buds in the bud. When you finish a meal touched by Hogwash, it leaves a mellow feeling in your mouth like that first kiss on top of childhood's long ago Ferris wheel of love. The mystic English poet William Blake once saw "eternity in a grain of sand." If Blake were alive today, he could taste eternity in a Mason Jar at Kinlaw's My father, Ed Dickey, used to say the "inner man is happy." Although he usually said this after a big meal and a couple of martinis, I am sure he would feel the same way about Kinlaw's Hogwash. I am just sorry he did not live to enjoy Hogwash. Gather ye Hogwash while ye may. Buy some today. Time, tide and BBQ sauce wait PITT DICKEY, Columnist. for no man. Don't leave this Earth COMMENTS? without trying Hogwash. Editor@upandcomingweekly.com The Antique Bakery & Cafe •We are more than just coffee and pastries. Visit us for winter "feel good" meals Chicken Corn Chowder • Gingerbread Latte' Monday Magic Magically, the entire café can be yours to host a special event. Dine In • Take Out • Outdoor Seating Daily breakfast, lunch and dinner specials b Closed Monday Tues., Wed., Thurs. 9 a.m. - 9 p.m. Fri., Sat., 9 a.m. - 10 p.m. Sunday 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. 25 253 Westwood Shopping Center (next to the cinema behind the tree) 910.920.4231 6 UCW JANUARY 16-22, 2013 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM