The North Carolina Mason

January/February 2009

North Carolina Mason

Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/4606

Contents of this Issue

Navigation

Page 5 of 7

Page 6 BeneaTh The OakS Through the eyes of the child By Allen Hughes Administrator Masonic Home for Children at Oxford Oh, the tangled web we weave! My living at the “Orphanage” as a child was much easier for me to understand than it is for me to explain to the children who live here why they’re here today, or in some cases why they can’t stay here, or to explain why certain decisions have been made which they think are not fair to them. Some of the circumstances in the relationships of the parents/cus- todians and the children are complex and keep us from being able to tell the children everything they would like to know. Unfortu- nately, the uncertainties the children experience, especially when they’ve had to leave their home and family, can be as traumatic as any physical or verbal abuse. There have been frequent occasions when someone has told me they once lived in a large residential home such as ours or in foster homes and then commenced to relate some of their experiences. Two unpleasant themes that often emerge from the conversations are (1) the emotional distress of not knowing the truth and (2) the instability caused by frequent moves. Unfortunately, children today who have been placed outside their homes face the same dilemma. It is so disheartening to see the anguish on a child’s face or to hear the bitterness when parent/guardians were not truthful or failed to follow through on something they said they would do. Case in point, a couple of weeks ago I noticed one of our young girls who usually is “bubbly” and has an endearing smile seemed unhappy. It being her birthday, I jokingly asked her if “getting old” made her unhappy. Her response indicated she thought her father had forgotten her on her special day. Too many times we forget how important certain events can be to a child, or for that matter, to an adult. I will be one of the first to agree that it is best for children to live with their family if they can live safely and be properly cared for. However, I will be among of the first to argue that it is neither safe nor proper in many cases for children to live with their family or relatives. Most people in child care work will agree that children should be removed from unsafe situations, but dis- agreement often occurs in deciding what is best for the children once removed from their home. All too often children are moved frequently in foster care or in and out of their own home trying to create a stable childhood. We seem to fail to recognize that each move further disrupts the child’s life. Permanence is critical to all of us, especially to children; yet so many times when children are removed from their homes they experience constant instability. The more children move the less secure they feel, and they stop trusting those who promise to make their life better. Each move keeps them from getting comfortable because they wonder when it is time to move again. That’s why we try to make MHCO home for our children. Throughout the history of our children’s home, we have tried to provide a caring and stable environment for children who could not live safely in their own homes. Despite our record of success, the social services system considers our Home as a last resort or only a temporary placement for children in need of a stable en- vironment. If children are left with MHCO long enough they recognize that their life can be stable here and that they have a chance for a positive future. We try to help reunite children with their family if practical, but we also make this home for them from the beginning in case moving back with their family is not appropriate. In some cases, children become comfortable here and prefer to stay rather than move again. Unfortunately, the desires of the child often are ignored. While most of the children are too young to legally decide what should happen to them, even the youngest know when they are comfortable and content. Their concerns are worth consideration, yet there are many times that a child’s wishes or the recommendations of our staff are ignored, and the children are removed from our care. Why do I continue to express concern that our society in general and federal and state governments in particular seem to be focusing more effort to remove the large residential homes as an option for caring for children in need? Many of our sup- porters – Masons and alumni alike – keep reacting to comments that the Masonic Home for Children is about to close or that the state is running our Home. We all need to understand that as long as we continue to support the efforts to provide a safe and caring home for children in need, our Home will be open to children for years to come. We offer many positives for chil- dren that offset not being able to live in a traditional family. In times of economic turmoil such as our nation currently is expe- riencing, logic should dictate that we find a safe environment for abused and neglected chil- dren with the least demand for public spending. The Masonic Home for Children, as in the past, provides a unique option. Youth should be given a chance to become productive citizens rather than being bur- dens on society. Permanence and a stable life improve the chances for success. I have nei- ther the facts and figures nor research studies readily avail- able to compare the success of graduates from our Home with the general population. However, a brief follow-up on the graduates and former resi- dents of the Masonic Home for Children will show that most have been productive and valuable citizens to their communities. As for being deprived of the experience of living with family, many of our graduates will tell you this is their home. The life they had here was much better than they could have experienced living elsewhere, especially with relatives or other family members. Many of us have heard “home is where the heart is,” and to me and many other alumni the Masonic Home for Children still is home. While our numbers are dwindling due to the influence of “Father Time,” each October many alumni of the Home re- turn to be with “family” and to reminisce. We realize how firm a foundation we were given. We talk of family and friends; we talk of teachers, counselors/cottage parents, coaches, vocational train- ers, and other adults in our time here with much affection and occasional disdain. In our conversations, the Masons of North Carolina are discussed with an air of gratitude. Even today, many remain in awe that people would give of themselves and their money to care for total strangers and expect nothing in return. It is an uncommon charity and one which often needs to be experi- enced to appreciate its value. This was, and is, our home. Many of the children here today feel the same way. It is good that they have family and relatives with whom they can bond, but it is more important to them that they have a safe and caring home in which to live. This has been made possible because it is the belief of our Masonic family that we can make life for others better, and we all have a part in doing so.Thank you, Brothers and your spouses, for caring. Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. Let me help Masonry's charities ❍ The North Carolina Masonic Foundation ❍ WhiteStone, a Masonic & Eastern Star Community (MESH) ❍ The Masonic Home for Children ❍ Send information about wills and bequests. ❍ Please have someone contact me. My name Address City Phone In memory of (optional) Address To assure that your gift is properly credited to the fund of your choice, please make the check payable to that charity. Mail to The Grand Lodge of North Carolina, PO Box 6506, Raleigh, NC 27628. – Herbert Henry Asquith The North Carolina Mason January/February 2009 State My lodge Zip WeLCome our new BroTherS 1 ...................................Joshua Avitan 1 ............................James Leroy Bjork 3 ............Thomas Franklin Bullard III 3 ...................Ralph Martin Campbell 3 .....................William Mark Carlisle 4 ................Daniel Antonio Carmona 8 ..........................Justin Karthy Cates 8 ....................Henry Francis Clothier 8 ...................................Joshua Avitan 8 ............................James Leroy Bjork 8 ............Thomas Franklin Bullard III 10 .................Ralph Martin Campbell 10 ...................William Mark Carlisle 19 ..............Daniel Antonio Carmona 19 ........................Justin Karthy Cates 19 ..................Henry Francis Clothier 19 .............. Jeffrey Douglas Cockman 19 ............... Michael William Combs 27 ...................William Henry Cox Jr. 27 ........................William Jesse Crisp 27 ................ David Michael Dawkins 27 ............Ronaldo Quintana Denuna 32 ....................... Albert Brian Disher 32 .......................David Marion Edge 32 ................Joshua Stephen Edwards 40 ................Ethan Preston Ellsworth 40 .................... John Hanby Foard III 45 ............ Richard Mackinzie Gaskill 53 .............Michael Francis Govignon 58 ................. Thomas Noel Harris IV 58 .........William Alexander Harrison 64 .......................Jonathan Roy Hicks 64 .......................Bruce Walter Hisley 64 ..........Wayne Aydlett Hollowell Jr. 76 ................... Steven Michael Jacobs 76 .....................Gregory Ray Johnson 76 ...............Zachary Kendall Johnson 76 ..........................Daniel Ryan Jones 83 .........................Grady Bryan Jones 83 ....................Matthew Ryan Joyner 83 ...........William Burdette Kicker Jr. 83 ......................Charles Bruce Lewis 83 .........David William Livingston Jr. 83 ................... Phillip Mark Mesimer 83 ................... Jonathan Rocco Mook 98 ...........................Eric Jason Morris 102 ................. Eric Andrew Mularski 104 ............................... Jack Mularski 106 .....................Scott Alan Mularski 106 ...........Jackson Thomas Newbauer 109 ......................Brian Scott Nichols 109 ................ Ryan Thomas Pedersen 113 ..................Edward Scott Prophet 115 ........................... Jason Terry Ruff 122 .............. James William Rutledge 123 .................... Shane Samuel Safrit 123 .............George Andrew Salmons 123 ...................Vincent Joseph Sarno 125 ..................... John Robert Schiffli 129 ..................Michael Eugene Scott 129 ...................Roger Adley Shuford 129 .................Keith Andrew Stocum 129 ...............Russell Brandon Struyk 129 ........................John B. Tallent III 129 ...................David Charles Taylor 134 ................ Ernest Stephen Teague 146 .....................Kevin Scott Thomas 154 .................Michael Shane Threatt 158 ...................Jon William Welborn 158 ..................... Brian Lamar Welch 158 .................. Ross Andrew Whaley 167 ...................Adam Kyle Wimmer 172 ....................... Joseph Reid Wynn 198 ........................ Jason Bryant York 198 ..................John Theodore Younts 198 ....................Burnie Deese Austin 202 .....................Travis Cashful Baity 205 .........Sean Dewey Points Bannon 207 .....................Daniel Lee Benfield 207 .................James Archie Biggs Jr.. 207 ..................Randy Coy Blanchard 214 ...................Gary Michael Boring 214 .........Branden Edward Buchanan 217 ....................Robert Scott Bullard 229 ...........Charles Vernon Carpenter 229 ............. Glen Mitchell Carpenter 237 ...........kenneth Eugene Collier Jr. 244 ................ Kevin Dwayne Conner 244 ..........................Jimmy Ray Cook 253 ..................James Gallant Cooper 253 ......................Darian Phil Correll 261 .........Matthew Wade Crutchfield 261 ...........................Brian Louis Cyr 261 ...........Wayne Robert Dauphinais 261 ...................Michael Grant Davie 261 ...Edward Cunningham Davis III 261 .................. John Carney Edwards 263 .......................John Russell Fields 263 ................... Franklin Ray Fulcher 263 ......................Alan Jay Gatewood 263 ...............Bobby Dwight Golding 263 .........................David Lynn Gray 265 ..............Israel Calderon Guzman 265 ........................ Steven Edsel Hall 267 .................... Jeffrey Charles Ham 267 ..........................Paul Jason Hayes 267 ...................Steven Eugene Hayes 267 .................Sidney Dawson Heath 282 ......................Levi Austin Hefner 282 .......................Henry Rives Hicks 282 ............Matthew Reade Holzbaur 283 ...............Joseph Earl Hutchinson 283 ....................Woodrow Inman III 283 .......................Kevin Lee Johnson 289 ...............Paul Alexander Johnson 289 .............William Matthew Joyner 289 ....... Michael Christopher Kenlan 289 .................. Jack Holden Kennedy 289 ...............................John Paul Lee 292 ........Christopher Lloyd Lewallen 294 ...................William Albert Lillie 300 ..................Troy Allen Lineberger 314 .........................Justin Joel Loaces 314 ........Woodrow Fleming Lovitt Jr. 322 .......................Johnny Dale Lucas 322 ................Joshua Dale McKinney 322 ..............Albert Louis McMicken 331 ............. Stephen Robert Mitchell 331 ..............Christopher Lee Moody 339 .......................Brian Scott Moore 343 ...............Donnie Wayne Morgan 363 ......................Erik Lance Nichols 363 .........................Toren Arthur Nix 377 ............. Christopher Scott Norris 378 .........................William R. Parke 381 .......................David Scott Poteat 384 ..................Mark Anthony Poulos 387 ..........Hassie Shelburne Reynolds 387 .......................Glenn Daniel Rice 387 .... Charlton Anthony Richardson 387 ..................Erik Arthur Schuman 388 .......................David Alan Shelby 388 ......... Brian Christopher Smedick 388 ...................John Wesley Sneed II 388 ................. Mahlon Patrick Swain 391 ..................... Jeffrey James Swink 391 .................... Darren Lee Trogdon 391 .................Michael Shane Turney 397 ................... Jeffrey Michael Ward 405 ..Council Haywood Weddington Jr. 405 ...........Waylon Daniel Westbrook 407 ........ Christopher Mark Withrow 407 .............David Clyde Wittman Jr. 407 ..................... Jackie Ray Womack 407 ................George Michael Yosich 408 ....................... Phillip Lee Younts 409 .....................Timothy Earl Baker 409 ..........Clifford Eugene Baldowski 409 .................Tracey Clayton Barker 412 ................. James Edward Beasley 412 .................... Matthew Carl Blake 413 ................... Richard Gray Bowen 413 ...............James Stephen Carberry 420 .............. Robert Bennett Carmon 420 ..................Gregory Lee Cathcart 427 ........... Frank Windel Crutchfield 429 ......................Vayton Neal Daniel 434 ........................Ben Everett Davis 434 ........................ Eric James Denny 434 ................... Victor Cole Edwards 435 ............ Sammy Stephen Evans II 437 .........................Kyle Thomas Frey 444 ................Phillip Curtis Gallahan 444 ..............Richard Hamme Garrett 461 .....................Jerry Michael Gibbs 461 ...................... Daniel Lee Glenny 461 ...............Anthony Lynn Godwin 461 ................Timothy Wayne Green 461 ..................... Justin Andrew Hale 461 ........................ John Clell Hamm 473 ..............Zackery Lee Handerson 473 ..............Michael Wayne Harman 483 .................Charles Warner Harris 484 ........................Daniel Ray Harris 484 ..................James Dennis Hartley 484 ...................Michael Dale Harvey 491 ..................... Joel James Herndon 496 ....William Thomas Highsmith Jr. 500 ...........Tarek Issam Aboul Houda 500 ............. Charles Edward Hudson 500 ................ Charles Vance Hudson 500 ..................................Stuart Innis 502 ...........................Scott Ray Justus 502 .............Wiley Branch Kessler III 505 .................Richard Alan Lambert 521 .............. Michael Anthony Lewis 532 ....................Mark Douglas Mabe 532 ........... Douglas Gene Maready II 543 ...................Walter Lino Marques 544 ........Howie George McCullough 550 ............ Joseph Wayne McDonald 552 ......................Roy Lewis McKain 554 ................ John Paxton McMillan 554 ............ Ryan Douglas McMillian 568 .....Durward Primrose Medlin III 571 .....................Jason David Mesner 571 .................. David Nelson Morley 573 .................... James Robert Mullis 576 .................Tedman Harold Myers 576 ............Christopher Brian Neaves 590 .......... Lloyd Arnold Newman III 590 ........................ Jeffrey Wayne Nix 592 ........................ Jason Perry Nixon 598 ....... Charles Chadwicke Owenby 598 ......Christopher Charles Owenby 609 ........................Jeffrey Cecil Paige 616 ...............Rodney Patrick Paulson 618 .......................Robert Paige Perry 624 ................. Clyde Darrell Pittman 627 ..................Kevin Michael Queen 629 ...............David Landon Rayburn 634 .........Thomas Mayes Rembert IV 637 .......................David Ralph Rowe 637 ................ Brett Allen Rutherford 637 ...........................Corey Reid Sain 637 ............. Patrick Ronald Salentine 646 ...........................Jason Lee Scates 657 ................... Matthew Allan Seats 657 ...............................Ira Lee Smith 658 ....................Jeramiah Lee Snyder 663 ...................Joshua Daniel Snyder 667 .....William Chester Stalnaker III 667 .......................Todd Wesby Tilley 673 .............. Thomas Randall Towery 674 ...............William Charles Troetti 674 ..............Dennis Franklin Tyndall 675 ..................Michael Lee Wagoner 675 ......................... Chad Evan Ward 678 ...... Christopher Bruce Wingfield 679 .................. Scott James Wischow 680 .................... Brian Neill Woychik 688 .....................James Bryan Wright 688 ....................Michael Leon Wyatt 689 .........................Joseph Eric Allen 694 ................ Joseph Allen Allsbrook 694 .................Dwight Wayne Austin 694 ....................James Robert Austin 694 .....................Stephen Ray Berrier 695 ................Timothy Hoyt Brawley 706 ..................Brandon Scott Brewer 708 ...................Jack Thomas Brock II 708 .....................Mark Glenn Carroll 708 ..................Mark Jarrett Chiarello 708 ................Dwight Edwin Church 708 ....... Charles Eugene Coddington 709 ..................Charles Matthew Cox 712 ......................Joshua David Crisp 714 .........................Adam Scott Delp 714 ..... Christopher William Dement 715 ............................Gail Lee Elliott 730 .................Grover Aubret Gore II 731 ................... Jerrod Stahr Hoyle II 731 ..............Phillip Meredith Hunter 734 .................Stephen Marshall Hux 734 .................James Kerr Macfarlane 734 ................Andrew James Malanik 735 .......................Edward Lee Mann 737 ............ Jacob Eugene McConnell 738 ................Barry Sterling Mitchell 738 ...................... Jacob Aaron Moyer 738 ..............Raymond Samuel Myers 738 ..................Anthony Ray Newton 738 ......................Mark Brian Oakley 738 ......................Robert Eric Ochart 739 ............Joseph Domenick Palmeri 739 .....................Jeffrey Brand Parker 741 ..................Dennis Guy Patterson 741 ...................... Joseph Lee Pegram 741 ................. Carlos Alberto Pereira 742 .....................Rodney Ervin Poole 742 ......................William Ray Ranes 742 ..................... Travis Sanders Ross 744 ..............Teddy Zachary Santiago 746 .................Kevin Carl Schutzman 749 ...................... Carlyon Lee Smith 749 ........................James Leon Smith 749 ............. Jonathan Carroll Thomas 749 ................Michael Leland Tucker 751 ................. Stuart Douglas Turner 751 .............Zandt John Franklin Van 755 ..................Joseph Kenneth Ward 755 ..............Daniel Vincent Wheeler 757 ..... Christopher Robert Whitaker 758 ................Mathew Albert Witt Jr. 758 .................... George Robert Frias 758 ...........Michael Leaverne Hargett 763 ...........Bobby Wendell Herring Jr. 763 ..........Luther Alexander Whitson 

Articles in this issue

Archives of this issue

view archives of The North Carolina Mason - January/February 2009
subscribe to email alerts